The Darkside Blogger is Mobi-Babbling and Post-bagging

5 Months, 25 Days, still sober.

Mobi-Babble

I have recently been harbouring feelings of guilt regarding  my frequent, ‘extra-curricular’ activities, and as a result I have been trying to behave myself and keep away from places of temptation. I did succeed in pretty much behaving myself for a few days, but being the fickle person that I am, yesterday I went totally crazy.

I don’t know what prompted my frenzied, sexual mayhem; maybe it was because Noo asked me if she could come back from school a little late as she wanted to drop by and see a friend. Or maybe I am just an old pervert who is feeling too horny for his own good.

Whatever the reason, I took off in the early afternoon, had a quick bite to eat and then went on a very long, ‘short time’ bar-hop, most of the time, accompanied by my fellow whore monger, the redoubtable Rick. At no single place did I have any less than two girls ministering to my every need, and in some places it was three, or even four lovely damsels. Even Rick ended up calling me crazy….

It was truly manic and I didn’t manage to drag myself home until around 9 pm when all of a sudden I felt totally exhausted. I don’t know what it was all about as although we came very close, at no place did I actually consummate a sexual act. It was just extreme titillation without any follow through.

At one particular establishment, Black Death, I came across the total embodiment of female sensuality. She was May, a lovely young thing, 20 years of age, who was walking around the pool area with a towel wrapped around her waist, exposing to full view, her wonderful, pert little breasts, with their little nipples pointing firmly upwards, probably feeling sexually stimulated by all the testosterone-filled, male attention. Naturally, I insisted that she join Mobi and my first little lady of choice, the sexy Bee, at our poolside table, whereupon she came over to me, breasts rippling in the breeze, and inserted them, one at a time, into my waiting mouth. She was a lovely thing and had a slim, almost perfect figure and a very pretty face. I was falling in love…..with May and Bee… Maybee! ☺

Enough of all that nonsense. When I eventually made it home, all those feelings of guilt surfaced once again, so I did something I haven’t done in a very long time. I had some midnight, (as opposed to morning), nuptials with my lovely Noo, and it was some of the best sex I have had in a very long time.

I will re-double my efforts to be a better, more faithful companion. Noo deserves nothing less, and it is hight time I started acting my age….

Until the next rush of blood to my ‘head’…..

Saturday Post Bag

From now on, as I am now  publishing my blog on alternate days, my weekly Postbag will either be on Friday or Saturday, depending on which of these two days I am writing my blog.

I confess to becoming a little weary of big skippy’s verbose responses to my ‘Yank baiting’ so I will no longer give him the pleasure of being able to read his replies in my main blog. After this little piece below, I won’t waste much time in trying to refute all the nonsense that he writes. Frankly, there’s not enough hours in the day. Anyway, you can still find all his stuff in the ‘comments section’, if any of you have a burning desire to read it. In the meantime, here is my ‘farewell blog address’ to the estimable skip-skip.

Skippy,

The only people who may be embarrassed by your transparent attempts to patronise me, are the poor citizens of the good old USA.

I really can’t be bothered to waste my time refuting your obfuscations and irrelevant retorts any longer, but please don’t take this is a sign that I agree with you or that I concede your points.

My Blog has to move onward and upwards and there is little to be gained by continuous, fractious discussions with insular, dare I say,’ brain washed’ Yanks, who just can’t see that their once great nation is slowly going down the toilet.

One thing is very clear: every time I have a ‘pop’ at the Yanks, which I always research and back by irrefutable facts,  you are determined to get ‘own back’ by having a ‘pop’ at the Brits. Did anyone ever tell you that ‘two wrongs don’t make a right’? In the world of debates, it is a very childish tactic, and in any respectable forum you would have been ruled out of order, again and again.

If I am criticising the Yanks, then defend your corner by showing me where I am wrong, not by attacking my home country – because, dear Skippy, you can attack  Britain till the cows come home, it’s all water off a ducks back to this ‘enlightened world citizen’ – I really don’t care. Britain is a total irrelevance and the days of the British Empire and Raj have long since faded into the sunset.

