Jomtien 29th April, 2010

I have been drinking too much lately and today I will stop, hopefully for a few days at the very least.

I guess it started when Tan went to Bangkok last Sunday afternoon. I had quite a binge which ended in the small hours in Jomtien, and in case you are wondering, the car was back in the condo car park.

A similar thing happened on Monday, and although I was by no means unfaithful to my new girl friend I admit that I was up to my usual tricks of spreading my favors around many young ladies of the night and making all kinds of stupid promises as the alcohol took hold.

After two ruinous nights in a row, it was with great effort that that  I managed to pull myself together on Tuesday afternoon to pick Tan up from the bus terminal.

Unfortunately we had been invited to a party that evening and once more I was unable to resist temptation and got fairly pissed, although both of us were so exhausted that we were home by eleven p.m.

(Tan had taken her father to Nakhon Sawan on Monday and returned to Bangkok on early Tuesday morning before catching a bus back to Pattaya.)

An unpleasant incident occurred at the party.

I have written in the past about a drinking friend by the name of Geoff.  (Refer to my blog of 23rd September, 2009).

Geoff is my age and is a total alcoholic. Every day he starts on the Singha beer at ten a.m.  and by seven p.m. is pissed out of his mind.

He used to go drinking at bars around Mabprachan lake pretty much every day, but these days he restricts it to just three or maybe for days a week due to lack of funds, but that doesn’t stop him drinking copious amounts of beer at home.

When I first met Geoff he always dragged his Thai wife and daughter along with him, but as his alcoholic behaviour grew more intolerable, his wife started to rail against coming out with him, and over a period of a year or so she completely ceased to accompany him.

The marriage became increasingly unstable, with Geoff flying in to alcoholic rages whenever he arrived home and made life ever more intolerable for his wife and daughter.

Over time, Geoff’s wife made several attempts to leave him, taking her daughter with her. But it was difficult because Geoff always locked all her papers away in a safe (including their passports and Thai ID’s) and refused to let her keep her own money or jewelry.

His house is in a pretty isolated spot, but although Geoff’s wife had a motorcycle, he always took the keys from her once she was home so that she couldn’t go out without his permission.

On two separate occasions, Geoff’s wife succeeded in getting away from Geoff with her daughter. Then on another occasion she left without her daughter and without any money or transport, when he actually threw her out in the middle of the night in a drunken rage. She was stranded outside the house with only the clothes she stood in.

On each of these occasions she stayed with Dang and me in our house in Pong but to this day Geoff has no idea where his wife stayed when she left him. When he discovered his wife and daughter had gone, Geoff would call me and instruct me not to take them in if they came looking for shelter.

But each time they would turn up at our house and of course we took them in and gave them what comfort we were able to.

It would sometimes develop into farce. We had to hide the wife’s motorbike and warn the little girl to keep a look out for ‘Daddy at the gate’, when she was playing outside,in the garden or in the pool. If she spotted him she should run and hide in the house.

In the end she always went back because she had nowhere to go and no money. She couldn’t work because she had a daughter to take care of. She wanted to move back to live with her family in the South of Thailand, but they refused her plea to look after her daughter while she went out to work.

But she developed a tough streak and after some terrible fights she hit out decided to meet  violence with violence. As a result of this change in her behavior, Geoff started treating her with more caution and respect and often acceded to her demands.

He was no match for her when drunk and she had no compunction in coming at him with a kitchen knife or even bare teeth when his behavior became too menacing.

A deep bond grew between Geoff’s wife and Dang and they got along extremely well together. She was extremely unhappy with Geoff, especially after she caught him ‘short timing’ with a bar girl from a neighborhood bar she and refused to sleep with him from then on.

She was stuck in a miserable marriage, having to put up with a drunken slob of a husband and her only comfort was her frequent visits to my house (a ten minute journey) to spend time with her friend, Dang.

Now to Geoff and Mobi.

Geoff has had a go at me three times. On the first occasion, a whole crowd us were at a beer bar near the lake. Dang was there, as was Geoff’s wife, plus a few other wives.

