Jomtien, 30th August, 2010.

The “Home” page is my daily blog. The remaining tabs contain previously blogged, episodic ‘stories’, which are now re-published in chronological order.

Despite recent rumours, talk of my demise is a little premature.

I can assure those of you who are still following my vicarious existence, that I am alive and well, albeit slightly overweight.

Why the long silence? Well I do have a habit of doing this from time to time. This time I just felt that I needed a bit of a break.

What’s been happening in the life of Mobi over the past couple of weeks or so?

Nothing too sensational – just the usual fun, frolics and drunken incidents.

I am still drinking, although for the most part in controlled moderation. I did have 3 or 4 binges which led me to feeling pretty bad the next day, but even those paled into insignificance when compared to some of the great Mobi binges of the past.

My new medication has an unfortunate (or maybe fortunate) effect when mixed with alcohol. It increases my state of intoxication and also makes me feel very sleepy, so I guess that it is these effects, as much as anything, that has helped to control the extent of my drinking.

I have attended 3 AA meetings, attended a very touching memorial for Hank, my dear departed sponsor, and have had a couple of therapy sessions in Bangkok.

My therapist now believes the root of my depression is despair. In the past, despite all the various misfortunes that have befallen me, for the most part I always remained positive and always picked myself up and got on with life.

It is only in the past year or so, as I approach my mid sixties, my marriage collapses in a mish mash of harrowing, emotional nightmares that I find my former positive instincts are replaced by a feeling of utter hopelessness – despair!

The realisation has dawned on me that I have long since past the point in my life when I should be ‘happy, joyous and free’, (Hank’s words).

I am pleased to report that I feel I am now over the worst of my despair, and I am once more trying to pick myself up and see if there isn’t some kind of life out there which doesn’t involve an endless, sordid trawl through the fleshpots of Pattaya searching for that elusive ‘soul mate’.

With this in mind, I yesterday signed a one year lease on a nice house near Mabprachan lake in East Pattaya and will make the move on 1st October.

I regard this as a positive step for a number of reasons.

I am increasingly spending more time out near my old haunts in east Pattaya, as I prefer it out there – away from the brash, tourist traps and even brasher tourists of Jomtien and Central Pattaya.

The house, a three bed bungalow, is nicely furnished, has a good sized swimming pool and garden, and Dang has agreed that I can take my 3 dogs back. I miss them terribly and they will be good company for me. Additionally, I should benefit from having the responsibility of taking care of them.

The house is within easy walking distance of the lake, a few restaurants and an hotel that has decent western fare.  I can even walk to the new 7/11 which opened a few months back.

So; I can exercise in the pool, I can take walks around the lake with Cookie, my golden retriever and who knows, I might even manage the odd jog or two if I start to get fit.

I am even within walking distance of a few drinking establishments, so my car can stay in the car port.

As the house is on the Amphur Pong side, I can drive to Central Pattaya in about 15 minutes, using the new express-way spur, without having to fight my way through the pot holes, the motorbikes and pick-ups that clog up the traffic infested sois of east Pattaya.

Relations with Dang are currently very good. I am redoubling my efforts to market my house as we are both desperate to get the house sold so that we can get on with our lives.

Of course I’ve been having all the usual ups and downs with the ladies, although I am sleeping alone to an increasing extent and getting quite used to it.

Tukta came back for a few days, but the affair soon fell apart again when she started to get up to her old tricks.

Tan has also been in a spot of bother lately and has looked to ‘Uncle Mobi’ to get her out of it.

I might write a bit more about this later.

On Wednesday I am going to Cambodia for ten days. I will spend five days in Phnom Penh and then jump in a cab to for a few days at the seaside, (Sihanoukville), for the remainder of my stay.

I need a change of pace, and plan to do more blogging while I am there.

I will try to pick up the pieces on my Vignette about Nid and I have some ideas for a new volume of short stories which are all connected to a central theme.

If this looks viable, I may start to publish them on my blog.

It would be really great to earn some money from all this ‘creative’ effort, but I have no idea how I could find an interested publisher. The last time I tried, it was so soul-destroying, with all the out of hand rejections, (‘Nobody reads short stories any more’), that I just don’t have the heart to try again.

Anyway,  God willing, my next blog will be from Phnom Penh in a couple of days.

10 thoughts on “Jomtien, 30th August, 2010.”

  1. Mobi,
    True I am not intimately aware of your condition / history but there are some obvious patterns and one glaring issue for you. Alcoholism. I certainly hope that in the back of your mind you are not perpetuating your drinking career to satisfy the 100 or so followers of this blog and an idea that you may someday gain notoriety for a just around the corner event in your alcoholic life. While I find the details of Thai / SE Asia expat living very interesting as I espire to do the same soon, the trials and tribulations of your life are, don’t take this the wrong way, fairly typical of the cycle of poor choices, and day to day activities of an alcoholic. Once you sober up, there may not be much drama to report on HERE… and yes, your readership may diminish for this blog. But who knows, you are a brilliant man and you may take up some other less selfish cause and really leave a mark of hope in the world, perhaps giving back to the poor society of people whom have giving you the cheap and comfortable life of a older single western male you’ve enjoyed.