The USA is still the most powerful and richest nation on earth – although not for much longer – and people like me have every right to point out and warn, when we see the Yanks losing their way. What happens to America, affects us all; that is why we care and why we like to debate it.

If you wish to start a debate about the Brits; how bad they are, and how they have screwed up everything in the world, then why don’t you start your own blog or start a thread on any number of internet forums such as Thai Visa? It would be interesting to see how far you get and how much support you are able to muster for your views.

It is becoming evident that you Yanks are getting increasingly rattled by my blog.  A couple of days ago I received an abusive comment from another Yank who thinks that you, Skippy, ‘wipe the floor with me‘, every time you respond to my anti Yank comments and he suggests that I should stick to screwing whores. Well I will stick to screwing whores, but I will also continue to write whatever I see fit, including any critical comments I feel like making against the USA or any other country, for that matter.

It may surprise you and your fellow Yank readers to know that for most of my life I have been a fervent supporter of the USA and have continually defended them in an increasingly hostile, anti-American world. I know my history and I will always appreciate what they did for us in two world wars and I have believed that even when they committed major screw-ups, their heart was always in the right place.

It is only in very recent years, that you could say that I have started to ‘see the light’ and have gradually come to realise that America is not always what it seemed (to me) to be, and I was wrong in believing blindly in the altruistic  nature of many of their motives and foreign policy decisions.

Yes, I was a late comer to the party, but I got there in the end, and once my eyes were opened, I began to see that once great nation for what it is fast becoming, a politically corrupt, brain-washed, insular country of financial crooks and ‘power’ lobbies who are purely promoting and protecting their own self-interests – whether they are positioned on the right, the centre or the left. I have never seen America so divided by extremist, partisan politics, (liberal and conservative), so direction-less, so leaderless, so inept on the world stage and so blind to the fate that awaits them.

I have a dear, lifelong friend in the UK who is now a sprightly octogenarian. This man is well educated, well read and held  some very senior management jobs during his long and distinguished working life. Like me, he has been a lifelong Americanphile, (doesn’t seem to be such a word, I wonder why?), and has been to the USA countless times on holiday and even has close family living there. He loves all things American and has been a fervent supporter of the American way of life and all the wonderful things they have given to the world and, indeed, the good they have done for the world

I was on the phone to him the other day and you can imagine my surprise, when, with no prompting from me, he said sadly, ‘I’m afraid Mobi, that if the Yanks don’t get their act together soon, they are in real danger of becoming a third world country’. Yet another disillusioned,  ex-Yankee lover.

So Skippy, et al, prove us all wrong………

Now a comment from a guy called Axel Boldt, who writes on the subject of Britain and the EU.

I’m always amused (and confused) by Britons complaining about European integration.

First of all, nobody forces you to do anything. You joined the European club voluntarily, and you can leave tomorrow. It’s as if somebody joins a chess club and then keeps complaining about the rules of chess. Open a checkers club instead!

Second, the Human Rights Act of 1998 has absolutely nothing to do with the EU. It implements the European Convention on Human Rights (drafted by an Englishman) which comes from the Council of Europe (co-founded by the UK). Nobody forced you to found that Council, to agree to the European Convention or to pass that act, but your parliament freely elected to do all these things. What is there to complain about?

Third, every EU law is passed unanimously by the Council of Ministers. Your UK government has agreed to every single one of the ridiculous rules you list. So what do you complain about? I don’t get it.

My response:

Um…err…

‘ It’s as if somebody joins a chess club and then keeps complaining about the rules of chess. Open a checkers club instead!’ …

I assume you are joking. To compare a nation joining the EU to someone joining a chess club is so ridiculous that I won’t bother to respond to it. Maybe we should ask Cameron to write a brief letter of resignation to the EU secretary in Brussels, while at the same time writing a note to our former Commonwealth friends to advise them that we are starting a new trade zone and would they like to join us. RSVP, if interested. ☺☺

Yes, ‘nobody forced us to join’. But we did, and have been reaping the negative benefits ever since. So just because at some point in our history, our political masters made the mistake of joining the EU, it means that we have no right to complain about the appalling and unfair way we are treated and of all the ridiculous, petty, bureaucratic rules that are imposed on us?  What tosh!

