6 Months 11 Days – still sober
Happy second anniversary to: ‘My name is Mobi….’
My blog has just passed its two year anniversary, as my very first post was made on 7th July, 2009.
Here is what I wrote on that momentous day:
“This is the start of my very first blog.
The subject of this blog is alcoholism, and in particular, my alcoholism, and what I am doing in my life to combat this sickness.
The purpose of this blog is twofold:
First and foremost – and I make no apologies for this, even if it does seem to go against AA principles – is that I find it cathartic to write about my problems, and further, that there may be folk out there who may read my blog, maybe offer encouragement, and by so doing, give me the strength and determination to continue along my chosen course.
Secondly – and this is certainly in keeping with AA principles, there may be many alcoholics out there who will be encouraged, inspired (dare I hope for such a thing?), and even learn (Oh my God I’m getting too cocky by half!), from my ramblings.
I sincerely hope – whether I succeed or fail miserably – that you, dear readers, may derive some benefit from reading about my life and exploits, as it pertains to my on-going attempts to stop drinking.
There is one point I wish to make clear at the very outset. The very nature of my story necessitates that I have to be extremely discrete when writing about the people I encounter and interact with in my quest for sobriety. This means that you must take it as ‘read’ that all names and any information that could lead to discovery of those to whom I refer, will be fictionalised, in order to protect their anonymity.
So please, no speculation on anyone who is mentioned, as I can assure you that in all likelihood you will be way off the mark, as I am quite inventive.
But for me, Mobi, I will be an open book, and accept that as the price I pay for writing this blog.”
Now, two years on, I am taking stock of where I am in my life and in which direction is my blog going and indeed is there any point in continuing to write it?
In the past two years I have been though many traumatic adventures, and for those of you who have followed me throughout, you will know that in many ways I am lucky to still be alive.
So what have I been up to since July 2009?
- I finally called time on my marriage with Dang;
- I spent a year at a condo in Jomtien before moving to a rented property back by the lake;
- I have had countless drunken binges which have led to all manner of disastrous consequences, including several spells in hospital, a badly smashed wrist which has a permanent metal plate inserted in it and will never be the same as it was;
- I wrecked my car so badly that it took 6 months to fix;
- I have had enumerable affairs with whores, all of which ended badly;
- I have written several hundred thousand words of autobiographical ‘Mobi’s Stories’ and ‘Vignettes’ along with a partially completed novel;
- I have found a new lady in my life, who has now been with me for over 7 months and is the dearest, sweetest, kindest and most considerate lady I have ever known in my long life.
- After suffering from severe depression which took me to the very edge of suicide in January 2010, I am now 5 months free of all anti-depressant drugs and while not always feeling ‘On top of the world,’ I have been completely free of what could be classed as clinical depression.
- I am slowly starting to turn my life around and get away from the vicious cycle of bars, booze and women.
- I have succeeded in remaining sober for over six months.
If I have really finally conquered my addiction to booze, and I admit it is a big ‘IF’ because it is still early days and anything may yet happen in the near future. But if I have, and personally, I am utterly convinced that I have now got this addiction by the balls, then it is questionable as to whether I should continue to write my blog.
The purpose of my blog, as stated on that very first day, was to write about my alcoholic life and how I try to deal with my daily addiction. In those early days I used to get a massive readership. It seemed as though many people were fascinated by my exploits and the almost daily disasters in my life. But now I have chalked up an extended period of sobriety and my life is no longer full of daily, titillating incidents, my readership is a shadow of what it used to be in my ‘hay day’.
I confess to having serious doubts about how much longer I will keep my blog going. I enjoy writing and find it very therapeutic, so for that reason I will not rush into closing it down, but I do admit to becoming ever more disillusioned with the level of readership. A month or so back,, it really appeared that I was making encouraging progress, with my average daily readership up more than 50%. But just lately, my readership seems to have fallen off alarmingly and the daily ‘hits’ are lower than they have ever been since I started writing this blog two years ago.
I blame no one but myself for this state of affairs. Obviously the lack of licentious adventures that used to pollute my daily life has been a big disappointment to many of my more sleaze-hungry readership. I have tried to keep the spirit of my blog going with saucy incidents of a lesser nature, but I guess that these, together with my more serious takes on world events are not ‘hitting the spot’ with my readers.
For whatever reason, there is now a big turn off and I seem to be running a sinking ship. Maybe I used to have more American readers than I thought, as no doubt many of those will have become disaffected following my frequent anti-American pieces.
Whatever the reason, I do not regret anything I have written and pretty much stand by a vast majority of the views and opinions I have expressed in this blog. If what I write is of no interest to the world at large, then there is little that I can do about it, except, I suppose to give up the unequal struggle.
