Jomtien, 4th April, 2010

I have spent the last three days in Bangkok with Bob, Dave and Wan and returned late this afternoon.

I will catch up on what’s been happening in my life tomorrow – God willing.

Right now, I will deal with some irritating attacks on Mobi’s integrity.


Of BMW’s, White Van man, and sms’s.


My oh my! I do seem to have stirred up a hornet’s nest with some of my dedicated readers, who are so dedicated to taking offence that they never bother to read carefully what I have written and accuse me of all kinds of dastardly crimes, and God knows what else!

I must say the funniest criticism was from the guy who said I could call Pete a “cunt” or even worse, (maybe: a “bastard”, a “shit face”, a “Holy Mother fucker” or even the “spawn of the devil incarnate”), but may God forgive me if I stoop so low as to disparage him by accusing him of being – horror upon horror, may my soul rot in Hell – a “White Van Man!!!!”.

I mean…. Really! We are talking about a man who has intimidated his wife for three years, abused her in the worst possible manner, has threatened destruction of her property, (arson) and even threatened murder.

And what did poor Mobi do? Try to make him feel a bit small by calling him a “White Van man”. Oh my God! Anything but that! If I was England I’d probably be hung drawn and quartered and cast into a pit full of ravenous wolves for committing such a dastardly sin.

I said it because I suspected to cowardly little weasel of a bully might be a bit upset. I might just have been right.

Now let’s get this clear. I used that epithet because I knew he would not like it, just the same as in past I have called other ‘wankers’ things like: “Jumped up Hooray Henry’s”, because I knew that the particular appellation fitted the bill, and so on. I use whatever it takes to achieve the desired result.

If you read my story, you will know that I came from humble beginnings and was brought up in an East London council flat by a monster of a father who didn’t do a day’s work for most of his married life and we lived just above the poverty line.

I came from nothing and achieved something, before women and booze got the better of me. I have little to be proud of and I have no feelings whatsoever, one way or another, about white van men. I am sure many of them are hard working, decent men who are not cowardly bullies and take proper care of their families, and good luck to them.

I have no idea why some of you immediately jump on your high horses and castigate me for looking down on these White Van Men – because I don’t and never have and have already stated this several times in my blog.

So gentlemen, please read what I say –  before flaming me.

Now to the beamer. I have driven beamers for most of my life and love them. That is one of my things. I like driving beautiful fast cars and get great pleasure from it. Others will say that there a much better, faster cars than beamers, and they are probably right, but my love is the beamer.

When I came back to Thailand, I first had a Ford Escape, then a Fortuner, and then decided that I wanted a decent car – something a bit different. I test drove a new Toyota Camry, a Honda Accord a Nissan Teana among others. The Accord was closest to what I wanted, and I almost placed an order, when on whim I popped into the BMW showroom and had a run in the new BMW 320D.

I was immediately sold. It is a wonderful piece of German machinery, and I absolutely love driving it. I thought long and hard about the high price, but decided, if I could afford it, then why not indulge myself?

I have never regretted it for one moment, even though my finances since have taken a severe nose dive, and if I was choosing new car now I would never buy something so expensive.

It is a great, fun machine, with incredible acceleration, the best braking system I have ever had on a vehicle, small enough to navigate the narrowest sois, yet big enough to accommodate 5 adults comfortably, with a surprisingly large boot.

I can accelerate my way out of problems on the road, and I can stop on a sixpence, and with airbags all over the place it is one of the safest vehicles on the road.

OF course there is a “bling” factor – I would be lying if I didn’t admit it. But apart from impressing the girls, (who then ask for more money!), and being generally waved on by the cops at road blocks, I really don’t give a fuck about who is or isn’t impressed.  That is not why I bought it. I bought it because I love Beamers, and I enjoy driving them. I’m just telling you the way it is.

Yes, many Thais are impressed when they see it, and tell me so. So what? I didn’t say that it made me “feel good” did I? I was simply stating a fact. I didn’t suggest that people should think better of me because I own a BMW, did I? But every time I mention that I have a beamer, someone immediately takes umbrage; all these envious little farangs driving their Honda motorcycles and second hand Jazz’s come out of the woodwork, spitting bile, and writing such invective as:

“If you really get off on people smiling at you because of the car you drive you’re a sadder, lonelier person than I thought. Pathetic doesn’t come close.”

and:

“but thinking they like or respect you or that you are a decent person simply because someone looks at your car is fooling yourself.”