Remember, many of these rules were imposed by an unelected European parliament and were never passed by our own, sovereign government in England. If most British citizens ever had any true conception of what they were getting into, they would never have agreed to it. Government after government, has realised this, which is why they will never permit a new referendum on the subject.

You are correct that the Council of Europe, as opposed to the EU, passed the Human Rights Act and I apologise for misleading my readers. However, the two organisations are so closely entwined, that it is sometimes difficult to know where the Council of Europe ends and where the EU begins. I include some extracts from the EU’s own publication on this subject:

“Since 1992, the EU and the Council of Europe have implemented over 180 laws in areas such as human rights, democracy and the rule of law in countries bordering the EU. The two organisations also work together on issues such as intercultural dialogue and cultural diversity.

The framework for the relationship between the two bodies was defined during several exchanges of letters between the two organisations. Today, high level meetings – called Quadripartite meetings – are held twice a year. There, the EU Presidency, the European Commission, the Chairman and Secretary General of the Council of Europe exchange information and views on their programmes, mutual interests and joint activities.

A Memorandum of Understanding signed in 2007, (between the EU and the Council of Europe), confirms that the Council of Europe is the benchmark in Europe for human rights, the rule of law and democracy. It also underlines the need for coherence between the legal norms of both organisations in the field of human rights…”.

 

I think this humble blogger can be forgiven for getting a trifle confused…

Here’s a little request from a guy called MSB.

A couple of weekends ago I spent time driving around the Lake and the “Darkside”, having never ventured that way before. I did get a bit lost but I noticed only two bars but none looked open or worth stopping.

Of course you are using pseudonyms for the bars for a good reason but any chance of giving some easy directions (ie idiots guide) on how to get around the Lake/Darkside area when driving from Bangkok direction into Pattaya?

BTW Didn’t look to be much water in the Lake…….

Here are Mobi’s definitive directions…

When approaching Pattaya via the route 7 motorway, take the left fork towards Rayong along highway 36 instead of continuing straight into Pattaya on the new motorway extension.

Shortly after you get onto the route 36 ‘proper’, you will see a very large PTT gas station on your left. Just past this is a U-turn in the centre of the road which is sign-posted to Naklua. Do a U-turn and immediately go to the nearside (left) of the dual carriageway and take the left fork left down the side road that runs alongside a bridge overpass .  As soon as you get on this road, you are in Tambon Pong, and you will drive past the local market (on the left) and Wat Pong (on the right). Continue down this local road until you reach a T-junction. Turning right here will take you down to Sukhumvit and Naklua, but turning left will take you to Lake Mabprachan. This T-junction is less than five minutes’ drive from the Rayong highway U-turn.

So take a right and you will shortly go over a small bridge and the lake will appear on your right hand side. The road will  take you right around the lake, from north to south and you will pass many bars, restaurants, motels, shops, mini-markets and goodness  knows what else on your journey. About a five minute drive will find you at the other end of the lake and if you continue along the same road you will be in Siam Country club Road which will take you straight down to the main Sukhumvit Road, near Pattaya Klang.

Of course there are many bars and restaurants on the Darkside area which do not face the Lake, and in particular there are dozens of sois crammed with activity on the far, south side of the lake; Soi Nern Plub Wan, Soi Kow Noi and Soi Kow Talow, (all of which have their sources in Sukhumvit road, stretching from Pattaya Klang to Jomtien), to name but three. Plus, there are great numbers of sub-sois all over the place which can sometimes surprise you and delight you.

It is much easier to drive around the Lake during the day time as this part of East Pattaya is truly  The Darkside once dusk falls, but the problem is, that during daylight hours, most of the bars are pretty dead, many completely closed, until late afternoon, early evening.

The Darkside is not a place you can become familiar with in one day or even on a long weekend. You have to spend weeks and months there and even then you will only know a small part of it. For me, I never stop learning about new places to go and new whores to play with.

The ‘Greater Darkside Area ’ is not part of Pattaya City proper and encompasses an area bordered by Naklua in the North  and Jomtien in the south, and runs eastwards from Sukhumvit Road, right up to the 36 Rayong highway, and  covers the local districts (tambons) of Pong and Nongprue. Check it out on a map.

