The “Home” page is my daily blog. The remaining tabs contain previously blogged, episodic ‘stories’, which are now re-published in chronological order.
Despite recent rumours, talk of my demise is a little premature.
I can assure those of you who are still following my vicarious existence, that I am alive and well, albeit slightly overweight.
Why the long silence? Well I do have a habit of doing this from time to time. This time I just felt that I needed a bit of a break.
What’s been happening in the life of Mobi over the past couple of weeks or so?
Nothing too sensational – just the usual fun, frolics and drunken incidents.
I am still drinking, although for the most part in controlled moderation. I did have 3 or 4 binges which led me to feeling pretty bad the next day, but even those paled into insignificance when compared to some of the great Mobi binges of the past.
My new medication has an unfortunate (or maybe fortunate) effect when mixed with alcohol. It increases my state of intoxication and also makes me feel very sleepy, so I guess that it is these effects, as much as anything, that has helped to control the extent of my drinking.
I have attended 3 AA meetings, attended a very touching memorial for Hank, my dear departed sponsor, and have had a couple of therapy sessions in Bangkok.
My therapist now believes the root of my depression is despair. In the past, despite all the various misfortunes that have befallen me, for the most part I always remained positive and always picked myself up and got on with life.
It is only in the past year or so, as I approach my mid sixties, my marriage collapses in a mish mash of harrowing, emotional nightmares that I find my former positive instincts are replaced by a feeling of utter hopelessness – despair!
The realisation has dawned on me that I have long since past the point in my life when I should be ‘happy, joyous and free’, (Hank’s words).
I am pleased to report that I feel I am now over the worst of my despair, and I am once more trying to pick myself up and see if there isn’t some kind of life out there which doesn’t involve an endless, sordid trawl through the fleshpots of Pattaya searching for that elusive ‘soul mate’.
With this in mind, I yesterday signed a one year lease on a nice house near Mabprachan lake in East Pattaya and will make the move on 1st October.
I regard this as a positive step for a number of reasons.
I am increasingly spending more time out near my old haunts in east Pattaya, as I prefer it out there – away from the brash, tourist traps and even brasher tourists of Jomtien and Central Pattaya.
The house, a three bed bungalow, is nicely furnished, has a good sized swimming pool and garden, and Dang has agreed that I can take my 3 dogs back. I miss them terribly and they will be good company for me. Additionally, I should benefit from having the responsibility of taking care of them.
The house is within easy walking distance of the lake, a few restaurants and an hotel that has decent western fare. I can even walk to the new 7/11 which opened a few months back.
So; I can exercise in the pool, I can take walks around the lake with Cookie, my golden retriever and who knows, I might even manage the odd jog or two if I start to get fit.
I am even within walking distance of a few drinking establishments, so my car can stay in the car port.
As the house is on the Amphur Pong side, I can drive to Central Pattaya in about 15 minutes, using the new express-way spur, without having to fight my way through the pot holes, the motorbikes and pick-ups that clog up the traffic infested sois of east Pattaya.
Relations with Dang are currently very good. I am redoubling my efforts to market my house as we are both desperate to get the house sold so that we can get on with our lives.
Of course I’ve been having all the usual ups and downs with the ladies, although I am sleeping alone to an increasing extent and getting quite used to it.
Tukta came back for a few days, but the affair soon fell apart again when she started to get up to her old tricks.
Tan has also been in a spot of bother lately and has looked to ‘Uncle Mobi’ to get her out of it.
I might write a bit more about this later.
On Wednesday I am going to Cambodia for ten days. I will spend five days in Phnom Penh and then jump in a cab to for a few days at the seaside, (Sihanoukville), for the remainder of my stay.
I need a change of pace, and plan to do more blogging while I am there.
I will try to pick up the pieces on my Vignette about Nid and I have some ideas for a new volume of short stories which are all connected to a central theme.
If this looks viable, I may start to publish them on my blog.
It would be really great to earn some money from all this ‘creative’ effort, but I have no idea how I could find an interested publisher. The last time I tried, it was so soul-destroying, with all the out of hand rejections, (‘Nobody reads short stories any more’), that I just don’t have the heart to try again.
Anyway, God willing, my next blog will be from Phnom Penh in a couple of days.