Sadly to say I am not jealous as I would not bother with a BMW, my wife and I don’t need status symbols to appreciate the lifestyle we have.

So, Messrs “Lloyd” and “Someone”, pray show me where I said : “I get off on people smiling at me”?

I simply told you what happened – I didn’t say what my reaction was, because it wasn’t relevant, but you immediately jumped to the conclusion that I sitting there enjoying the compliments. I actually think they are a bit pathetic, but I don’t really give a shit one way or another what they say or think. I have been round the block too many times to take much notice of such ignorant behaviour.

And where did I claim that “people like or respect me or that I am a decent person”? You are simply putting words into my mouth that I never wrote, but you seem to be  so consumed by your feelings of inadequacy and jealousy,as soon as I mention the BMW, I can only assume that you instantly start to hate me and everything you think I represent.

I never dreamt that my blog would generate so much resentment and nasty feelings, and I am seriously considering giving up the whole thing, because I have done nothing but put my very imperfect life out there for all to see with as much honesty as I can muster. Yet, I get these hurtful flames, putting words and thoughts into my head that never existed.

Anyway, Lloyd and Someone, for my own peace of mind I will not publish any more of your comments. I just don’t need that aggravation on top of all my other problems.

As for my sms’s to Pete…..

Well… he called Wan on Friday, just before he left for the UK.

He was very polite and asked her if she would let him see Jasper when he returned to Thailand. Wan replied yes, provided he didn’t try and make any more trouble. Then he asked to speak to Jasper and Wan handed the phone over to her son and she translated for Pete in a brief chat with his son. Pete promised that he would behave in the future and thanked Wan for what she had said and done.

Pete is not going to try anything with me – he is a snivelling little coward and he thought he could bully Wan and have his own way.

He now knows he can’t and I am sure he will toe the line. I am not in the least bit scared of him, and if he ever steps out of line again then he will have me to deal with and I have my own ways of handling these situations. He is the one who needs to be worried – not me.


Post script:

I have just read Sven’s comment and as a trusted friend who I have known through the internet for a number of years, I have to say that I am at an all time low.

I now realise that this blog was not a good idea. I thought it would be therapeutic for me and maybe it might help someone along the way who may learn from my mistakes, but that was probably far too presumptuous and arrogant of me.

I have tried to be honest, hide nothing and call a “spade a spade”. But everyone immediately shits on me from a great height without even bothering to read what I have written properly.

It shows me that trying to write an honest, ‘no holds barred’,  blog is a complete waste of time, because many readers will simply take what they want from it, and spit back abuse at the author, without a care in the world as to the effect that it might have on him. I feel that they sadly lack any sincerity or integrity.

I might write again, but right now I am at a cross roads in my life and it could go either way.

Wan is the most amazingly good person I have ever met in my life, and I don’t deserve her.

My alcoholism is in danger of not only taking me down, but her as well, so I may have to make some difficult decisions in the next few days.

So this may be farewell… to the blog and who knows what else…..


Signing off….


Mobi.


11 thoughts on “Jomtien, 4th April, 2010”

  1. You are a very talented writer Mobi. It would be a great pity if you stopped now. I have enjoyed every word you have written. You have achieved more in your life than most and the criticisms you refer to ought to be like water off a ducks back.
    Who cares what other people think? Its your life not theirs.

    Having said that I am a bit reluctant to comment on your latest relationship but nevertheless I will. (Ignore it if you don’t like what I say, after all, what do I know?)

    The life story that Wan told you was very familiar. It was a variation on the regular ‘He no good, he boxing me. He butterfly. He no take care’. These phrases seem to be in the Thai ladies ‘How to get farang sponsors courses 101’.

    They know how we think much better than vice versa and the Thai way is to tell you what you want to hear. Put that together with a certain economy with the facts and hey presto, another ATM buffalo is ringed and tamed.

    Farangs have a tendency to fill in he gaps with their own values and beliefs and end up with version that may be full of inconsistencies but so great is their need to be a White Knight that all this is overlooked.

    Wan may be everything you say she is. My girl is also different lol but you have related only one side of the story. It probably looks completely different to Pete.

    Good luck with your relationship and good luck with your ongoing battle with the booze. You have made such a success of some aspects of your life that you can surely work out a way to overcome the present problems and triumph in the end.