But for those who wish to try it out; then welcome to the Darkside!

BTW, there’s plenty of water in the lake, so I’m not too sure where you ended up but it couldn’t have been Lake Mabprachan.

And now from one of my longest serving readers, Rebel. I was surprised and pleased to hear from Rebel, after such a long silence, especially as I had assumed that most of my American readers had probably deserted me in disgust due to my anti-yank diatribes.

Anyway, here is Rebel’s comment

Last weekend I drove with my brother from So. California to Las Vegas and back. On the way there we saw a BMW broke down on the side of the road. My brother who drives all over California for his job stated he sees BMW on the side of the road all the time, just an off the cuff observation. The timing of your blog made me think there maybe something to his and your statements as to the reliability of the newer BMW models . We were in a 2011 Honda Accord Crosstour, very comfortable vehicle for what it’s worth.

Here is my reply,

Three and half years ago I was actually was 99% sold on the idea of buying a Honda Accord, having test driven one and having been very impressed. Then on a whim, I drove to the Chon Buri BMW dealer, and had a look at what was available. The dealer owner insisted that I take out  a new 320d out for a test drive and the rest is history. The Accord was a great car, but the beamer was superb, and at that time, I was still pretty flush with money. So as money was no object, I decided to indulge my fantasy and get the beamer. By the time it was delivered, some six months hence, the world financial markets were collapsing and my pot of gold was starting to drip away, rapidly, but the die was cast and there was no turning back.

I must say that I have had a tremendous amount of fun with this car – it really does go like a bomb as the turbo charger kicks in. It is even faster when I use the ‘techtronic-type’ manual gears. Put your foot down from a standing start and you get that Mach G feeling, and seconds later, on an open road, you can be cruising at 200kms per hour in in a cabin so quiet, you can hear a whisper. It really is a wonderful machine and a delight to drive.

I have been all over Thailand in it, from Chiang Mai and Nong Kai in the North, down to Phuket and beyond in the south and have made countless, effortless journeys to and from the ‘big mango’ in just over the hour. The incredible acceleration has got me out of many a scrape and it has also proven its worth in overtaking on single track roads. Although only a three series, it is surprisingly roomy at the back and can accommodate three adult farangs quite comfortably, and the boot (trunk) is also much roomier than you might expect. But it is small enough to drive easily down narrow sois and parking is a dream, especially with its PDF system.

The brakes are incredible and the run-flat tyres have proven their worth when I have had the occasional tyre deflation due to bad road maintenance. The car carries a 100,000 kms unlimited warranty except for brakes and tyres and BMW will rescue you from wherever you happen to be in Thailand, free of charge and tow you to the nearest approved dealer.

Now for the bad news.

The tyres are bloody expensive and I have been less than impressed with the dealer’s service team at Chon Buri, which for starters, is an inconvenient 50 minutes odd drive from where I live. I admit to having had a number of ‘run-ins’ with their service people, when they invariably fail to keep their promises and assurances regarding when my car will be fixed and ready for collection and I have had to return several times to have the same  problem sorted.

Trips to the dealer have been expensive and time wasting as I either have to sit in the show room for an entire day, waiting for them to work on my car, or, more often than not, I have to leave it for a day or two, which means I have to rent a car and also have to find someone to accompany me to deliver and collect. There are only two people in the entire dealership who speak English, (the owner and service manager, his leuk kreung son), and often neither is around to deal with me and I have to struggle with my basic Thai, talking to people who seem determined to not understand me and make life as difficult and be as uncooperative as they can. Considering that every time I go there I notice that at least 50% of the customers are farangs, I do find this lack of English-speaking staff quite peculiar, especially given that dealers like Honda and Toyota always have a handful of staff on hand who can speak passable English.

I have recently recounted the on-going problems I have been experiencing over the past six months with the on-board computer and stereo system, (they intermittently go off and on , often accompanied by load knocking noises in the roof) and my eventual, somewhat reluctant decision to complain to the BMW Head office in Bangkok.

