Today is my first day of sobriety – yet again…. and again…
Yesterday, I made it to around 7 p.m. and felt pretty good.
It was pretty stupid really.
I had been playing around with the appearance of my blog header, and then decided it was time to change my avatar on Thai Visa, and also to set up a “blog picture” with the same theme. My beloved golden retriever, Cookie, has been my avatar for a couple of years or so now, and it was time for a change. I never see her any more, and miss her like crazy, and every time I see my avatar it reminds me of her.
Nearby there was an unopened bottle of Sangsom Thai whisky, (rum actually), and I thought that a bottle of Thai booze in the foreground, and an AA ‘Big Book’ in the background might make an appropriate avatar to represent my life at present. A sort of ‘coat of arms’ – I wonder if any expert could come up with some suitable heraldic inscription?
So out with my camera and I spent the next hour getting my new avatar set up in Thai Visa and onto my blog.
But you know what AA say about alcohol – cunning, baffling and powerful. Handling that bottle, taking photos of it and posting onto the internet was playing with fire. The bottle shouldn’t have even been in my room. But by 7.30 I was feeling very good and was bewitched into believing that a couple of glasses would do me no harm. Two hours later it was almost empty, and I decided to have a shower and go out.
I went down to my regular pub and met the girl who had blown me out a,few days earlier and been the main trigger for my relapse. She was very friendly so I bought her and I some drinks and I carried on where I had left off at home. The place closed at midnight, and somehow or other I ended up with her, and four of her friends in a large Thai Night club on Third Road. There was live music, and we ordered up the 100 Pipers and danced for the next 3 hours. My lady was getting very drunk. They were playing a version of “scissors, stone and paper” with their hands, and the loser had to ‘chug-a-lug’ a glass of whisky. I declined to play, but my lady had an uncanny knack of losing and was getting really sloshed.
I realised that as young as she was, she showed all the alcoholic tendencies. Her friends were no where near as drunk as she was and they were sipping their drinks slowly, whereas she was knocking them back at the rate of knots, whether or not she lost the game.
In the wee hours the whisky was finished, the bill paid, and she slumped into my car for the drive home. She started shouting very loud directions at me as I drove along and I knew this woman was going to be trouble. Once home, she immediately jumped on my computer and started to email her friends in Khon Kaen.
After a while I sat down behind her, put my arms around her and tried to give her a little ‘fondle’. After all I was drunk and feeling very amorous. She pulled my hands away roughly, and when I tried once again to cuddle her, she leaped up from the chair, grabbed her bag and took off out of the apartment. By the time I realised she had really gone, she had disappeared into the lift and I gave up trying to chase her and bring her back. She had already had her ‘money’ as she needed some earlier so I had paid in advance for the night’s ‘services’, for which I had received nothing in return. This was the third time this had happened, so I knew it was time to give up.
My other girl friend of the moment – the nymphomaniac – had been calling me all evening, and as I was still feeling aroused and not a little frustrated, I decided to call her. By the time she arrived it was already morning – 8 a.m. She stayed until 10.30 as she had to go to Bangkok at 11.a.m., and I finally crashed into a drunken stupor.
I woke up this afternoon feeling like shit, but now feel a little better after gallons of coffee and some delicious English style sausage sandwiches – cooked by the hungover Mobi.
The tenth of January has a nice, memorable ring to it, so maybe I can start my new sobriety from today. I still feel like shit, but at least I am vertical, and functioning. I may go to an AA meeting this evening. I will decide soon.
Please note the two comments on yesterday’s blog, to which I have made some lengthy responses.