The “Home” page is my daily blog. The remaining tabs contain previously blogged, episodic ‘stories’, which are now re-published in chronological order.
Yet another gap of several days since my last post.
I’m sorry about this, but if I am not in the mood to write, then I don’t. I know many of you have exhorted me just to put down a few lines so that you know I am still alive. I haven’t deliberately ignored this request but some days I find it difficult to write even a few lines and other days I can write for hours and never get bored or experience ‘writer’s cramp’. So I will do my best to update my ever- dwindling band of faithful followers as regularly as possible, but can make no promises.
One reason that I may be blogging less in the immediate future is due to my recent decision to turn my autobiographical stories and ‘vignettes’ into a novel.
I recently had an interesting exchange of emails with Stephen Leather, the bestselling author and in particular, author of “Private Dancer”. You may recall that I criticised Stephen’s writing in my blog and he commented to the effect that “if you have nothing good to say about someone, say nothing”. I took this to heart as, on occasion, I have been personally quite hurt by some highly critical comments written about me on my blog. I now realise that I was doing exactly the same thing to someone else. I also confess that much of my criticism was probably more the result of envy than any deeply held views on the quality of Stephen’s writing, and I told him as much in an email.
I must say that Stephen is a person of generous spirit and he was extremely kind to me in his reply. He has suggested that my blog writing can be turned into a novel, and after deliberating with some close friends, whose opinions I respect and will always ‘give it to me straight’, I have decided to give it a go.
This means that there will be no more ‘Mobi Vignettes’ for the time being, but in the fullness of time, I may start publishing completed chapters of the novel in a special section on my blog.
I will try to keep my blog going, but there may be less of it than there has been in the past. As my ‘alter- ego’ “Snot Ass” has suggested, whatever I decide to do, my life will always be full of adventure of one sort or another, so there will probably always be something of interest to write about.
In my last blog I reported that Wan would be returning to Roi Et last Thursday and would return sometime this week after putting her son in school for the start of the new term. As it turned out I dropped them at the bus station last Wednesday morning and once again found myself alone. At this point I had been sober for almost a week and was feeling pretty good, but no sooner did I find myself alone that the desire to have a drink immediately surfaced and I was off to the races.
I ended up in one of my favourite short time bars on the Darkside and had a pretty good time with two ladies who helped me get right roaring pissed.
Thursday was more of the same. I started at another of my favourite ‘watering holes’ downing copious amounts of beer with friends, before adjourning to yet another whore house for more fun and merriment.
Friday, I was feeling pretty bad for most of the day but eventually pulled myself together to drive around the lake to have a few beers in a bar where the owner was celebrating his birthday. I really wasn’t in the mood and left after a couple of beers to a quiet bar, further around the lake. Here, all the girls had been commandeered by a party of wealthy Thais who had driven down from Siam Country club and were seemingly ‘slumming it’ at a farang bar. They were ensconced at a dilapidated wooden table, buying rounds of drinks for the girls and themselves like there was no tomorrow.
This didn’t stop the girls from dallying by a semi- drunk Mobi, who was all alone in propping up the bar, on their way to and from the table; inveigling yet more drinks from Mobi, in return for a brief cuddle, before returning to the rich Thais at the table.
This was getting me nowhere, except emptying my wallet, so I cashed up, (they actually tried to rip me off on the bill but for once I spotted it), and moved yet further around the lake to a small bar I had not patronised for several weeks. Previously, I had been quite keen on a young lady there but had decided that she was too ‘innocent’ for the hoary old Mobi and had crossed her off my list.
You can imagine my surprise when I was swept off my feet by the girl in question who had spotted my car arriving and seemed genuinely overcome to see me again. She half cried and half laughed as she grasped me around the waist and virtually dragged me to a seat by the bar and wouldn’t let go.
She wasWei – a 25 year old from Bangkok. Her elder sister, (an overt ‘butch’ lesbian), and her aunt also worked at the bar. The only other working girl was her sister’s lesbian girl friend, a much older woman, but at least she looked very feminine.
Wei had been working at the bar for a couple of months. She had never been with a customer and claimed she was a virgin. She had been studying at university in Bangkok but had been forced to flee the city when her sister had been unable to send her sufficient money to pay off a Chinese money lender who had loaned her money to pay her school fees. She was a very pretty young thing and everything about her suggested that she was telling me the truth. I had listened to her conversations with her sister in Thai and all this reinforced my belief that she was being honest with me. I don’t think I have ever seen such a shy, introverted girl working at a bar, and she didn’t speak one word of English.