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    1. Trust me, there’s not a chance in a million that I will prolong my drinking just to provide writing material for my blog.

      In the past I have stopped drinking for long periods of time and that has not caused my ‘adventures’ to dry up, or to create a lack of interesting things to write about.

      My lifestyle just seems to attract in noteworthy incidents – drunk or sober.

      I doubt whether my life will ever be short of drama – even if I stop drinking today. But if it does, then so be it, I am a writer and will always find things to write about, especially in this part of the world.

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  2. In addition you may think (key work being you) that treating depression first is the answer. It’s actually the other way around. I doubt anybody can produce any evidence or statistics of a successful therapy for alcoholism which prescribes treating depression or any other psychological disorder first in the alcoholic. Abstinence from alcohol must be achieved FIRST before any Dr. can treat any depression/anxiety and the like. For someone as your self who has many many years of continuous alcohol abuse the depression and any other psychological disorders are direct result of alcoholism and alcohol abuse … I would expect rarely anything more.

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    1. I don’t think anything.

      I take my doctor’s advice on these matters, and the doctors happen to be a very eminent European psychotherapist and a leading psychiatrist from one of Bangkok’s top hospitals.

      I know you mean well and you have commented with good intentions, but this is a very complex subject, and there are as many opinions as there days in the year, so it is best left to the experts, wouldn’t you agree?

      Of course, ultimately the best possible action I should take is to stop drinking at once. Unfortunately that is easier said than done, so the specialists try to work round it, while at the same time exhorting me to quit and also strongly suggesting that i go into detox.

      While am happy to read your comments and I will continue to report on my treatment and alcoholic progression, I do not wish to get into a protracted argument concerning my treatment on this blog. It is pointless, for as much as I have opened my life to you, there is no way that you can be intimately aware of my condition and history , so you are in no position to comment or suggest that my treatment is wrong.

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  3. So let me try to understand, you’ve elicited the help of a therapist/Dr. who has prescribed pyscho active medication for your depression/anxiety etc.. and you are are drinking on top of it? How does that sit with your Dr.? How does your Dr. feel about you drinking while on the medication?

    You’ve told how the Dr. has said it may take many weeks for the medication to bare result. This tells me your on one of the many “non addictive” psych meds such as Effexor, Prozac, Luvox, Paxil, Zoloft and the like. Sir, your playing with fire and lying to yourself. I pity your condition and this blog is only a testament to the typical alcoholic mind at work. You would do well to address your alcoholism well before you look at treating depression or anxiety which are more than likely a result of prolonged alcohol abuse and an alcoholic mind.

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    1. I was taking Zoloft, I am now taking Remeron.

      Remeron should not be taken by manic-depressives (bi-polar) – it could be very dangerous.

      I pity your condition and this blog is only a testament to the typical alcoholic mind at work

      Precisely – read the title of my blog.

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  4. If you do nothing else, please do us all a favour and change the damn layout.

    I don’t think I have ever read a blog that is so unattractive. My advice would be to keep it as simple as possible. People are interested in your writing, your blogs are quite long, so keep it easy to read. Pastel blue text on varying shades of grey with red lines between paragraphs is not. Black on white is.

    If you’re having a problem selling your home I suggest getting an interior designer. Gawd knows what wallpaper you have! You maybe good with words, but sadly are lacking in artistic flare.

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    1. Well its all matter of taste.

      Just because you don’t like it that doesn’t mean that everyone else doesn’t like it.

      Some people like it a lot as the red lines separate the paragraphs and make it easier for reading.

      I have come to the conclusion that a lot depends on your PC and how it is set up to read my blog.

      On both my notebook and desk top PC all the text is very clear, regardless of colour. The pale colours stand out vividly on the almost black background.

      I accept that if you are receiving my blog via email, then the colours will make it difficult to read, but then again, all you have to do is cut and paste onto a word document and you will have a black and white version.

      But why go to all that effort? I hear you say.

      Quite right.

      So I do accept that the format is annoying for many and I will be changing it to a newer, simpler format in the near future..

      BTW, the colour scheme in my house is as bland and boring as imaginable and will definitely not create any impediments to my selling efforts.

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  5. Mobi;

    Very happy you are alive and well. It would be great if you posted a sentence or two every few days so we know that another post is coming.

    Nothing like changing the oil by taking short jaunts to make you appreciate where you live.

    You may want to think of hiring a ghost writer for a novel ?

    Why the sudden interest in earning money out of curiosity?

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