Jomtien, 11th July, 2010.

Yesterday I stayed home all day and drank a bottle of wine, a few beers and some whisky.

I slept quite late, well after midnight, and awoke at 6 a.m. Then I slept fitfully until around 9 a.m.

Since I came out of hospital I have been taking Xanax to help me sleep, but a highly knowledgeable friend told me to stop as it is highly addictive and will create problems with my brain chemistry.  Xanax is a depressant and as I also take anti-depressants she suggests that the mix will increase the effect of the Xanax and make my depression worse!

So two nights ago I stopped the Xanax. I believe it was already having an adverse effect on my depression and I also suspect that I was becoming addicted to it. I felt so bad yesterday, (as you can see from my blog), and not a lot better today.

Today, as of 3.00 p.m., I have not touched any alcohol and I intend to try and stay off it completely, at the very least until after I have seen the Doctor in Bangkok on Tuesday.

So today is already very tough day, and will get worse as the day goes on. If can make it through to Monday, there is every chance I can string together a few dry days and see what the doctor can do for me.

Tukta is still here taking care of me. I don’t know how long she will stay, but for now I think it is better that I am not alone, and she is a very kind and cooks for me. As long as she is here it will help me to stay away from the bars.

To all those who have wished me well and posted helpful comments, I apologise for blocking new comments. I do miss all the familiar names but I don’t think my present state of mind can take the adverse, abusive comments that will also inevitably be made.

If I can turn this around, then I will un-block the comments.

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