Today I have been sober for four days.
I feel so much better today.
Yesterday afternoon the diarrhea stopped, but I was still feeling extremely weak and still slept like there was no tomorrow. Late evening I perked up and started to feel much better and was even feeling hungry.
Then today after feeling a bit woozy when I first woke up, I have been going from strength to strength – literally.
Hence the large amount of blog writing today.
I would like to thank some of you who have wished me a speedy recovery and also to make a few general observations on your “comments”, as some of you seem to have misconstrued the statement I made in my blog on 9th March, where I said:
“I didn’t particularly relish all the condemnatory comments which would inevitably spring forth.”
Firstly, I wish to reiterate that I always welcome all comments, whether, they be supportive, critical, constructive, or in a few incidents, downright insulting.
I made a pledge some time back that I will do my very best to publish all comments, whether or not I agree with them, provided they do not contain offensive language, or are particularly abusive.
Please understand that this is a purely voluntary situation as I have “absolute power” to approve, edit or remove comments, as I see fit, before they appear on my blog, but in the interests of fairness to my readers, I use this power extremely sparingly. I can even block comments from selected persons from reaching my inbox, if I so choose, but so far have not seen the need to do this.
The reason I made the above statement was simply that I knew exactly how certain people would react to my behaviour over the past week or so, and I was feeling bad enough about it myself, without all and sundry chipping in with more of the same.
I do not want to stop the comments, as there is much good stuff in them and, believe it or not, I do read and take in much of the advice that is given, but just for a short while, I needed a break from it all – time to reflect on what I have been up to, take a breather and consider yet again the things I need to do to change my life around.
As for some of the comments being “condemnatory”; well that’s exactly what they are:
Condemnatory: disapproving, critical, reproving, judgmental… and so on.
That’s what many of them are, and nothing wrong with that and it is what I need.
Without my readership, along with the comments it attracts, many of them condemnatory, there would be no blog, for what is the point of writing to myself?
So please keep them coming, I look forward to them; be they complimentary, condemnatory, or otherwise.
Tales of four ladies – old ones, new ones, loved ones and neglected ones.
Lady number one – Dow.
Alert readers of my blog will have noticed that on 1st March, I made reference to meeting my first ever ‘non bar-girl’ in Thailand.
So this is what happened.
Dow will always hold a special place in my heart because she is (was) the first non-bar girl that I have ever dated in Thailand.
How did I meet her? Well I was following some of the good advice I received by readers of this blog and signed up on a few internet dating sites.
Barely twenty four hours after I signed up, I was online when I suddenly received an instant message asking me if I wished to chat with a young lady named Dow. I checked her profile, and although no photo was posted, decided to respond positively.
We started chatting and one thing led to another and we eventually had a “camcorder” conversation on MSN and we were able to see each other.
Dow was a pretty, thirty year old, single lady who lived about ninety kilometers from Pattaya, and ran her own advertising business. She had her own car, played golf and was due to visit a prestigious golf club that very day as the club was one of her major clients.
We arranged to meet at the club house on late afternoon of that very day.
She had a pretty face, as I had seen on the camcorder, but the rest of her didn’t quite match up, and she dressed appallingly, in badly fitting jeans, and flip flops, but she was a charming, cheery soul and was clearly very bright.
There was no doubt that the club was indeed one of her clients and everyone knew her and were running around and jumping at her every command. We chatted in the restaurant over a beer, and then ordered some food.
Suddenly she asked me if I would like a quick tour of the golf course. I was quite surprised at this suggestion, as it was around six thirty and dusk was fast setting in. She said she could procure a golf cart, so I thought: “What the heck? and followed her outside, where the cart was awaiting.
No sooner were we out of sight of the club house than young Dow was “all over me”. I won’t go into the ‘gory details’, but suffice to say, she wanted to have sex with me, there and then in the middle of the golf course. She kept asking me: “You want to sex me?”
I was astounded, for up to that point, I had not so much as touched her; treating her as a respectable lady and not wishing to offend her by making any overtly friendly gestures.
Being the English gentleman that I am, I politely declined to go ‘all the way’ on a golf course, but wasn’t averse to a bit of “hanky panky” in the bushes. Once Dow realised that my sense of propriety wouldn’t allow me to “sex her” there and then, she suggested that we quickly finish our meal and check into a nearby hotel.
This we did, but as we parked up at the hotel, (she in her car, me in mine), she asked me if I would rather go to my place in Pattaya. This sounded like a great idea to me, so the two cars were driven back to Jomtien, and we adjourned to the “Mobi-pad”.
More surprises were in store.
