Yes folks I’m still sober, but as most of you know by now, it’s far too early to get carried away.
Haven’t been doing anything very exciting and it is now 3 p.m. and I am at home – alone.
I have not yet returned to AA meetings, although I do intend to do so eventually, but have been concentrating on working through the AA 12 step programme with my new sponsor.
I met him in Pattaya, but he has since returned to USA so we have daily meetings around noon on the internet which can sometimes last well over two hours.
It has been hard going and I have been giving my sponsor a very hard time. I almost lost him a couple of days back when he insisted that I use certain forms for my 4th Step work and which I refused to use.
It is becoming apparent that I am not your everyday alcoholic, and although in many ways I fit quite well into the ‘alcoholic mould” or stereotype, in other ways I am not very typical.
In particular, the Big Book states that ‘resentment’ is one of the main problems facing most alcoholics, and if he/she can make list of them, examine them and come to terms with them, then it will go a long way to helping them on their way to sobriety.
I have never been a resentful person.
Angry? Yes. Am I sad about people who have wronged me? Yes. Do I bear resentment? No. Do I plan revenge? No.
I explained to my sponsor that the main source of past resentment was my father, but in recent years I have come to realise that he was a victim of his circumstances and upbringing, and he probably had no idea how much his behaviour hurt me and shaped me. In his own way, I believe he loved me, and these days I bear no resentment towards him, only sadness at what might have been.
My sponsor seems to have a problem accepting that this is truly the case with me as most alcoholics are simply overflowing with resentments.
He gave me an example of one of his own, current resentments and I told him that if it was me in that position I would not have borne resentment, I would have dealt with it, and suggested a number of courses of action on how to deal with the person who was creating his resentment.
So the debate went back and forth for over two hours and in the end I think I got the point across. However, I am sure I do bear some resentments and will try to identify them and deal with them in tomorrow’s ‘meeting’.
The next section is X Rated, so if you don’t want to read about the Thai sex industry, bar girls, sex and related matters then please skip it.
Now to the much discussed, much written about subject of Thai whores and age differences, as there have been many adverse and uncomplimentary comments about my behaviour and the ‘sin city’ in which I reside.
Let’s get one thing clear. Prostitution has been endemic in Thailand long before foreigners came here in droves to sample the now world-famous feminine delights.
There is barely a village in the whole of Thailand that doesn’t have a massage parlour and/or a karaoke bar (i.e. a brothel) tucked away somewhere in the back streets. Every town in Thailand has literally hundreds of short time rooms where the locals take their prostitutes.
The Thai sex industry for Thai men was going on long before the GI’s came to Thailand back in the 60’s and it is even more prevalent today than ever before, due to the comparative increase in the standard of living, even amongst simple villagers.
farangs have no idea of their existence of these sex establishments because, of course, they cannot read Thai and have no idea that the building they are walking or driving past in ‘Nakhon Nowhere’ is either a brothel or a short time motel.
When I was recently in roi et with wan, she showed me so many buildings and bungalow complexes that were actually short time rooms that even I was amazed at the number.
Farangs did not bring prostitution to Thailand and even today the sex activities engaged in by foreigners probably only constitutes a small percentage of the total sex industry.
Why is Thailand such a proliferate sex destination?
It’s very difficult to say, but there is no doubt that it is partly due to the beauty and sexual allure of such a high percentage of the women, and also – and I am sure I will get flack for stating this – but the amorality of the women themselves, many of whom are very highly sexed. Of course there is sexual exploitation and human trafficking – but this occurs far more in the ‘Thais only’ sex industry than the ‘farang’ sex industry sector.
The fact remains that these days, so many of these women do have a choice. This country is becoming quite wealthy and anyone who wants to do an honest day’s work can find a job.
But working in a bar or a massage parlour or karaoke is much easier and pays a lot more money. One pretty girl in a family can keep the rest of them in rice, whisky and beer without the family having to lift a finger. All the girl has to do is open her legs, and whether you like it or not, most are perfectly happy to do this, and a very high percentage crave it as they are very highly sexed.
Last night I was watching the football in what I would describe as one of the more ‘respectable’ pubs – no groping or kissing, just a few decently dressed bar girls who would sit with you if you wanted, and would even go home with you if they liked you and you wanted them to.