Over time, I had managed to forge a good friendship with her which had resulted in her asking me to take her out of the bar. She would come and live with me as my girl friend. I had previously decided that the whole business was a bit too much for me to take on and thus had sent her a nice sms telling her: ‘sorry, but I must decline’.
So last Friday, Wei redoubled her efforts to persuade me to take her to my home and I must confess that the idea was very appealing. She said that her sister could come as well and between the two of them they would look after me, take care of the house and do all the cooking. It was a very tempting offer, so I told her I would think about it.
Saturday was another strange day. Another one of my ex girl friends, Tukta, contacted me and asked if she could come and see my new home. Feeling hung over and lonely, I agreed and I went to Soi Kow Talo to pick her up. It was good to see her again and she loved the house. She has been calling me ever since but I have decided I don’t want her back in my life. She is a very sexy young lady and we have great sex together, but she really is a ‘goodtime bar girl’ and sooner or later I know she will let me down.
On Sunday I had a call from yet another ‘old flame’. Young Tan, who had broken my heart so badly earlier this year, was also interested in giving my house to ‘once over’ so on Sunday night I picked her up from her room and brought her round for a night’s fun.( It was very fortuitous that Dear Wan was back home in Roi Et.)
We watched TV for a while and then Tan told me she wanted to go to bed Anticipating an exciting night’s sex, I took her into the bedroom, offered her a clean towel to take a shower, but she declined. She crashed fully clothed onto my bed and was immediately in a deep sleep. I left her to it and went back to watch my TV programme, crashing next to the fully clothed Tan about 2 hours later.
Tan didn’t stir all night, and when I arose, at 10 a.m. she was still fast asleep. She eventually appeared just before noon and asked me to run her home as she had to go to work a 1 p.m. I was happy to oblige but when I dropped her off, I was hoping that she wouldn’t try and touch me up for some money, as on the previous evening she had been telling me all about her financial problems. If she had fucked me I would have been more than willing to pay her the going rate, but there was no way she would get anything from me for the dubious pleasure of sleeping fully clothed, for over 12 hours in my bed.
Thankfully she didn’t say a word and I drove away quickly, realising that at long last I had put the lid on that particular relationship.
Two hours later she called me. She asked me if I would be seeing her again. I told her that I might go and see her at her restaurant where she was working. Then came the killer. She asked me if I would lend her 4,500 Baht as she had to pay an instalment on her loan that day and she was desperate. I asked her why she couldn’t pay it from her salary which was due that day. She said that she had to use her salary to repay a loan to a friend who she had borrowed from a month earlier. I told her that I was very sorry but that I couldn’t lend her the money. She politely thanked me and rung off. I doubt I will be hearing from her again.
On Monday, yesterday, I saw my therapist in Pattaya and then ran around all day running errands and doing shopping. It was my third day of sobriety and I felt pretty good. I went to see Wei in the evening for about an hour, but I resisted the temptation to have a drink.
I am still unsure about Wei; I had a long talk to my therapist about Wan and Wei and his advice was to stick with Wan. I told him that I had no emotional attachment to her and we never had sex. He told me that he had a friend who had a very similar ‘live in’ and it worked very well. I admitted that I felt much more at peace when she was with me, I slept extremely well and the desire to drink was substantially reduced. She also has these commitments in Roi Et which means she will be travelling there quite frequently, leaving me to sow a few ‘wild oats’ when she is away. My therapist observed that it could work out to be the perfect relationship for me. I am inclined to think that he could very well be correct.
Today, Tuesday is my fourth day of sobriety. I feel good – in body and mind. Maybe I can make it stick, but even if I don’t, it is my therapist’s view that I have it more or less under control now. I have few, if any, wild binges; I seem to know when to stop and most important of all, I don’t drink every day. Anyway for me, right now, I feel so good that I don’t want to spoil it by taking a drink.
Last night Wan called me and told me she would probably be coming back on Friday. She told me that she has decided to drive her own car back as she can’t take any more bus journeys. That would be quite something – a girl friend with her own car. It will be the first one since my last wife!!!!