Dow was a very sexual person. It was an incredible experience, and when concluded, she told me that this had been her very first time. I was dumbfounded, surely she was lying – after all she was thirty years old, and had come onto me like a professional whore! I looked at the bed sheets and the tell-tale signs were there. She told me that she didn’t like Thai men and had been too busy with work and running her own business to get involved with men.
She did admit that she had met a few farangs through her work at the golf course, but they had all preferred bar girls to her, and had just treated her as a friend.
She was indeed one of the very few virgins that I have made love to.
I liked Dow and her knowledgeable, intelligent talk was a breath of fresh air after the inane drivel I usually had to contend with from my habitual ‘bar-girl’ fare.
The following morning we both had to leave early, me to my AA meeting and Dow back to her office, some ninety kilometers away.
Just before leaving we agreed that we would meet again the following evening, and then she put a little dampener on the whole affair by asking me to give her some “petrol money”. It was indeed a long journey, but I had thought that for just once in my life, I would be free of the need to “pay for it” – even if it was only the bar girl equivalent of the proverbial “taxi fare home”.
I asked her how much and she replied that five hundred baht would be sufficient for a round trip.
As events turned out, I ended up very drunk that night and went back to one of my old flames – Toi – she who I had paid for in advance. It must have been around three a.m. when the phones started ringing: firstly my number one mobile, followed by my number two mobile, followed a few minutes later by my condo landline phone. It was Dow, calling over and over. I had to turn the mobile phones off and take the landline off the hook to stop them all disturbing my drunken sleep.
Then, at eight I the morning, there was aloud knocking on the front door. I ignored it, hoping it would go away. Then again and again. I got up and went to the door and shouted at whoever was outside to go away. It was the condo security guard with Dow. He told me that my “client” wanted to see me. I was still drunk and screamed at them to “bugger off”, which they eventually did.
Poor Toi was hiding under the bed. She thought it was my wife!!
When I sobered up, I regretted my behaviour and contacted Dow to apologize and explained my problems with alcohol. She was completely sympathetic and forgiving and we arranged to meet over the weekend.
She drove down to meet me at my condo on the Saturday afternoon and we immediately resumed where we had left off a couple of days earlier.
Later we went out for a meal, and it was after we had eaten that certain events started to bother me.
I popped into a supermarket to get some groceries, and asked Dow if there were any snacks or anything she needed.
To my surprise she started to fill up the trolley with all kinds of items – jars of coffee, Milo,cans and other foodstuff. She was stocking up for herself, and ‘her’ bill (which I paid) was well over a thousand baht.
Then she asked me to take her around Pattaya as she was looking to open a new office for her business there. We went to see several empty places, and each time she told me how much the rent was, and it soon became clear that for some strange reason she assumed that I was going to foot the bill – she thought I was going to invest in her business!
Thinking back, I recalled that in our initial conversations, she had mentioned wishing to open up her business in Pattaya, and I had indicated that maybe I could help her. I hadn’t intended that my offer of help would imply that I wanted to make an investment in her business, but presumably she had misunderstood my intentions.
The visits to empty offices were concluded, and as we drove back to the condo, she told me with a flourish that she calculated that the initial investment for her to open up in Pattaya would be in the region of one million Baht. She asked me what I thought.
I replied that I would think about it.
The next day, Sunday, she asked me if I didn’t have to go somewhere? I asked her: “Where?”
She said: “Aren’t you going to the bank?”
The mind boggled.
Then, just before she left in the afternoon, she asked me again for ‘petrol money’. I pulled out my wallet and gave her five hundred Baht. She shook her head, and said, no, it should be one thousand. As by now I had no intention of ever seeing her again, I gave her the one thousand, and wished her a pleasant journey.
That evening I wrote her a long email and explained that I would not be investing in her business and that as far as I could see she was only interested in my money and that we had better not see each other anymore.
At first she seemed to accept this, but during the past week or so, she has been contacting me continually to assure me that she really isn’t interested in my money, that she doesn’t want anything from me – just my love. She insists that I have misunderstood her, and is begging to meet up again.
I am still considering this, but am inclined just to let it go. It seems to me that straight girls can be more expensive than bar girls, and at least you know where you stand with a bar girl.
(A Post script to this encounter is that the subject of paying money to these girls got me thinking, so just for the hell of it, I sent a text message to Toi, and asked her if she would still wish to stay with me if I didn’t pay her any money. She replied in the affirmative, but told me she would have to carry on her ‘work’ in the bar – whatever that may mean!)
Lady number two – Tan
You may recall the delectable Tan from my blog of 20th February. This is the one who quit the bar because she had a regular boyfriend and then returned when he dumped her. I had known her since she first started working and was quite keen on her, and after she returned to work we resumed our ‘platonic friendship’ only to have it dashed when I found out she was out somewhere with a new punter.
