The “Home” page is my daily blog. The remaining tabs contain previously blogged, episodic ‘stories’, which are now re-published in chronological order.
It is a strange fact of life that sometimes I can recall in the utmost detail, events that happened 5, 10 or even 30 years ago, yet I struggle to remember precisely what I have been up to over the past couple of days.
But upon reflection it is not so strange really, as I have no doubt that the alcohol is continuing to play tricks with my short term memory and who knows – maybe I am in the early stages of Alzheimer’s or even Mad Cow disease!
I last blogged on Friday 30th July, and it is now Monday, 2nd August.
So what have I been up to?
I can’t recall precisely what I got up to on Friday night, but as best as I can recall, I stayed home and also probably got drunk.
Saturday was a strange day, it centred around:-
The brief re-awakening of a past relationship.
I spent all the morning on my computer downloading music videos, and sorting my emails, and in the afternoon I visited a good friend for a couple of hours before heading back out to the Darkside to meet up with a couple friends who were having a few tipples at Tan’s bar.
I was joined by one of Tan’s fellow bar girls who massaged my back and in return, in the time honoured fashion, I bought her a couple of drinks.
During the course of her ministrations, the girl asked me if I still loved Tan. When I replied in the affirmative she told me that Tan wanted to get back together with me.
I was quite taken aback by this revelation, as Tan had never called me and whenever I went to drink at her bar, she never so much as gave me a glance, let alone say “hello” or offer a welcoming smile.
I told the girl that I thought it highly unlikely that Tan was still interested in me, but she insisted that she did, and an hour later she arranged a private meeting between Tan and me in a nearby room.
This was the first time we had spoken in many weeks and Tan confirmed that she did indeed wanted to pick up the relationship again. She said she had been so angry at my behaviour and it was only recently that she had calmed down and managed to ‘let it go’.
For my part, I re-stated my profound regret for what I had done, and told her that not a day had passed when I didn’t think about her, or lament what had transpired to cause our relationship to collapse.
The first signs that this was not going to be an easy ‘mending of fences’, occurred when Tan sat down with me and made a half hearted attempt to cuddle me.
In the first place I was surprisingly devoid of romantic feelings and in the second, I also sensed that she was going through the motions and didn’t feel anything either.
So it wasn’t a particularly good start. Things were soon to get much worse.
She asked me if I still planned to move to a house on the Darkside and I confirmed that this was my intention. I told her that this month I would start looking around for a suitable home.
She said that when I found a house she wanted to bring her daughter to Pattaya and they would both come to live with me.
However, she then went on to tell me in no uncertain terms that in the meantime, she would never come to my condo and would remain living above the bar. She made it very clear that she wouldn’t put afoot inside my condo, not even to stay with me over night.
I asked her: “why?”
She said: “No reason!”
I told her I thought this was unreasonable as I didn’t know how long it would be before I moved.
She didn’t seem to care and was adamant.
Then she told me she had bought a new telephone and had a new number. I asked her to give me the number but she refused. She said she still kept her old phone and I could call her on that one.
I asked her: “Why won’t you give me the new number”
She said: “No reason; I just don’t want to!”
I then asked her about the so-called new boyfriend she had met after we split up and she confirmed that it was true, that she had met a man and he was now back home in England and that he called her or sent emails to her (on her lovely new phone ) every day.
She told me she had never slept with him, but knowing how horny she is I find that very difficult to believe.
She then told me that this ‘man’ will be coming back to Thailand for a few weeks in December, so I asked her what she would do about him if we get back together again. She replied that she didn’t know!!
She informed me that she had an appointment next week at the ‘nose hospital’ in Bangkok to ‘do’ her nose again as she didn’t like the way they had done it the last time round.
Naturally she expected me to take her there and pay for it. She also wanted me to take her to Nakhon Sawan and pick up her daughter and bring her to Bangkok.
Her daughter should have been brought back to Bangkok months ago. We had previously left her in Nakhon Sawan until such time as the red shirts protests in Bangkok were over,as the family home was quite close to one of the trouble areas.
