Jomtien, 23rd April, 2010

Wan was very upset when I told her that I didn’t want to see her any more.

She told me that she was prepared to live with me in Pattaya, and that she was planning to come and meet me here to discuss everything with me

She that unless I had another girlfriend she was sure we could sort things out. So I decided the best thing I could do was to come clean, because at least it would bring the affair to finality, even though it would probably hurt her more than I wished to.

When I told her about Tan, she was very upset and very angry. She said she now realised that I was a very bad person and she didn’t blame my wife for all the things  she had done to me – she said I deserved it. She also said that all Englishmen are bastards and that she would never trust another one.

I guess it was all predictable, and I feel very sad about it all. But when all is said and done, yes I  have probably hurt her a lot and dashed her dreams that I would be her personal, ‘on-stream ATM’.

When I was with her, I was more than generous so she has little really to complain about.

I haven’t heard from her since that tirade, so I hope and assume she had come to terms with it all.

Now to Tan.

Tan has just turned twenty two, she comes from Nakhon Sawan, so she is not ethnic Issan, and does not speak Isaan.

She is a very eye-catching dark skinned girl with a lovely sexy figure and a flair for dressing in an eye-catching manner. I have never seen her  badly dressed.

She speaks and reads  fair to good English, which was mainly mainly learned from school, and as such she has a strong Thai accent.

Tan is a feisty girl, (as I like them), but has a nice, generous, thoughtful nature and invariably sports an infectious smile. She is confident and knows what she wants in life.

Tan graduated from High school in Nakhon Sawan and attended college in Bangkok to study accountancy.

Unfortunately, like so many before her, she shacked up with a Thai man who got her pregnant, which meant that her boyfriend sought sexual comfort elsewhere. By the time the the baby was born her boyfriend had found a new woman and was a bad memory.

She was devastated, took her baby back home to live and dropped out of college.

Tan comes from a large family, all of which as far as I can determine, are quite well to do. She has a twin sister who is still at school and another sister who goes to university in Bangkok.

Her parents are substantial land owners, and they all have quality houses and drive modern vehicles.

When Tan had been living at home for a few months, one of her distant relatives, an elder woman who was married to an Englishman, came to see her and asked her if she would be interested in working with her at a new bar she was opening on Mabprachan Lake.

Tan had always been the family ‘rebel’. For example, when she was thirteen, she decided to dye her hair blond and her mother nearly had a fit and made her change it back to black.

She has also had several tattoos, has a stud in her tongue, and a ring in her stomach. All this had been carried out  with stealth, against her family’s wishes.

Now she wanted to go to Pattaya with her ‘aunt’ but her mother refused to let her go. So when her mother went out one day, Tan packed her clothes and followed her aunt to Pattaya. This was almost exactly a year ago.

She stared working in the bar/restaurant last April and worked there for ten months, before stopping work when she found , what she thought, was a new, long term boyfriend, a young man from England.

I first met Tan very soon after she started work, and we immediately hit it off. I was keen on her from day one, but I couldn’t really follow up as I was still living at home with Dang, although by that time it was a question of ‘when’, not ‘if’ I would be leaving home.

I did take Tan out to Pattaya a couple of times for a meal, but always returned her to the bar after the date and went home.

I was planing to follow up seriously with Tan, once I had left home. I saw her quite often at her bar and we also kept in touch by sms. The plan was for us to take a brief holiday in Nakhon Sawn and then take it from there.

In the event, I was so traumatized when I finally left home last July that I didn’t want to see anyone, and I even put my phone on permanent voice mail so that no-one could call me. Tan tried a few times and then gave up.

It was after this that she found a new boyfriend, and by the time I reappeared on the scene, Tan was working as a cook in the restaurant as she no longer wished to be a bar girl in view of her new relationship.

The boyfriend was back in England, sending her money every month and after a while, Tan decided to move back home to look after her daughter and await her boyfriend’s return to Thailand.

Something went wrong and the relationship started to founder. Tan decided to break it off and one day she sent me an sms.