In my blog of 17th June I wrote that after I had submitted my written complaint,  the dealer’s staff had been to my home once and after an annoying, unexplained delay they were about to return and finally replace the errant part. Well, I can now report that this was duly installed about a week ago, but within 24 hours I was called by the service manager to advise that he now didn’t believe that the replaced part (a computer cable) was the problem and that he would need to return and replace the entire ‘head unit’ in the dashboard. Sure enough, shortly after he called, the problem returned and I notified BMW, who came back yet again and have now replaced the whole unit. This was about 3 days ago, so fingers crossed; the problem is finally at an end.

As for reliability, it’s really difficult to say. I was speaking to a German guy the other day who is in the motor parts business, and was asking him why it was that BMW in Thailand didn’t maintain a stock of spare parts in the country. This guy is no fan of BMW, (in fact he told me I was foolish to buy one), but he said the reason why they didn’t bother to maintain stock here was because these days, BMW’s were so reliable and rarely had problems! So who knows?

Anyway, all being well, I will probably keep the car for another year and then, while it still has a decent bit of mileage left on the warranty, I will probably trade it in for something a bit more modest. But you never know…..

BUTT…BUTT…I don’t really give a hoot!!

10 thoughts on “The Darkside Blogger is Mobi-Babbling and Post-bagging”

  1. More to those rural folk of Blighty than I expected. Rural Mid Wales you say? A Brit colleague mentioned that parts of Kentucky, Tennessee and W. Virginia are nice facsimiles of the Scottish Highlands.

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  2. Rural folk from Blighty? Yeah, Me.
    Ever seen a film called the deliverance? You wanna see my cousin mate……..
    As close to a documentary about Rural Mid Wales as ever could you wish. Exept its American…..
    Roysten vasey? If only life was that simple……

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  3. Big Skippy,
    The rural folks of Blighty, eh?. Methinks you’ve watched too many reruns of An American Werewolf in London. It’s only a movie you know.

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  4. Hmm. Seems like you are violating your own policy about ad hominem attacks?

    In any event, nowhere have I said that the US is free from guilt for the world’s problems – just that the Brits have been willing accomplices along the way (and, thanks to their colonial misadventures, planted the seeds to today’s woes in the middle east).

    However, since China will soon be the world’s economic and military superpower, I look forward to your rants on Chinese land distribution policies, the potential middle-income gap, the hukou residency system, maritime policies in the south china sea, etc.

    Where did I go where I ran across insular Brits? Well, Yorkshire (along with most of the northeast) seems to have its fair share, with Cornwall and Devon having quite a few gems as well.

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    1. “Where did I go where I ran across insular Brits? Well, Yorkshire (along with most of the northeast) seems to have its fair share”

      Like I said : Royston Vasey

      Note, (for those who may be ignorant of our proud British heritage):

      The town has a sign which declares “Welcome to Royston Vasey. You’ll never leave!” The first building the visitor comes across is the “local shop”, located on a lonely hillside moor. The town itself is some distance from the local shop, which is accessed by a small hill track and a new railway line.
      A Local Book for Local People, describes Royston Vasey’s history in a brochure, from its beginnings, as mentioned in an appendix to the Domesday Book as “an hutte with a pigge outside” to the construction of the town hall in the late 1930s, as designed by Albert Speer.
      Several of the town’s most prominent landmarks include the Local Shop, an angelic war memorial, H.Briss & Son Butchers, the Windermere B&B, and the local Job Centre.

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  5. “Remember, many of these rules were imposed by an unelected European parliament and were never passed by our own, sovereign government in England. ”

    Oh my. Unless you’re talking about the European Parliament prior to 1979 you might want to check your facts on this one.

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    1. Um err… I can’t be bothered because I lived through the Thatcher years in the UK in the 80’s when a large degree of sovereignty was finally sacrificed after the Maastricht Treaty was signed, (circa 1992).

      Prior to this, Britain was obliged to accept many stupid laws – and yes many do pre-date 1979 – either without any input at all, or possibly approved by the European Parliament in which British Members may have voted against them and in any event, had no power of veto. In other words, the EU bureaucrats could pass whatever laws they saw fit, whether we, the British agreed or not.