She told me she hadn’t been home and hadn’t seen her daughter in months, not since I had driven her daughter back to Nakhon Sawan for safety. So much for motherly love and care.
I was fast coming to the conclusion that it would be a disaster if I agreed to take her back, but with a sense of morbid fascination, I decided to play along with her for the time being and see where it all led to.
We eventually decided to go out for a meal and Tan invited her friend along.Tan told me that she was very tired and that after we had eaten she wanted to go back to her room and sleep.
However it didn’t quite turn out that way. After the meal, her friend wanted to go to see another friend at a bar in North Pattaya, so I drove the two of them there.
I bought a few drinks at the Pattaya bar and then her friend asked me to drop her at Big C where she was meeting some more friends.
It must have been around midnight, and after dropping off her friend, I expected to drive Tan back to her room on the Darkside.
But to my surprise, Tan announced that she wanted to go “Bai Tio” with her friends and with that, she jumped out of the car and was off and away.
A few hours ago she had been too tired and sleepy to go home with me, but not too sleepy to go out partying with her friends. Hm…..
I ended up with a sweet young thing from Walking street (only her second day working in a bar) and was fast asleep when Tan called me about 8 times at around 1.30 a.m. All missed calls according to my phone log.
I finally called Tan at 1p.m. yesterday, and she was none too friendly.
In the evening I went to her bar, and yet again she didn’t look at me or greet me. She ignored me for about an hour after which she passed close to where I was sitting and with a shake of her head, pointedly turned up her nose at me before disappearing back to a table where she had been sitting with some customers.
Even a couple of weeks ago I would have been devastated by this rude and cruel public display of disdain, but my love for Tan has finally died and I just felt sadness, and yes, I confess a great anger started welling up inside me.
What had I done to merit such behaviour? I had taken her and her friend out for an expensive meal and then driven them to Pattaya where I bought her and two more friends several drinks before they decided to move on.
I know – I’m a glutton for punishment and what more can I expect from a selfish whore?
But Mobi is Mobi and even after all these years he still lets these girls get to him.
I proceeded to get drunk and as I sat there my resentment at her behaviour of that evening and her ridiculous demands of the previous day continued to bother me.
So I sent her a number of long rambling messages, telling her just what I thought of her.
I won’t repeat them in my blog, but I can assure you that they were designed to get under her skin and upset her.
In this I am sure I had succeeded, for when I finally left the bar and went to another one nearby, she called me to ask me why I had sent such hurtful messages to her. I told her why I had done so, although I cannot recall the precise language that I used.
I do however, recall that there were two guys sitting along the bar from me, and when I slammed down my phone they remarked with amusement that I had certainly told her what was what and put her in her place!! They seemed to have been very impressed.
Back in Jomtien I visited a number of bars. In the last one, of which I have no recollection, I must have passed out, for I was awoken by a girl. She looked familiar but I couldn’t place her; she told me that the bar was closing and I had to go home.
It took a while for me to realise who she was and what bar I was in. I have no memory of my journey home home.
The luck of the drunks.
Today I have been more or less behaving myself as tomorrow I must make a 6 am start for my drive to Bangkok. I have two appointments – the psychiatrist and the psychotherapist.
I am seriously considering some major changes to my life and will write about them later.
My never ending story of alcoholic relapses and my stupid, degrading and hopeless adventures with whores is becoming boring – even to me. I know I will never find true love in a bar and I must take a different course in my life before it is too late.
Nid (Part 5)
Yes, it was the first of many times that Nid disappeared without notice.
Much later, long after we had broken up for the final time I realised that she disappeared for two reasons. One was her need for more money that I could ever give her on a regular basis, but equally important was her need to find new men to screw.
She was very horny lady, probably a nymphomaniac and there was no way, all those years ago that I could properly satisfy her needs in this department.
As a rule Nid would look to farangs to provide her with money and to Thai men to satisfy her sexual needs.
Upon her return, a few days later, her disgust with me for lending the money continued unabated.