This was the start of an ‘on again’ off again’ period for us as we kept agreeing to meet, but she would cancel out at the last moment.

The old relationship was in its death throes and Tan was confused.

Finally she broke it off completely and our communications increased. All of these events led to me to make the decision to go and see her at her home in Nakhon Sawan last week,which resulted in me bringing her back to Pattaya.

Many of my readers have strongly advised me to stay alone and just pay for sex when I need it, and cannot understand my desire to always have someone living with me.

This is good advice but I doubt I can ever take it.

Many men, and I am certainly one, can never live alone for any period of time. If we do, we become depressed, very lonely and invariably end up doing harmful things to ourselves, such as excessive drinking or taking drugs.

I cannot explain why, but as long as I have a ‘live-in’, however bad she may be, I am much happier and the worst excesses of my behaviour are curtailed.

We have been together one week, and so far so good. She is a really nice girl and I have been happy with her. We have been out several times both as a couple and with friends and I have enjoyed socializing in places other than girlie bars, for the first time in years.

Tan wishes to go back to college to resume her accounting studies and today she registered at a local college which will involve full time attendance when the new term commences next month.

This is fine by me as it will give us both space, and she will be able to mix with people of her own age. As it is, she already has quite a few friends in Pattaya, who I am encouraging her to spend time with.

When she is with me, we have ‘real’ conversations, and I believe we get on well with each other.

I completely understand the basis of this relationship and I am content. I fully appreciate that it will probably turn ‘pear shaped’ at some point, but until that happens I will enjoy myself and try to get my life under control.

I have know so many Thai ladies in my life, and I know that I will have good shot with this one. She is genuinely nice and I believe she will stick by her side of the deal.

So far, with good reason, she is much more concerned that I will break the deal.

So, gentle readers, don’t hold back…. tell me what an idiot I am…..


MARDIE (Part 7)

Mardie had told me on the telephone that she might find it difficult to meet me at the airport as he had a prior engagement. I assured her that she shouldn’t worry about it, as by now I knew the way and in any case I wanted to show her that I was perfectly capable of getting there by myself.

(One of the many sources of conflict between us was the fact that I would argue about the correct way to go somewhere invariably i would get lost).

I navigated my way to her apartment in Queens successfully, but was somewhat put out when her flat mate answered the door and advised me that Mardie was not home.

As I hadn’t seen Mardie for more than two months it didn’t bode well that she wasn’t home to greet me, even though she had suggested as much when she said she might not be able to come to the airport. Her flat mate let me in and told me that Mardie would be back in an hour or so.

I asked her where she was, but received a monosyllabic reply which told me nothing; so I sat down, feeling very weary and disappointed to wait.

Sure enough, an hour later Mardie arrived home, escorted by a smart looking guy in a suit, who was introduced to me before making a quick exit.

Mardie apologised for not being there and explained that she was out with the ‘date’ and they were held up badly in traffic in upstate New York.


Things went from bad to worse when Mardie told me that I could spend the night at her place but tomorrow I would have to move as her flatmate had objected to me staying there, even just for a week or so.

Things were not going well at all and no amount of entreaties from me would change her mind, so I became resigned to finding somewhere to stay on the following morning.

Mardie told me that tomorrow, which was Saturday, she would take me downtown and help me find a cheap room, and with that both women disappeared to their bedrooms and left me to kip on the sofa for the night.

So it was with a heavy heart that we lugged all my belongings onto the subway, and travelled downtown where, after a quick look around some seedy hotels I finally settled for a cheap room in the YMCA.

As soon as I had checked in, Mardie gave me a quick peck on the cheek, told me she had a pre- arranged appointment and that I could come over and see her the next day, but I should call first to make sure she was home.

I sat in my room wondering what the hell I had got myself into, but I was young, naïve and full of optimism and decided to make the best of it. I resolved to do my utmost to see if I could recapture my beloved’s obvious lack of feelings for me.

So the next day I called ahead and once again Mardie was out, but her flat mate told me to come on over and that Mardie would be back later.