Well so it turned out to be the case.
A few days after I had told her to ‘get lost’, I received a call from her. She said she was in Bangkok, on her way to her home to collect her daughter.
She told me the truth. She admitted that she had indeed found a new man and he was going to take care of her and her daughter at his house in Pattaya. She said that she was very sorry for lying to me, and hoped that I wouldn’t feel too bad. She said that she had to take this opportunity for her and her daughter as she didn’t want to spend the rest of her life in a bar. She said she didn’t love him, but that he was a good man and wanted to try it and see.
I thanked her for telling me the truth, and wished her all the best of luck in her new life. I told her that if she was ever in trouble or need of help, than she could call on me.
In truth I was rather relieved, because there was no way I would have taken a young baby into my place to live. I decided it was all for the best, and assumed I would never hear from her again.
I was wrong. Last Tuesday, she called me again. She told me she was still at her mother’s home up country and had been crying all night. She said that she really didn’t want to go and live with this man who she didn’t love. She said that she had never had sex with him, and had no desire to, and was worried about what would happen if she went to live with him.
We chatted for a long time, and the upshot of it was that she said that she really wanted to come and stay with me. I said she was welcome to come and give it a try, but no guarantees. We could see if it would work out over a trial period. But I told her that I could not take her daughter in my condo. It was too small, and she would be stuck there all the time with the baby. She said that was fine and she would leave the girl with her parents for the time being.
I asked her when she would tell the other man what she had decided. She told me she didn’t know – that she had two phones, and had turned the other one off so that he couldn’t contact her.
So everything was agreed, and she told me she would go to Bangkok on the Wednesday, and I would meet her in Bangkok on Thursday and we would travel back to Pattaya together on the Friday.
Tan called me on Wednesday, around noon, to inform me that she would be taking the three p.m. bus to Bangkok and would be there at around six p.m.
On Thursday morning, I headed off to Bangkok and called Tan. To my surprise she said she was still in her home up country. She said something had come up and she would be coming to Bangkok on Friday.
Later, when I arrived in Bangkok I tried to call her but her phone was turned off.
I called and called but it was off all day.
Then Friday evening it was on again and I called but no answer. I sent her a message, and she replied to say that she had problems at home and would meet me back in Pattaya. I asked her when, and she replied: “Probably on Sunday”.
Her phone was turned off again, and has been off ever since. (I put my number on her ‘call-back service’ so I will be informed by AIS as soon as her phone is turned on).
So of course I have given up on ever seeing Tan again.
She has admitted that she has two phones: I have the number of the first phone, and the other man has the number of the second. She activates and de-activates whichever phone suits her game at any particular moment in time.
Right now, The second phone is activated, and poor, stupid,old Mobi is left out in the cold.
C’est la Vie – I liked her but didn’t love her.
No great loss, but a good excuse to drown a few sorrows.
Lady number three – Gina
I met Gina in Soi Cowboy in Bangkok. Where else??
I was drowning my sorrows over the ‘loss’ of Tan and met Gina, a pretty twenty-three year old, ethnic Kymer girl from Surin. I was drinking in her bar, and in the usual manner that these things develop, by midnight I was hungry and very drunk.
For some odd ball reason I bar-fined not only Gina, but also her friend, Tuk, and the three of us went off together to eat at a nearby restaurant, before adjourning to my hotel room on Soi Nineteen.
We were all pissed as newts and collapsed, fully dressed on my bed, but as soon as I started to have romantic aspirations, Gina jumped off the bed in disgust, and told me in no uncertain terms that either Tuk goes or she, Gina, does.
I elected for Tuk to take the short straw, and packed her off home. Gina and I were both too drunk to do anything and we slept like babies.
Gina had to start her day job at a jewelry shop at eight a.m, and she rose before seven and made a quick departure, agreeing to meet me after she finished work at four p.m.
I was intending to drive back to Pattaya that morning, but I was still far too full of alcohol to make the journey so I extended my stay in Bangkok for another night.
Gina didn’t come and see me at four, but she did call and ask me to meet her at her bar later that night.
So I went back – this time sober, as was Gina. She was indeed a nice lady, very pretty, nice body, bright with a fair command of English. I asked her about her day job.
She told me that several months ago a group of Thais came to her bar and asked the girls them if they were interested in learning a skill so that they could stop working at the bars and sleeping with farangs.
Gina signed up, and she was trained to make jewelry, which she does five days a week in Soi eight, Sukhumvit, in a factory owned by a philanthropic Englishman. She is paid seven thousand Baht per month for a forty hour week, and the only condition is that she stops her bar work and stops sleeping with farangs for money.
“So how come you’re still working here and sleeping around?”
“I don’t tell them”, she replied with a smile.