I was becoming increasingly anxious to get my loan repaid and I continued to call the two recalcitrant debtors every day.
When I first lent them the money they had given me a post dated cheque which when due, had bounced again and again when I had tried to present it at their bank.
They kept making new promises that they never kept, so once again I decided to go to the radio station to confront them
This I did for three days in a row and on the third day I warned them that if they didn’t pay up I would lodge a complaint with the police and show them the bad cheque.
Issuing cheques without sufficient funds in the bank of the issuer is a criminal offence in Thailand and can result in a jail term, if convinced.
I hated making this threat to my ‘so-called’ friends, but I was so desperate to get Nid off my back, that I was prepared to do anything.
They finally realised that I was very serious and I wouldn’t give up until they paid me back. In addition, they were becoming increasingly embarrassed by Mobi waiting for them at their place of work every day. They were starting to lose face – big time, as all the staff there knew the reason for my visits.
Nevertheless I was quite taken aback when, on my fourth visit to the radio station, at long last they handed me an envelope containing the borrowed money.
I was ecstatic and breathed a huge sigh of relief, and hurried home to my room in Patunam to show Nid the money.
In a wild moment of foolhardiness, I handed the money over to Nid, saying::
“Here, you take care of my money for me. You can use it to pay our living expenses for the next few months. You can a few hundred Baht to buy some new clothes if you like”, I added in a moment of generosity.
Little did I realise what I had just done.
Nid needed no second bidding and the following day we went to celebrate the return of our money at The Derby King in Patpong.
During our visit, Nid announced that she and a few friends from the bar wanted to go and spend a night in Pattaya on the following day, which was a Sunday, and they would all be back in Bangkok on Monday morning.
I was happy to agree to this, not realising what was really in Nid’s mind.
Sure enough all the bar girls went for a ‘girls night out’ in Pattaya on the Sunday, and duly returned in time for work on Monday morning, minus the elusive Nid.
When Nid hadn’t returned home on Monday morning, as promised, I went down to The Derby King at lunch time and asked the girls if they knew where she was.
They were all very evasive and said they had no idea what had happened to her. She had gone to Pattaya with them but they hadn’t seen her since.
At first I wasn’t too bothered. I simply assumed she had decided to extend her holiday for a day or so and would be back any day.
But day followed day, and the days turned into weeks. One week became two , then three and eventually a whole month had passed with no word from her – nothing.
This was way before the days of mobile phones and it was impossible to contact her. I didn’t even know for sure that she was still in Pattaya. She could be anywhere.
I had a feeling that the girls in the Derby King knew where she was as they were all so fidgety and evasive when I asked them if they had any idea where she may be. They just assured me that she would come back soon. How did they know that?
To make matters worse, I had given her a 100,000 Baht. Maybe she would never come back!
I became increasingly frantic. I couldn’t eat, only drink. I would spend my days and nights in the Derby King drowning my sorrows in booze.
Looking back, I realise what a fool I was and how everyone, (girls and farangs alike), knew exactly what Nid was all about and just regarded me as a stupid, gullible farang.
In the end I could stand it no longer and decided to pack an overnight bag and take the bus to Pattaya and see if I could track my wife down.
Pattaya was still in its early stages of development in those days, and was still pretty much a small village. I thought that if Nid was there, I had a fair chance of finding her.
Upon arrival in Pattaya, I checked into a cheap hotel and was up at dawn the next day to start the search for my missing wife and money.
Amazingly, I didn’t have to search very long.
As luck would have it, I was walking along the beach at around 8 a.m. the following morning, when there, as large as life, was Nid, in a stunning looking outfit that showed off every curve of her sensuous body; arm in arm with a young Thai man.
We caught sight of each other literally at the same moment. There was nowhere for Nid to hide and it was too late for her to take her hand away from her Thai boyfriend.
I was totally speechless, but Nid was full of rage at being caught red-handed.
Thai girls are old hands at such potentially disastrous confrontations and have long ago learned that old adage: ‘the best form of defence is attack!’