Somewhat to my surprise, Mardie was there when I arrived, but she looked very glum and serious and I feared the worst.

She told me that she didn’t want to say anything when I arrived yesterday as I was very tired from my journey, but that she had been thinking about our relationship a lot lately and thought it better if we didn’t see each other for a while. She said that I should go to Montreal, find somewhere to live, get a job and once I was settled than I could call her and then maybe I could come back for a visit.

She said that my life was too unsettled and in any case she was very busy at work and wouldn’t be able to spend much time with me.

I asked her about her other ‘dates’, but she insisted that she had no serious boyfriends. She said that she had a few men friends’’ who took her out on dates but they were all casual relationships and that she hadn’t slept with any of them.

I tried to argue with her and suggested I stayed for at least a week, but she told me that the whole worry of me uprooting my life and coming to the USA had been getting her down. She was getting a lot of migraines and that the stress of it all had caused her to break out in acne, which I could see, was a fact.

We argued back and forth for a while, but the discussion was becoming increasingly acrimonious, and the end I acceded to her suggestion and took off back to my room at the ‘Y’ to sort out my bus journey to Montreal.

Mardie had agreed that we could keep in touch by telephone, and that once I was settled then I would be welcome to come over for weekend for a visit.

This seemed to be the best I could hope for in the circumstances, but I was far from a ‘happy camper’ when I made my way to the Greyhound bus terminal two evenings later,  for the overnight trip to Montreal Canada and the start of my new life – all alone.

All went well until we arrived at the Canadian border.

First the American customs and immigration officers entered the bus, gave us a quick perusal and disappeared shortly after.

The bus drove on a few yards to the Canadian side and the Canadian officials entered the bus.

Of course there was a daily free flow of people over the border with Canad. The Americans and Canadians were not required to carry passports. Everyone was asked to verify their identity by showing a social security card, a driving license, or indeed, any document with their name and address on it.

When they came to me I showed them my British passport. I was asked the purpose of my visit to Canada, and I told them that I was an immigrant. The officer looked at my passport again and asked me if I had an immigrant visa. When I told him that I planned to apply when I got to Montreal, he looked at me with suspicion, and asked me to accompany him off the bus.

I asked him about my luggage, and he told me that the bus would wait for me.

I was led into a room where I told to sit to await the arrival of another, more senior immigration officer.

He was a big bastard and very aggressive. He was holding my passport in his hand and suggested that it was a forgery! I was completely taken aback, and assured him that it was the genuine article.

He examined it again in great detail and the suggested that the photograph didn’t look much like me. I had had the passport a few years and my photograph showed me with a short haircut, whereas now, in keeping with the fashion of the late sixties, my hair was almost down to my shoulders – I was a veritable hippy.

He then accused me of being an American draft dodger from the Vietnam War. Apparently there had been thousands of draft dodgers who had fled across the border and were now living secretly in Canada.

I asked him if I sounded like an American, but when that didn’t impress him I searched in my hand baggage and found a few documents that I hoped would convince him I was English.

He examined them in silence, and then slowly handed them back to me.

“OK Mac.. you’re not a Yank. But why are you going to Canada?”

I repeated my statement that I wanted to apply for an immigrant visa as I wanted to settle in Montreal and work there.

He looked at me and said: “Where are you going to live?”

“I don’t know”.

“Where are you going to work?”

“I don’t have a job yet.”

“What’s you line of work?”

“I’m an accountant.”

This response seemed to impress him and his unfriendly glare seemed to relax a little.

“An accountant, hmm…. Show me your qualifications.”

“I don’t have any, I’m only partly qualified”.

His manner turned sour again.

“You’re an accountant with no qualifications…. Ok buster, how much money have you got with you? Show me.”

I pulled out my wallet. I was carrying about fifty pounds. He wasn’t very impressed, so I tried to explain to him that due to UK foreign exchange regulations I wasn’t allowed to take much money out of the England but that as soon as I became settled and was able to open a Canadian Bank account, I would be able to transfer funds from my account in England to my new account in Canada.