I sat down on a bench next to Geoff’s wife and Dang, and suddenly drunken Geoff accused me of trying to ‘get off’ with his wife! He screamed and shouted at me, hurling insults, and of course I started to respond in kind. It was shaping up nicely for a full scale fracas when Geoff’s wife came between us and led him to their car and drove him home.

He later apologized for his drunken outburst and I accepted it.

Then, some time later, after his wife had been spending more and more time at my house with Dang, Geoff called me one day and started shouting and screaming at me, ordering me to keep my wife away from his wife. Of course it was preposterous, and I told him so. The problem was with him, not with Dang, and he was the one who needed to do something about his wife if he had a problem about where she spent her time.

I told Geoff a few home truths about his life and his marriage, but he has always been an extremely self opinionated, stubborn man and refuses to listen to anyone who tries to advise him.

This time our ‘estrangement’ lasted several weeks, but in the end, in a spirit of not bearing resentment, I made it up with him, and we resumed our previous friendship.

Geoff continued to fall out with people at bars when he was drunk and was lucky not to have suffered serious injury, for there was no way he could have defended himself in such a drunken state.

A few weeks ago he actually started abusing a farang woman who was at the bar with her husband and she had no compunction in jumping on him with both fists flying.

He had to be rescued by the bar owner who pulled her off. Since then he always checked ahead to see if this woman was at the bar as he was scared that she might attack him again!

Now to the party on Tuesday.

Geoff’s wife and daughter had been on holiday with her family in the south for two weeks and he had picked them up from the airport that afternoon.

He wanted to come to the party, but rarely went out after dark as he was worried that he would have an accident, so he asked his wife if she would come with him and drive him home.

She told him  she was tired, didn’t want to go the party but would take him there, then pop round and see Dang with her daughter and come back later to pick him up.

Geoff called me and confirmed the plan that he would meet me at the party and that his wife would drop him off and then pop over to see Dang and come back later to take him home.

By the time I arrived he was already pissed and his wife was still there, but getting g ready to leave for Dang’s house.

Suddenly, out of the blue, Geoff started shouting at her at the top of his voice, objecting to her leaving, and demanding to know why she preferred Dang to him. He even accused her of being a lesbian.

After five minutes of being berated, the wife had had enough and she took her daughter and walked out, leaving the car behind.

We all thought that was that, but not a bit of it. He still kept shouting at anyone who would listen, and then turned on me and demanded I give him Dang’s phone number as he was going to call her and tell her never to see his wife again.

Well, when a drunk screams orders to me it is like a red rag to a bull, and I felt my anger rising. But it was a party and I didn’t want to create any more commotion than Geoff had already created, so I tried to ignore him and attempted to walk away.

I had only taken two steps when he shouted at me again, accusing Dang of ruining his marriage.

I looked at him and said:

“Geoff, Dang hasn’t ruined your marriage. You ruined it yourself,” and removed myself from his presence.

A little later, he was still shouting at anyone who would listen to him and when he spotted me at the other end of the room he walked half way over and screamed: “f..cking arsehole!!”

Then he went to his car and drove off.

Hopefully that is the last time I will see him or if we do meet again, as far as I’m concerned it’s three strikes and you’re out and I certainly won’t talk to him.

I’ve turned a blind eye to many of his unpleasant, and even cruel habits because I understood that he, like me is an alcoholic and most of his bad behaviour is the result  of the demon booze which is slowly pickling his brain.

But enough is enough, and I have to write him off as a friend. I fear he is beyond help and his behaviour will get worse and worse, so I am better off out of it.

(In case you were wondering, I later heard through a friend, that Geoff’s wife and daughter walked about three kilometers in the pitch dark to a seven eleven where they sat outside and called him. He eventually picked them up and drove home where he collapsed on the sofa.)

Yesterday we spent the afternoon on the beach with some friends and their kids and although I had a few beers, I didn’t get drunk and we all had a very pleasant time.

On Saturday we plan to go to Bangkok for a couple of nights before driving to Nakhon Sawan on Monday for a couple more days, assuming civil war doesn’t break out before then.