But I will hang on for a while yet and just make sure that this isn’t a blip and hope that all my readers will come flooding back. I know that this is highly unlikely, but as I said, writing is still very therapeutic for me so I will soldier on for a few weeks more. If there are no signs of progress, then a convenient time for me to call it a day will be when I fly to the UK next month, in around 4 weeks’ time.
So if I see no encouraging signs in my daily blog readership by the time I pack my bags for the trip to the home country, then I shall also pack up my proverbial blogging bags at the same time.
If any of my readers have any thoughts on this matter, then I urge you to write to me, as it is only from reader feedback that I can judge whether I should be changing the style or content of my blogs or whether it is just a bit of a lost cause. If you do not wish your views to be published in my blog, then say so when you make your comment, and I will respect your wishes.
Bits and Bobs
The Casey Anthony trial.
The biggest trial in the USA since the OJ Simpson trial, is over and the entire country is in utter shock that Ms Anthony was found not guilty of killing her daughter, by a jury of her peers.
The first thing that immediately springs to mind is just how remarkable is this’ not guilty’ verdict, given that the Anthony has been tried by the nation’s media for the past three years and found to be as guilty as sin; yet the jury still was able to unanimously acquit her. There is a certain poetic justice here, in as much as despite the very best attempts by a highly biased media to effectively ‘nobble’ any prospective jury, they actually failed miserably. Strange ain’t it?
The other reflection that I, as a non-American observer, have on all this, is how, yet again, the entire media love to use hyperbole when they are talking about their legal system. I swear to God that if I have heard one TV pundit or reporter describe the American legal system as the ‘BEST in the world’, I must have heard dozens say it, hundreds of times.
Now if they had simply said that American has ‘one of the best systems in the world’ or that it is amongst the best or fairest in the world, then I wouldn’t have batted an eyelid.
But to claim that it is the BEST, when 95 % of their criminal cases are plea- bargained and never go to court, which means, by general consensus, that there are always a large number of innocent people serving prison sentences, and that some of their remand jails are more akin to Mad Max and the Thunderdome than to a civilised jail system in which prisoners awaiting trial are treated like human beings; and in a country where a majority of the Supreme court judges, who had previously reintroduced the death penalty in 1976, now admit they were wrong to do so because there have been far too many miscarriages of justice; then you have to at least wonder what sweet fuck all these media types are banging on about?
I wouldn’t even dream of claiming that the British legal system is the best and I doubt whether anyone would try to claim that the French or the Dutch or the Australian or the German systems are the best for that matter. I have no doubt that they all have their good and bad points. At least in Britain there is no trial by media. If just one single opinion is published or broadcast regarding the guilt or otherwise of a defendant in a pending court case, the perpetrator of such ‘contempt of court’ would be cooling his or her heels in Her Majesty’s prison.
‘America has the best justice system in the world!’ What a load of old tosh!
No wonder the general American population is so extremist, so supremacist and so blinkered in its views of the outside world – they are the victims of ‘24/7’ brain washing.
To write or not to write; that is the question…
Some schools in the USA have withdrawn the teaching of ‘how to write’ from their school curriculums. They have decided that the 21st century world has moved on to such an extent that it is no longer necessary for their kids to learn how to write by hand. They claim that there is no need, as all modern day writing is now carried out by using a keyboard.
If I make any comments on this mind-numbingly crass decision, I suspect I will be accused of being anti- American.☺
Are Mark Halperin and MSNBC dick heads?
Mark Halperin is Editor-at-large and senior political analyst for Time magazine, and senior political contributor to MSNBC, having previously worked for ABC News for nearly 20 years.
A couple of days ago, when discussing a recent briefing by Obama on the budget crisis, he told his MSNBC audience that Obama was a dick. He went on to say, on this pro Obama, pro Democrat TV network, that Obama was effectively ‘showboating’ and politicking, rather than behaving in a responsible, presidential manner and bringing the crisis to an end.
Subsequently, Halperin and MSNBC issued abject apologies for calling The Anointed One a dick.
Halperin was then suspended indefinitely by MSNBC.
The Point of Sex
Scientists have finally solved the riddle that has been puzzling mankind since the dawn of time.
What is the reason for sex between the male and the female of the species?
Research into worms has revealed that that animals reproduce together, rather than simply cloning themselves, because it helps them to ward off parasites. Experts at the University of Indiana may have provided evidence that after engineering two types of worms, some which could only reproduce by mating with each other and some could only clone themselves.
After exposing them to a harmful bacteria, worms that reproduced through sex survived fairly well while those that were asexual died rapidly.
Thank God for that! At long last, we all know why we all fuck each other. Makes me feel a whole heap better.☺
BUTT…BUTT…BUTT…I don’t give a hoot…