They all knew me quite well, but I had never slept with any of them. Three of them came over to where I was sitting and wouldn’t leave me alone. They insisted on groping me (yes I was being demeaned) and complained that they hadn’t had a customer in days and were feeling very horny. I tried to get rid of them – truly – as I wanted to watch the football, but they wouldn’t go.
In the end two of them offered to go with me for free because they were so horny and wanted a fuck. I politely declined.
This sort of things happens to me frequently. Once a girl knows you can satisfy their urges, ( and believe me after a lifetime of poor performances I have now learnt the control and the skills required to do just that), they often beg me to take them.
The cynics amongst you will say it is just about money. Of course it is about money – that is what they are there for – but I have had many a girl who has called and come to see me of her own volition and never charged me a penny piece, once they know what I can do for them.
I am not saying this to brag. I am telling you this because it is a fact, and no one in Thailand has done more research into this subject than Mobi. Many Thai girls love big farang penises – the bigger the better. I have known girls have an orgasm just by grabbing my dick for a few minutes.
It always makes me laugh when I meet an old flame and ask her if she has missed me. Often they say they haven’t missed me but they have missed my dick!
The point of all this is to try and get across the fact that so many of these girls love what they are doing. It is easy, good money and they have a ball. Yes, sometimes they have a bad customer, but trust me, most of them are more than capable of dealing with bastards out there.
So what possible harm am I doing by engaging their services and being very generous to them. They are happy I am happy and IMHO no one is being demeaned. We are all there because we want to be.
I have met so many girls who used to work in factories, hotels offices etc, but they changed to whoring because, by their own admittance it was better money for far less work.
I know girls who have boyfriends back in Europe who send them regular, quite adequate money to live on, but they still work the bars, mainly because they enjoy the lifestyle.
So many Thai girls are amoral – as was my last wife Dang. Many married Thai women will go out with their friends for the night and end up sleeping with strange men – Thais and farangs. Not all, of course, but so many you would be amazed. They just love fucking and they don’t give a shit. They don’t even think they are doing something bad.
The Thai men are just as bad – if not worse. As soon as their ‘wife’ has a baby, they dump them and move on. They never wear condoms and often give their women AIDS. Many are ‘carriers’. They don’t develop AIDS but infect many women.
Thailand is a very amoral, sexually ‘deviant’ society. It always has been and probably always will be and European prudes, with their Victorian morals, really have no place here.
Now to age differences.
Why is it that famous men can marry women a fraction of their age and no one bats an eyelid?
Rupert Murdoch, Michael Douglas, Larry King (married 6 times), Woody Allen, Billy Joel, Geraldo Rivera, Harvey Weinstein, Donald Trump, Howard Stern… The list is endless. The age gaps range from over 20 to over forty years. It’s ok for them, but not Ok for Mobi.
In Victorian England it was quite normal for a wealthy man in his late fifties to choose as his bride a lady in her late teens or early twenties.
Even amongst Thais it is very common for wealthy elderly Thai men to marry young Thai women.
Some societies -, western and Asian, past and present, accept large age differences with equanimity.
Here in Pattaya, you can sit in Carrefour any day of the week and watch the elderly Europeans with their young Thai wives, often with babies in prams, or young kids walking with them. What is wrong with it? Both parties benefit. The girl is able to look after her family and often kids by a previous relationship and the man gets comfort and someone to take care of him in his old age. If both parties are happy with the arrangement who are we to say he is a paedophile or a dirty, perverted old man?
There must be hundreds of thousands, if not millions of older men all over the world who sit at their computer, committing sex acts while watching young beautiful Asian girls performing all manner of calisthenics. Most of them would give their right arm, (or maybe their left), to be here, in Pattaya.
If I am addicted to PUSSY, then I am no different to any other hot blooded male whose hormones are still flowing.
If I am addicted to young pussy – that is because I have been spoiled. Once you have had all this young pussy around you – nothing else will suffice. I couldn’t even consider a European women – let alone one over 40.
There, I have spoken openly and frankly. I know I am not a good person but at least I am honest.
If I can find the right ‘live-in’ lover, I will be honest, kind and faithful. Until then I will indulge my pleasures – hopefully while remaining sober.