I finally made it – 1 day without alcohol!
For the past few days I have been attempting to wean myself off the booze by gradually reducing my daily consumption.
I try to stay dry for as long as I can through the day but when the ‘pain’ gets too much, I have a few beers or a couple of glasses of wine to steady the body and nerves.
Within a day or two I had managed to last through to the evening time without taking a drop, and then I limited myself to a few glasses of wine. (I am trying to stay off beer completely because I have put on to much weight and the sugar content is very bad for my diabetes.)
I have already blogged that last Thursday I followed this procedure, only to throw it out of the window when I experienced a perceived ‘slight’ from Tan, and secretly drunk about a third of a bottle of Sangsom late in the evening.
It was the realisation of what I had done that finally persuaded me that I probably cannot control my drinking without help, so on Friday evening I went to an AA meeting for the first time in months.
It was a good meeting, but it didn’t stop me having a few glasses of wine later that evening, which I decided would be my last – at least for a while. Then, yet another perceived ‘slight’ and I couldn’t wait to open the last remaining bottle of red in my collection. My twisted brain was waiting for the slightest excuse to pick up. So between about midnight and four a.m, I drank the whole bottle, while Tan slept.
I felt pretty bad yesterday morning, both mentally and physically and I knew that I had better get my act together.
Last night I attended my second AA meeting on the trot – another good meeting where the notion that alcoholics can only stop drinking when they decide that they are really ready to stop – was a powerful, oft-repeated theme.
Then I collected Tan from her friend’s place and went home. The idea was to have an early night as Tan had to get up early today to go to her new college for a special ‘registration day’.
In the event we didn’t sleep until after two a.m. and I slept right through until almost noon. Tan awoke early, put on her sexy, maroon and white college uniform, and went to college on her motorbike.
I have finally made twenty four hours without any alcohol, so today I am on day two.
I don’t feel great, but not that bad, so hopefully I am on a roll.
Tomorrow we were scheduled to go to Bangkok to take little Fon back to Tan’s aunt’s house in Nonthaburi, but as Bangkok is increasingly descending into a state of total anarchy, I told Tan that it wouldn’t be wise to go.
The ‘Bangkok dangerous’ map provided by Thai Visa, showing all the trouble spots indicated that I might have to drive through ‘live fire’ zones, (i.e. ‘war zones’) to get to the Aunt’s home.
I suggested that instead of taking her to Bangkok, we should take Fon back to Nakhon Sawan, where she will be safer until the troubles settle down.
Tan has agreed, so tomorrow morning, early, we will drive to Nakhon Sawan, skirting Bangkok on the ring road, and hopefully avoid any troubles. I will return to Pattaya tomorrow evening, but Tan will stay for a couple of nights and return under own steam on Thursday, as she has to start college on Friday.
So it will be a big test of my resolve to stay sober – three nights on my own!