Jomtien, 10th July, 2010

I am still drinking, and it’s all just more of the same.

Booze, wine, women and song, and horrendous, depressive hangovers which can only be cured by more booze.

Yesterday I made some enquiries about finding a therapist and to cut a long story short I have an appointment with a psychotherapist in Bangkok on Tuesday morning.

So I have done something positive and am praying that something good will come out of it.

I have nowhere else to go now. I am near the end of the line now. It is becoming harder and harder to carry on.

I don’t suppose anyone who reads this can understand what is happening to me but I am in so much emotional torment. I just want it to be all over, one way or another – the sooner the better. I cannot go on living like this.

I hope I can make it to Tuesday.