He didn’t seem to understand what I was trying to tell him and I had to repeat it three times, but he still looked at me as though he didn’t believe a word I had said.

Finally, he asked: “So – you have some proof of this money plan?”

I told him that I had some documents in my suitcase that should prove what I was telling him was true.

With that, he stood up and called another officer over. He gave the officer my passport and bus ticket and asked him to go and remove my bags from the bus.

“What about the bus?” I asked. Will they still wait for me?”

“No buster the bus is leaving now, and you are staying here.

You have no visa, no job, you don’t know where you’re gonna live,and you ain’t got no money.

I am not at all sure that we will allow you into Canada, and frankly, I doubt if you will be allowed back into the States, so you may be in for quite a stay at our little border jail!”

8 thoughts on “Jomtien, 23rd April, 2010”

  1. Also feel sorry for Wan.

    I’m sure you don’t need this explaining to you, but a Thai girl introducing a guy to their family is a big deal, no matter what part of society they’re from. Like it or not, you’re as good as getting engaged.

    Sounds like you’ve already met Tan’s parents also. Rock n roll.


  2. 41 years younger than you and you think you have a good shot ?

    Mobi, I do understand the need to be with someone, no matter how destructive it may be, but c’mon, don’t you think a 22 year old is a bit young for you ?

    And don’t you think an unfit 63 year old is too old for her, what can you possibly have in common, apart from her wanting your money, and you needing someone to give your money to ?

    You already stated how she let you down before, what has changed ?

    You’re on the slippery slope again, then again, you already know that.

    Again, I’ll advise you to move back in with Dang, enjoy the house, pool, dogs and become friends with her again, then again, Dang gets drunk and violent, so maybe it’s best not to.

    Ever thought about becoming a monk ? 🙂

    Cheers Mobi, look forward to the next installment.


  3. Live life on the downside of middle age to enjoy while you can. We never know at what stage we will have the ability to enjoy taken away. Live for the moment and disregard those views that wish to block your enjoyment. It is YOUR life to do with as you see fit….


  4. Mobi. I have read your blog and wish I could help you. Its a very moving story as you have told it. I am hooked to see how it evolves.

    Something occurs to me that may or may not assist.

    You often talk of relationships and girlfriends. You describe yourself as a sugar daddy to Tan.

    Another way of looking at what you describe as girlfriends is that they are actually self employed service providers and you are just a customer.
    If you look at your various bedmates and companions in that light you will see that their behaviour is perfectly rational within their frame of reference. You are merely a customer, though I have no doubt, a very good paying customer. So good, in fact, that its worth playing the long game with you rather than the short.
    All of your Thai ladies have behaved as Thai culture and values would predict.
    It is usually a delusion to think you are dealing with a girlfriend/boyfriend ‘relationship’ in the western sense.

    Why not simply tell your current lady (and the next ones as they arrive) that they are employees whose job it is to take care of Mobi in every way required. In return you will take care of them financially with a salary and perks. The exact terms are of course ‘up to you’.

    The going rate for live in carers varies throughout Pattaya. Somewhere in the range of 6k to 20k baht per month with occasional small gifts, but absolutely ‘no sick buffaloes’. You tell them you are not a bank, you are not a charity. You are sorry to hear about the latest tragedy in the village but everyone has problems. If more money is needed then a new job with a new employer is called for.

    This businesslike approach might lead to a less dramatic and tortured series of future encounters.

    After all its only pussy. No one dies. No one apart from you and your employee really gives a damn. Its only Thai lady bullshit and acting. Thay are brilliant at it.
    Thats why many farangs love to be here.

    Good luck with Tan. She sounds interesting. Maybe you could let us know when she is next available for rent?


  5. You are indeed an idiot!

    You know how this will end – it’s not rocket science.

    Best case scenario is she screws you for the college money and gets a college Thai boyfriend on the side then dumps you when her education is complete.