For those who told me that meeting Tan’s parents is tantamount to getting engaged; well I’m not sure about that, but for sure it is a clear signal that we are living together and everyone appears to be quite comfortable with the arrangement.

We have been together for two weeks, but it seems like much longer. I can honestly asy that I have never been happier in my life.

Tan is a lovely, intelligent girl and we get along extremely well together. She is attentive to me without being smothering and always is concerned that I am not bored. When we are with her friends, she will continually be solicitous of my welfare – as opposed to so many girls I have been with who once they get with their friends, seem to completely forget that they brought a man with them.

It’s many little things like this that I notice.

To date, we haven’t had a single disagreement, and we have been very honest about our past lives – no holds barred.

Everything about our relationship is good and I’m determined to prove the cynics amongst you wrong. (especially Mick, God bless him..)

It can work. We will make it work.

After all, I may be sixty three and unwell, but I look like a strapping forty three year old!!

Time will tell.

10 thoughts on “Jomtien 29th April, 2010”

  1. Sir,

    I may be too young to comment about the intricacies of life, but what I feel is a person should be selfish atleast after all you have gone through all these years working ur ass off. So, it dosent matter what you do is right or wrong ( both being relative..), what it matters is what makes you happy . I believe even the screwup;s are not bad as we are the people who decide on them.


  2. Geoff actually spent many years as an aircraft engineer in Saudi Arabia before taking early retirement in Thailand.

    I have no doubt you are correct about the number of bad, angry Limey drinkers, but I think you will find that all alcoholics (as opposed to ‘heavy drinkers”) always end up being ‘bad’ and ‘angry’ as their disease progresses and their brain becomes more and more pickled by alcohol.

    Certainly from all the AA meetings I attended, where the preponderance of members was Americans, they all admitted to being very bad and very angry and ultimately losing all the their friends and family.

    I actually doubt if alcoholism and the bad behaviour that eventually results, is more dominant in one country or another. It is a world wide phenomenon, and again, in AA, I have met alcoholics from just about every country you can name, including so-called ‘dry’ countries such as Iran, where AA has many branches.

    Here in Thailand I would say Americans are the largest group, followed by the Irish, Australians, and Scots, with the English a distant fifth. But, of course these are the ones who have stopped drinking – maybe all the Limeys never stop!!!

    Thank you for reading my blog



  3. “I can honestly asy that I have never been happier in my life.” Now when have I heard you say that before?


  4. Hi Mobi,

    Geoff appears to a very lucky guy, I know some guys that have bars around the lake or are managers in those bars who would knock him out in an instant.

    Mobi, you’re doing OK.

    Sometimes you drink too much, but hey, don’t many do the same thing, I know I do.

    Think like this, ” I could be acting like Geoff “.

    Sure, everybody’s situation is different, maybe if Geoff was in a good financial situation, he’d be different.

    Who knows….

    Anyway mate,take care of yourself first and foremost , no need to worry about others, you’ve earned the right to indulge or even over indulge in whatever you want to indulge in. You appear to holding it together quite well.

    Problem is, if you go to AA meetings, the meetings make you feel like shit if you have a drink, then you become addicted to AA meetings……..

    Do you know Neil who used to run the Fisherman’s rest , a very good friend of mine for many years ?

    Cheers Mobi.



    1. I did meet Neil a few times when he first started managing Fisherman’s but I was never a great fan of the bar, and stopped going there ages ago. I hear Neil is no longer there.

      It’s probably got the best location on the lake, but other things are not so good, IMHO.

      You could be right about AA; I’m still thinking about it. There some genuinely good guys there, along with a bunch of hypocritical arsholes/nutcases.

      Sounds like any typical Pattaya bar really…..


  5. I’m surprised that the Geoff fella hasn’t been beaten to a pulp by now. Must walk under a lucky star.


    1. It’s the luck of the drunks.

      He’s been close to it so many times and somehow always gets away with it.

      He once launched angry tirade at a uniformed, armed cop who was sitting having a cup of coffee at a table next to the bar. We reckon if the cop had known what he was saying he would have shot him. As it was we all moved away so that we didn’t catch any stray bullets.

      General consensus is that it’s only matter of time before his luck runs out….


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