    Its going to make a great book. Please don’t stop now.

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    1. Thank you for your kind comments.

      As far as Wan is concerned, I may be a bit of a glutton for punishment, but please give me credit, after 35 years, 5 wives and dozens of Thai girl friends, that I do have a pretty good idea of who is lying to me and who is telling the truth.

      I always knew my current wife, Dang was lying to me almost from day one, as all the others did before her, but Wan is definitely different, and everyone who meets her, agrees with me, including my friends Bob and Dave, who told me I would have to be completely crazy to let her go. (and believe me they have both been around the block with Thai girls theme selves over the past 35 years)

      She doesn’t say “he no good”, “he boxing me” etc, because she speaks incredibly good, clear grammatically correct English and she has an excellent vocabulary. Everything she says about her husband stacks up in every way, and in my brief experience of Pete’s behavior (manhandling her mother, threatening arson and even murder) only goes to confirm that everything she has told me about him must be true.

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  2. Hey chill out, the guys are spending the time to read you blog so how cutting them a bit of slack. Nobody put words in your mouth what the guys said was harsh but pretty much on the ball, like what your mate Sven said. Take a few days break, have a beer or two with your girlfriend and turn the comments off for a while then when your rested and the dusts has settled think about it with a clear head. FWIW I gotta agree with guys I dont think you should get involved as the lads not your kid and if Wan is as good a lady as you say she will soon sort it out for herself, you getting involved will only make it hard on her.

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    1. Thank you for your friendly comments Dave, but with respect, I have to say that you, like the others, have missed the point.

      They have put words in my mouth – that is why I am upset.

      I have explained till I am blue in the face all this nonsense about White Van men and beamers, and I am still accused of holding views and opinions which I simply do not hold and never said that I did.

      Sorry, but this continues to irk me. If they are going to read what I write, then at least read it properly before hurling churlish insults at me. Otherwise, better not to read it.

      That’s not too unreasonable is it?

      As for my’ interference’ with Pete, I believe I have behaved in a responsible and effective manner from start to finish.

      When Pete wanted to see Jasper before he went back to The UK., I composed a very polite sms in Wan’s name telling him that she was very sorry but it would not be possible as they were away on holiday and further assured Pete that he would be more than welcome to spend time with Jasper on his next trip to Thailand. Did I do anything wrong here? I think not.

      I only sent the abusive messages when he started his own nonsense in response to Wan’s polite sms, and as far as I can see, it did the trick.

      Pete called Wan before leaving for the UK, was as polite as he could be, and Wan assured him he could see Jasper when he came back to Thailand, as long as he didn’t make trouble, and Pete thanked her and promised he would behave.

      Now I ask you? Could I have asked for a better outcome?

      I am not and will not interfere with this father/son relationship as long as Pete behaves in a civilized manner and doesn’t threaten or harm Wan or her family, but in the meantime I am treating like my foster son as he clearly needs a father figure, and has become very affectionate in the few weeks he has known me.

      I really don’t know what else you expect of me.

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      1. Take a break Mobi all is good and it sounds like everything ended well. I dont beleive the guys put words in your mouth as it was your response that mentioned your BMW, the way you responded implied a lot. You obviously never meant it like that but thats the way it reads, take a look at Svens response he obviously knows you and got the same impression. I know Lloyd as an acquaintance and used to read his blog when he was writing, sure he can be a prick and needs to tone down his feelings before he touches the keyboard but the guys far from stupid, he was probably having just as abad a day as you. Take care and chill out, tomorrows a new day, keep up the writing!

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      2. Thank you Dave, yet again.

        As for Lloyd, well after reading your comments I went back and revisited all his comments. By his own admission he has only ‘half read’ my posts, but is very quick to shoot off the insults, even when he didn’t take the trouble to read the background to the subject under discussion.

        He has been particularly unpleasant and insulting in virtually all his posts from day one and clearly has an axe to grind, or maybe a chip on his shoulder. (I’m good at cliches). If I had realized this, I would have probably just ignored them or deleted them and saved myself a lot of angst.

        Yes I do believe that my comments on beamers were taken out of context and certainly have been misconstrued, but most of what I wrote was to refute LLoyd’s assertion that Thais are not impressed with people driving expensive cars, (even if they are driving a Roll’s Royce), could not be allowed to go unanswered, because he is manifestly wrong.

        Anyway, that is then end of it, and we shall see what we shall see…..