    This tattooed, pierced, rebellious wildchild is hardly going to be faithful is she. To her it’s the choice of one customer (you) or many.

    If you don’t mind that, then go for it. If you think there is more, could ever be more, then all the Thai women you have known have taught you nothing.


  6. Wow Moby

    Well good luck with the new girl but…….

    You know from all you said about Wan she was nice & did not really need to be crushed in the end did she?

    When asked you could of course say you were continuing to see girls but to say you have a new girl friend not only is a stretch but hurt Wan needlessly IMHO

    But that is your business not mine…I just felt a bit sorry for Wan

    As for Tan…well good luck of course but age 22 ? ouch….

    Also stopping in coincidentally on the way back from dumping Wan? I know you say you need a companion & your not the type to be alone but sheesh…perhaps a day or two at least to have collected your thoughts about Wan etc.

    Almost seems as if your subconsciously using Tan to escape Wan…Along with the *sudden* atm realization

    …except I think you always knew in your/most cases atm is a big part of it all anyway. As are most encounters in LOS
    hell not just LOS but world wide women look for a good provider it is human nature. but….

    At the same time Wan initially seemed nice & you were more than happy to help. Then when she gets a bit use to it along with some requests for a commitment other than $$$ you bolted.

    That is all fine & well of course but it seems as if you want to describe it or justify it in other terms.

    Its all good & you know I love reading your blog. It is very honest & no matter what I know from reading it all your a good guy…albeit with a lot of baggage/scaring of life’s battles.

    Good Luck to you & I wish you good luck & good health.


  7. C’mon man – you on acid or booze?. 22 year old college drop out due to pregnancy when at what age?. Tongue studs, tattoos, decent family?. Work in a bar?. 22 year old taking up with a self confessed 60 year old alcoholic?.

    I know Nakhon Sawan really well and have done so for 14 years – everybody knows everybody’s business there. Ask around for an answer, but I assume as you live in Pattaya you never bothered to learn Thai?.

    You’ve been happy for a week?. Whoopee, a whole week.
    Mobi you are obviously running after the end of the rainbow man, it doesn’t exist – take a break, get yourself together and take off the rose tinted specs : Booze does that, and don’t I just know it. My Thai working compatriots got me sorted out as it was just getting tooooooooooo easy for that 9.30am beer. First 4 days are difficult for sure, but all you need is support and it is nice when people are concerned about you.

    It won’t happen with people less than half your age.

    This isn’t a dig, but have a think, go to a nice place alone ; have you considered the famous Wat (Not too far from Pattaya) that is famous for ridding people of addictions?. They have foreigners working there but you do need a degree of self discipline.

    Can see the next train wreck on the way already…………………


    1. Hi TT,

      You don’t seem to have read my blog very thoroughly, as I have stated many times that I do indeed speak pretty good Thai.

      Indeed, two of my wives, including Dang, didn’t speak a single word of Englsih when I met them and all our conversations were in Thai.

      I could hardly drive all over Thailand and stay in villages by myself if I didn’t speak Thai, and even on my recent jaunts to Roi Et and Nakhon Sawan I had to use my Thai 99% of the time to communicate with the folk there – including family and friends.

      So I’m not quite so stupid and lacking in knowledge of Thais and Thailand as you may imagine.

      Again from my blog you should know that I first came here in 1973, worked in Bangkok for eight years in the late seventies, early eighties and have been coming here frequently ever since, having owned a house in Bang Saen (where in those days not a single person in the town spoke any English) and more recently living in Bangkok before moving to Pattaya.

      My Thailand experience covers more than 35 years, including well over twenty years of living here, and many more months visiting.

      Everything I have written about Tan is correct and my assessment of her family is spot on. I mentioned the tongue stud, tatoos etc in an effort to illustrate that she was the family rebel – the ‘black sheep’ if you like of an otherwise respectable, upper middle class family. But she is only 22, and I believe she genuinely wants to change and be a responsible adult. I am the sugar daddy” and am quite happy in that role.

      We shall see how it all pans out.

      Thank you for reading my blog



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