      At the end of the day it matters not who, if anyone in the UK knew, or even approved these stupid laws, the fact remains that a vast majority of the British public abhor them and had no idea that such nonsense was being foisted on them, behind their back.

      Debate closed//.

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  6. “please don’t take this is a sign that I agree with you or that I concede your points.”

    It gets weary to read what amounts to a page or two of text from someone who comments on your blog? Surely someone with such a sharp mind can do better than that, Mobi – despite the fact that I take exception with much of what you write I do believe you are extremely intelligent, especially when compared to the dregs that inhabit Pattaya. It takes all of ten minutes to read your posts and compose a response. Given the lack of other comments, surely you have the time to review my brief and hardly verbose replies.

    “every time I have a ‘pop’ at the Yanks, which I always research and back by irrefutable facts, . ”

    Nearly every post contains at least one incorrect fact. For example, how about the gross mischaracterization of Operation Celestial Balance (you got the objective completely wrong), Toyota’s massive recalls from within Japan, your attempted analogy between the brits disgrace at Dunkirk with the US withdraw from Vietnam. The list goes on and on. . .

    “In the world of debates, it is a very childish tactic, and in any respectable forum you would have been ruled out of order, again and again.”

    Really? Would you consider the Royal Courts of Justice back in Blighty to be a “respectable forum”? If so, then this type of childish debate is exactly what is presented to their judges. Namely, a plaintiff (Mobi) makes his case, the defendant (your readers) finds fault with plaintiff’s case by attacking plaintiff’s evidence and introducing his own. The process goes back and forth.

    “If you wish to start a debate about the Brits; how bad they are, and how they have screwed up everything in the world’ . . .”

    I have neither the time nor inclination to start a debate about the Brits. However, I do find it ironic (a concept which I seem to have a better grasp of than your other contributor, TT – as there is no “irony” in your posts) that some Brits such as yourself seem to absolve themselves of all the bad that the US is doing in the world, especially when it comes to Iraq and Afghanistan. Britain is hardly as irrelevant as you might like to think in such matters, as it still likes to consider itself a player on the world stage and inserts itself in one way or another in most of the major world disputes of the day. Look at the lead role it has taken along with France with respect to Libya – four months on now and no resolution. As a permanent member of the security counsel with veto-wielding ability it can hardly claim that it’s no longer relevant unfortunately.

    “a politically corrupt, brain-washed, insular country of financial crooks and ‘power’ lobbies who are purely promoting and protecting their own self-interests”

    Oh my, this has been the case since the founding of the republic! It is hardly recent news. Again, though, it’s no different from what has occurred in the UK since the time of the industrial revolution (a major influence for the likes of Dickens and the deplorable conditions throughout the UK as he described) through the more recent House of Lords “cash for amendments”, the “cash for honors” scandal, the parliamentary expense scandal from a couple of years ago.

    I have the pleasure of spending about two months a year in London. On the rare visit outside the city it is amazing how quickly the level of sophistication drops off and brain-washed insularity takes over. The UK’s rural folks give the good people of Savannah a run for their money.

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    1. You are becoming ever more verbose, probably matching your ever increasing anger, self righteous indignation and bellicosity.

      Why don’t you start you own blog where you can fill it with articles about how great America is and how Britain is such a rubbish country?

      You could call it: ‘My name is Skippy, (Fiddling while Washington crashes and burns) Nero, I’m a Flat Earthing, Brit bashing American; The life and times of a myopic Yank who believes the troubles of the world are everyone’s else fault but America’s’……

      BTW, that has to be the joke of the century – the Brits are as insular as the Yanks!! Where exactly did you go? Royston Vasey?

      Debate closed//.

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  7. Mobi,
    Don’t stop winding the Yanks up – they bite every time!. Irony it seems, is not taught in their school of life. However, I can count on a couple of US guys who I know to always, always bring an outright laugh to the table with their observations : They’d do very well in Glaswegian pubs. Top guys. Both however started travelling at an early age in a professional capacity and are I think more worldly wise than so many of their countryfolks. And once having spent a month with work in Savannah, well, there is an alternative universe and it’s scary.

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