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  3. Hey Mobi !

    Hang in there & hope you continue to write.
    I love your story it is very interesting. Who cares why you bought a bimmer they are great cars. Also I do not know what a white van man is but I assume it is a derogatory remark & seems Wan’s X deserved that & more…no sweat.

    Hope you keep writing !
    Hang in there your a good guy & it is easy to tell by your honest writing. Dont assume to be what others claim.

    Hope you live happily ever after dude !!!!

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  4. Mobi,

    I just want to second the above from Wombat and Rebel.

    I too, hope you continue with your blog. But it’s a personal choice and if you feel uncomfortable, then of course you should stop.

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  5. Mobi

    I, for one, would be sad if you shut down your blog. I view it as a warning for my future.

    Sometime in the next 5 years I intend retiring & moving to Thailand to live. I love a drink & often drink to excess. Last Saturday being a recent example. The pitfalls you encounter are a reminder that I will need to keep occupied. Whether by learning Thai or regularly playing golf or by some other means.

    I am sure I am not alone in being interested in what happens to you. If you do not post for a few days then I find myself feeling concern for you.

    As for the matter of the Beamer it is a storm in a teacup. You bought it because you liked it & could afford to do so. Would I buy one? No. Not here or in Thaland. That is a personal choice. The posts criticising you come across as jealousy. Oh, & before anyone jumps in I can afford one. If I was going to piss money away on a new car it would be a HSV Commodore. Though I have always liked the look of Jags.

    I was a little offended by the white van man jibe though not enough to take you to task. I own 2 white vans for work. Many working men here used to wear a particular article of clothing in a particular colour. It was comfortable & practical. The clothing became known as wife beaters. Hardly fair.

    I would be careful dealing with Jasper’s father. These situations are always difficult. There are always 2 sides to every story & the truth invariably lies somewhere in the middle. I am not saying Pete is not a prick. He probably is. I have not seen or heard from my son for nearly 2 years. His mother & I split before he was born. Since that time I have paid a fortune to lawyers & in child support for the privilege of being slandered at every turn & having minimal contact with my son. I have now given up. Pete’s behaviour at Wan’s mothers house was unforgivable but I suggest you put it behind you. To defuse the situation I suggest you continue to act as a facillitator in Pete seeing Jasper. Naturally some ground rules would need to be established. Pete expecting you to travel 800km at short notice is certainly unreasonable. Perhaps I am too sensitive when it comes to father/children relationships.

    In closing I hope you continue with the blog. If not then I wish you all the best.

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  6. Mobi;

    Don’t get your panties in a wad, just when you are starting to show some real character without being self destructive in the process.

    Opinions are like arse holes and most stink. You take peoples comments far to serious to be healthy for you. If they are going to have this effect on you I would disable them completely before I stopped writing. But here again thats my stinky opinion.

    Like I said previously, my only concern is the drama involved in your posts. Your response only verifies that drama has been a steady ration in your life. I just gave you my slant on being a white van man. Truthfully I had never heard that term before I read it here and had to google it for a definition. Like you, I could give a rats ass what anybody else thinks about me or my job.

    I view my life as the tortoise and the hare, I’ve come along way at a slow and steady pace. My life is stable and I’m not concerned about the future because I have always lived a modest existence. I don’t owe anyone an explanation for my choices and neither do you.

    Whatever you decide is obviously up to you, but don’t expect every comment to be to your liking. Thats the whole point of comments, a different perspective, you don’t have to agree with or take them so personal.

    It doesn’t really matter what others think of you. What matters most is what you think of yourself. As far as others shitting on you, don’t worry they’ll never bury you because you can’t stack shit that high. ;^ ) just a joke Mobi, thats what men do, bust each others balls to keep each other humble warts and all.

    Peace

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    1. Thank you Rebel, peace to you too.

      I believe that if you read back through the countless comments in this blog, you will find that I have had no problem with publishing comments from those who disagree with me, and even from those who have effectively told me that I am a poor specimen of mankind. Everyone is entitled to thier opinion and I have no problem with it.

      The problem has arisen when people put words into my mouth that I never said. That is what upset me. They have twisted the truth for their own jealous and mean spirited purpose to have an unjustified ‘pop’ at me, and that is what I refuse to accept.

      Whatever else this blog is, it is an honest account of my deeds and thoughts, and I object to those who are inherently dishonest in their replies.

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