“And the other girls who work there?”
“Same-same. Many are my friends – we all still work in the bars at night.”
I smiled grimly at her unashamed duplicity. At least I could admire her honesty.
I liked Gina and I decided to bring her back to Pattaya with me for the remainder of the weekend.
We had a pleasant day and a half, and I acted as her tour guide. I was with Gina when I ate the dodgy oysters, and by the time I put her on the bus back to Bangkok on Sunday afternoon, I was already in the vomiting stage of my oyster induced food poisoning.
I promised Gina that I would go to Pattaya on this coming Friday and spend the weekend with her in Bangkok.
Before she left, I gave her some money. She looked at me and said, (in Thai): “So you’re paying me off?”
I was taken aback. “What do you mean?”
“This money – you’re paying me off. I thought we were friends and you were going to see me in Bangkok?”
“I am. I am!” I assured her.
“I don’t believe you.”
“I will come. I mean it. Look, I’m sorry; I just wanted to pay you for your time. OK, give it back to me.” I said with a smile.
She made to hand it back, but I declined with a laugh.
I had intended to be back in Bangkok this Friday as my friend Bob was planning to fly in and meet me, but he has now postponed, so at this point in time I have no idea whether I will still go. With all the red shirt trouble brewing, it doesn’t seem very likely.
Lady number four – Dang
(Yes, that Dang – Mrs Mobi.)
She called me last week and asked me to buy some dog food and bring it to the house. I had previously agreed to provide food for the dogs along with paying the house utilities.
I didn’t go on the appointed day, and she kept calling so I eventually turned up with the bag of dog food a couple of days later.
She was there with open arms and went out of her way to make me welcome. She even hugged me and kissed me. I did my best not to respond in kind.
She insisted that I take a seat and then she cooked me some food.
I then spent a lot of time with my dogs, who were going ballistic. I couldn’t keep Cookie, my golden retriever, off me and I had dog hairs all over my clothes. Dang insisted on removing them all with a special roller – most solicitous.
She asked me about my love life, and I told her that I didn’t have a regular girlfriend.
She said that if I rented a house, I could take the dogs back, but she would like to come and see them from time to time. She asked if I would let her see them if I had a new wife. This was all provocative stuff – just testing me to see what I would say.
After what I considered a reasonable period of time I made my departure, but not before she insisted on cuddling me once again.
My feelings for her are gone. She knows, (or rather thinks), that I have little money left, so I’m not sure what game she is trying to play. Whatever it is I’m not interested.
I drove to Bangkok last Thursday to visit Dave, and decided to stay a couple of nights, the reasons for which I have written about elsewhere.
Before leaving Pattaya I was surprised to hear from Dave’s lady that he had discharged himself and was once more back at home.
So at least I didn’t have to go to the hospital and was able to see him at home, where I received a briefing from his lady before going up to his bedroom for a chat. He was extremely weak, and could barely sit up, but was fairly lucid and able to hold a conversation. He had lost the feeling in one foot and was concerned about it.
I didn’t see him again until Saturday morning, by which time he had become visibly stronger, and was even able to hobble a little, but still had some problems with the feeling in one foot. We had a long chat, and he was starting to focus on every day issues, such as his finances and so on.
I didn’t tell him that I had been in constant contact with his family in the UK, as I knew it would upset him, and I wanted him to get stronger before I told him what had been happening.
What had actually happened was that his sister in law had called me, following my earlier call to advise her that Dave was at the point of death, and we had started a dialogue. I had kept them informed of Dave’s condition, and they had confirmed to me that his monthly allowance would continue to be sent, provided that he didn’t take another drink. They asked me to pass on to Dave that all money would stop if he ever picked up another drink.
Dave’s Lady, and another lady who has been helping to take care of him have both told me that they will leave him for good if he ever tried to drink again. At long last, Dave’s Lady has agreed to keep all booze out of the house, and has instructed the local booze shops to refuse any telephoned orders.
There is no doubt that he was at the point of death when admitted to hospital, (confirmed by the doctors), as his liver was full of water and had more or less ceased to function and his general condition was critical.
So once more – remarkably – Dave has come back from the dead, but this surely must be his final, final chance, if it is not already too late for long term survival, which is more than possible.
I returned to Pattaya with the intention of going back to see Dave on this coming Friday with Bob, who was scheduled to fly in to meet me, but Bob has now postponed for a week so I will not be going.
Yesterday Dave was re-admitted to hospital for further tests as he still has not regained full feeling in his foot, and he can hardly walk. He will be discharged tomorrow. I spoke to him and he sounded quite strong. The doctors have told him it will take at least three months for him to make a full recovery, provided of course that he doesn’t take a drink.
We shall see what transpires.