The Darkside is all Awash with Mobi’s Friday Post Bag….

5 Months 3 Days – still sober

Mobi’s Friday  Post Bag….

Today’s Blog is all about ‘Comments’ – my blog ‘Post-Bag’

A few of my readers have asked me where they can find the comments made on my blog and my subsequent responses that I sometimes refer to .

If you look at the top left hand column of my daily blog you will see the number of comments that have been left, (if any), and you can click to read them. Comments made about each blog entry, remain attached to that entry, including any subsequent follow-ups or replies. So, for example, if you want to read the comment written about my post about ‘The brassy bar with the un-brassy whores’, you will need to go to my post of 31st May and click on that particular day’s ‘comment’ link.

From time to time, I also publish some of the comments on the main face of my blog, together with my responses, so here today are a few of the recent ones.

On,The brassy bar with the un-brassy whores

I have already published the original comment in my blog of the 31st May, and my reply thereto, but I have now received two further comments from the owner of this establishment, which are:







And …


My response:

It might have been a good idea for you to have covered over the part of your sign that read ‘Restaurant’, until such time as food was indeed available. In addition, it might have also been good sense for you to have put up a temporary sign in a prominent position to the effect that:

 ‘Sorry, the restaurant is not yet open but the management will be happy to arrange a take-out order from a nearby establishment. Please bear with us during this opening period…’ …or words to that effect.

I have got news for you. You will never know how many people saw your place, decided to stop for a meal and then went away disappointed, many never to return. They will never tell you and you will never know, and on the Darkside, you need every customer you can get hold of, for, as a bunch, they are extremely fickle.

Trust me, your honeymoon period will come to an end and then you will wonder what you did to lose all your regulars.

You will also never know how many customers, apart from Mobi, got pissed off when they found how much you charge for a lady’s drink. They will never tell you – only Mobi is prepared to speak out and one day you may thank me.

As for paying for my drinks and buying me a meal; well I must thank you for your kind offer, but you don’t seem to understand that wining and dining Mobi is not going to make your problems go away. You seem to think that everything can be solved by paying out some cash. I am simply not interested in free drinks and food, especially from a place that I have been critical of. It would clearly compromise my independence as a blogger who is trying to truthfully tell his readers the way he sees things – from both far and near.

As for ‘hiding behind my keyboard’ –well that’s what bloggers and journalists do. They go out, they observe, they experience they participate and they research, and then they go back to their keyboards and write about their experiences and offer their opinions. I am just a regular bloke who writes a blog under a pseudonym. A few close friends know my true identity but most do not – for very obvious reasons. If you are unsure why I do not use my real name, just read some of my blog….

If my identity is ‘outed’, it would not be the end of the world and I could quite happily live with it, but it is not something I would particularly encourage.

It actually saddens me that you may know my true identity for you can have only learned of it through one source – the alcoholic blabber-mouth who drinks at your place 3-4 days a week and drives home so effing drunk that he can barely see the road. This guy used to be my trusted friend, hence he knows my nick name, but for a long time now, his massive daily intake of alcohol, (he drinks from early morning until he passes out in late evening), has turned him into a rambling, incoherent, nasty, vicious  drunk of the worst possible type. He seems to derive great pleasure in passing on any information he can gather about me to my estranged wife, (she is a friend of his wife), as well as spreading much malicious, untrue gossip about me. I honestly maintain that I have never done one thing to deserve this special treatment from him, except to stand up to him when he chose to shout and swear at me in public without any provocation whatsoever.

This is another reason why I will never go to your establishment, as I have no desire to have any further confrontations with this revolting, tedious, drunken ancient ‘has-been’. Life’s too short.

Anyway, ‘Brasshouse’, I am happy to hear that your restaurant is now open and thank you once again for your kind offer, but must regretfully decline. This debate seems to have run its course – I have made my point and you have responded, so shall we leave it at that?

You probably won’t believe me, but I do wish you well and I hope you succeed in your endeavour. No one would be happier than I to find that you prove me wrong and you still have a flourishing business going in two years’ time.

Good luck my friend…


On the same subject,  I received this comment from a reader called: ‘TotheBarWitU’

Sounds like Mobi fancies himself an expert at the bar business in good ole’ dark side Chonburi. I think with all the advice and critique of the local haunts it’s about time we get a new bar opened under management of the bar stool expert himself.

Free management advice if anyone names there new bar “Mobi’s Road to Excess Bar and Grill!”

What say you Mobi? About time you issue a challenge to the local wanna bees.

Here is my reply:

Well, having been involved business at many levels for most of my working life, including a spell of nearly ten years in Thailand in a variety of businesses, I certainly have a good amount of business ‘nous’ and common sense that can be more or less applied to any business you care to name.

Add this the fact that, as you quite rightly state, there can be few who have spent more time in more bars than this self-appointed ‘bar stool expert’.

A few years back, my then wife asked me to invest in her plans to start up a rubber plantation upcountry. I asked her for a few details of the costs involved and other details and it soon became clear that she knew very little other than the fact that there was ‘a lot of money to be made.’ I asked her if she had prepared a business plan and she looked at me in astonishment and not a little anger.

‘Thais don’t need business plans! We are not farangs! We just work out everything as we go along – This is Thailand, not England – we do our business in a different way to you!

