I have spent the last three days in Bangkok with Bob, Dave and Wan and returned late this afternoon.
I will catch up on what’s been happening in my life tomorrow – God willing.
Right now, I will deal with some irritating attacks on Mobi’s integrity.
Of BMW’s, White Van man, and sms’s.
My oh my! I do seem to have stirred up a hornet’s nest with some of my dedicated readers, who are so dedicated to taking offence that they never bother to read carefully what I have written and accuse me of all kinds of dastardly crimes, and God knows what else!
I must say the funniest criticism was from the guy who said I could call Pete a “cunt” or even worse, (maybe: a “bastard”, a “shit face”, a “Holy Mother fucker” or even the “spawn of the devil incarnate”), but may God forgive me if I stoop so low as to disparage him by accusing him of being – horror upon horror, may my soul rot in Hell – a “White Van Man!!!!”.
I mean…. Really! We are talking about a man who has intimidated his wife for three years, abused her in the worst possible manner, has threatened destruction of her property, (arson) and even threatened murder.
And what did poor Mobi do? Try to make him feel a bit small by calling him a “White Van man”. Oh my God! Anything but that! If I was England I’d probably be hung drawn and quartered and cast into a pit full of ravenous wolves for committing such a dastardly sin.
I said it because I suspected to cowardly little weasel of a bully might be a bit upset. I might just have been right.
Now let’s get this clear. I used that epithet because I knew he would not like it, just the same as in past I have called other ‘wankers’ things like: “Jumped up Hooray Henry’s”, because I knew that the particular appellation fitted the bill, and so on. I use whatever it takes to achieve the desired result.
If you read my story, you will know that I came from humble beginnings and was brought up in an East London council flat by a monster of a father who didn’t do a day’s work for most of his married life and we lived just above the poverty line.
I came from nothing and achieved something, before women and booze got the better of me. I have little to be proud of and I have no feelings whatsoever, one way or another, about white van men. I am sure many of them are hard working, decent men who are not cowardly bullies and take proper care of their families, and good luck to them.
I have no idea why some of you immediately jump on your high horses and castigate me for looking down on these White Van Men – because I don’t and never have and have already stated this several times in my blog.
So gentlemen, please read what I say – before flaming me.
Now to the beamer. I have driven beamers for most of my life and love them. That is one of my things. I like driving beautiful fast cars and get great pleasure from it. Others will say that there a much better, faster cars than beamers, and they are probably right, but my love is the beamer.
When I came back to Thailand, I first had a Ford Escape, then a Fortuner, and then decided that I wanted a decent car – something a bit different. I test drove a new Toyota Camry, a Honda Accord a Nissan Teana among others. The Accord was closest to what I wanted, and I almost placed an order, when on whim I popped into the BMW showroom and had a run in the new BMW 320D.
I was immediately sold. It is a wonderful piece of German machinery, and I absolutely love driving it. I thought long and hard about the high price, but decided, if I could afford it, then why not indulge myself?
I have never regretted it for one moment, even though my finances since have taken a severe nose dive, and if I was choosing new car now I would never buy something so expensive.
It is a great, fun machine, with incredible acceleration, the best braking system I have ever had on a vehicle, small enough to navigate the narrowest sois, yet big enough to accommodate 5 adults comfortably, with a surprisingly large boot.
I can accelerate my way out of problems on the road, and I can stop on a sixpence, and with airbags all over the place it is one of the safest vehicles on the road.
OF course there is a “bling” factor – I would be lying if I didn’t admit it. But apart from impressing the girls, (who then ask for more money!), and being generally waved on by the cops at road blocks, I really don’t give a fuck about who is or isn’t impressed. That is not why I bought it. I bought it because I love Beamers, and I enjoy driving them. I’m just telling you the way it is.
Yes, many Thais are impressed when they see it, and tell me so. So what? I didn’t say that it made me “feel good” did I? I was simply stating a fact. I didn’t suggest that people should think better of me because I own a BMW, did I? But every time I mention that I have a beamer, someone immediately takes umbrage; all these envious little farangs driving their Honda motorcycles and second hand Jazz’s come out of the woodwork, spitting bile, and writing such invective as:
“If you really get off on people smiling at you because of the car you drive you’re a sadder, lonelier person than I thought. Pathetic doesn’t come close.”
“but thinking they like or respect you or that you are a decent person simply because someone looks at your car is fooling yourself.”
Sadly to say I am not jealous as I would not bother with a BMW, my wife and I don’t need status symbols to appreciate the lifestyle we have.
So, Messrs “Lloyd” and “Someone”, pray show me where I said : “I get off on people smiling at me”?
I simply told you what happened – I didn’t say what my reaction was, because it wasn’t relevant, but you immediately jumped to the conclusion that I sitting there enjoying the compliments. I actually think they are a bit pathetic, but I don’t really give a shit one way or another what they say or think. I have been round the block too many times to take much notice of such ignorant behaviour.
And where did I claim that “people like or respect me or that I am a decent person”? You are simply putting words into my mouth that I never wrote, but you seem to be so consumed by your feelings of inadequacy and jealousy,as soon as I mention the BMW, I can only assume that you instantly start to hate me and everything you think I represent.
I never dreamt that my blog would generate so much resentment and nasty feelings, and I am seriously considering giving up the whole thing, because I have done nothing but put my very imperfect life out there for all to see with as much honesty as I can muster. Yet, I get these hurtful flames, putting words and thoughts into my head that never existed.
Anyway, Lloyd and Someone, for my own peace of mind I will not publish any more of your comments. I just don’t need that aggravation on top of all my other problems.
As for my sms’s to Pete…..
Well… he called Wan on Friday, just before he left for the UK.
He was very polite and asked her if she would let him see Jasper when he returned to Thailand. Wan replied yes, provided he didn’t try and make any more trouble. Then he asked to speak to Jasper and Wan handed the phone over to her son and she translated for Pete in a brief chat with his son. Pete promised that he would behave in the future and thanked Wan for what she had said and done.
Pete is not going to try anything with me – he is a snivelling little coward and he thought he could bully Wan and have his own way.
He now knows he can’t and I am sure he will toe the line. I am not in the least bit scared of him, and if he ever steps out of line again then he will have me to deal with and I have my own ways of handling these situations. He is the one who needs to be worried – not me.
I have just read Sven’s comment and as a trusted friend who I have known through the internet for a number of years, I have to say that I am at an all time low.
I now realise that this blog was not a good idea. I thought it would be therapeutic for me and maybe it might help someone along the way who may learn from my mistakes, but that was probably far too presumptuous and arrogant of me.
I have tried to be honest, hide nothing and call a “spade a spade”. But everyone immediately shits on me from a great height without even bothering to read what I have written properly.
It shows me that trying to write an honest, ‘no holds barred’, blog is a complete waste of time, because many readers will simply take what they want from it, and spit back abuse at the author, without a care in the world as to the effect that it might have on him. I feel that they sadly lack any sincerity or integrity.
I might write again, but right now I am at a cross roads in my life and it could go either way.
Wan is the most amazingly good person I have ever met in my life, and I don’t deserve her.
My alcoholism is in danger of not only taking me down, but her as well, so I may have to make some difficult decisions in the next few days.
So this may be farewell… to the blog and who knows what else…..