In that case, I told her, I am not interested in investing. Later, I made a few enquiries and Googled some Thai sites on the rubber business here and found some very detailed information, mostly in the Thai language – some government sponsored – that provided a wealth of information on this business. I gently nudged my wife to look at these web sites, and before I knew it, she was reading intently, downloading pages and pages and even calling contact numbers to get more information.

To cut a long story short, about three months later, my wife became a bit of an expert on the rubber business. She knew what was required at every stage of the process, the likely costs involved and even where to source her materials. Once I was satisfied that the business plan was sound, I agreed to make an investment. Now, several years down the line, the maturing trees will soon be ready to ‘tap’ and she will have a thriving little business for her and her family up-country to live off into their old age. I will not see a penny of this, but I am happy that I was able to do this for her, although she has told me on several recent occasions, that once her rubber business starts making money, she will be happy to support me if ‘I ever ‘fall on hard times….

I wonder how many farangs who have decided to open bars in Thailand have even put pen to paper to work out such matters as the total investment required, (including working capital until the business starts to turn a profit), the real operating costs, (including a large wage bill to attract the best girls and bar staff), income projections, so on and so forth. I wonder if any of them even tried to work out the possible ROI – Return on investment – and whether they wouldn’t be have been better off putting their little nest egg into offshore bonds or some other, much safer investment. (I doubt whether most of them even know what an ROI is.)

But apart from the pure ‘business’ aspects, there is the need to have previous experience in this kind of business, which would include knowing how to manage Thai staff and dealing with all the myriad ‘cultural’ issues that they will have to deal with on a day to day basis – anything from bribing the BIB to ensuring that a spirit house is erected and properly respected.

Managing staff in Thailand require very special skills and it doesn’t matter whether they are bar girls, manual workers, or engineers with a string of degrees after their names – they still need to be managed very skilfully or you will be forever in crisis mode. Ask any farang who has been involved in business here and he will confirm what I am saying.

As for thinking that they can manage these people without speaking the language; well frankly they are living in cloud cuckoo land. The number of times I have been in a bar and listen into the staff chatting about how stupid their farang owner is and how easy it is to cheat him and lie to him.

Then you have to know how to attract the punters and retain them. I could go on and on, but then I would be revealing all my secrets.

So yes, I think I do have a pretty good appreciation on what it would take to run a successful bar on The Darkside, and who knows – one day – I might even give it a try. But frankly I doubt it, as first and foremost I don’t need the  money and in any event, after all these years I have learned that it is extremely unwise for any farang to invest any money in a business in this country unless he is fully prepared to lose it. There are just too many pitfalls for even the canniest of farang businessmen, let alone these idiots who fancy themselves as bar owners.

But just in case one day I do one day decide to ‘take the plunge’, I will keep my thoughts to myself on: ‘How to run a successful Darkside bar without really trying….


Now to my recent blog on the subject of the number of foreigners employed by the BBC.

‘Greasemonkey’ had this to say:

Wanna know why people from the Indian subcontinent are dominating the BBC? Same reason all types of foreigners are dominating all aspects of life in the UK. They are ambitious, talented and well qualified.

Unlike the social security bred Muppets that form the bulk of the home-grown working stock in the UK.

Bring on the foreigners, we need ‘em……

To which I replied:

If you are correct about the domination of ‘foreigners’, then I too will applaud it. I see nothing wrong with a good healthy injection of hard working and ambitious immigrants into the mix of stale, lazy, ‘welfare-state loving’ Brits.

We’ll probably end up like the Yanks, where nearly all the experts – from medicine to rocket science – all seem to have foreign accents.

I remain unconvinced though, as the BBC is well known for its extreme left wing bias and I somehow suspect that the preponderance of foreigners on their network has as much to do with political correctness and positive discrimination, than any desire to hire the ‘best man for the job’.

Having said that, I do concede that some, but by no means all, the ‘ foreign imports’ are pretty good at their job. So right now, I think your case remains unproven.


Finally, a small comment from one of my most faithful followers, the ever- present ‘PholoenMobi’. Here is what he said on the subject of my disgusting extra curriculars….

Hey Mobi,

Enjoying the blog and reports of your go-go bar crawling. I have to say though, could be a dangerous spot, reassuring Noo of your love while almost daily caressing the enjoying the paid attentions of quite a number of the local bg’s.

If it were me, I’d be careful, the grapevine has a way of growing.

My reply,

You worry too much.

If you were over here you would understand that an Issan girl who was working in Pattaya for a mere 18 months and now lives on the Darkside is actually quite isolated from the friends and punters she once associated with.

If I was still living in my Jomtien Condo, then the risk would be far higher that she would eventually catch me out, but over here, she doesn’t even know where most of my haunts are, let alone anyone who works there. She is not particularly gregarious and only has a few friends – all of whom live and work in Pattaya – a long way from where I tend to ‘operate’.

Actually she did see me sitting with a girl one day outside a bar on the lakeside, but it wasn’t a big deal. I was with a couple of friends and we were just buying them some drinks – no hanky panky. No cuddles or kisses ….Well I ask you? Would I do such a thing in a public place???

But I don’t give a hoot! 

(With apologies to the one and only Trink……)


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