Jomtien, 5th January, 2010: Happy New beer!

Today I am drunk.


The monkey climbed off my back and sat down next to me at the bar, and said; “Mobi, why don’t you have a beer? Don’t you know it will make all  the pain go away?”

I drank all night.

Sometimes the effort of staying sober is just too hard for this alcoholic.

I don’t know when I will stop.

God help me.

9 thoughts on “Jomtien, 5th January, 2010: Happy New beer!”

    1. True, but I fail to see the connection.

      It is an undisputed fact that hundreds of thousands of alcoholics – worldwide – have successfully quit drinking for the rest of their lives, and if you are referring to ‘whoring’ then I believe the same would apply.

      We are not leopards with immovable spots, we are human beings with human frailties and sometimes we can repair those frailties.

  1. Yes, sorry to hear! I hope you soon will find the right way again.

    And next time you are sober, don´t go to the bars! There is nothing there worth spending any money!

    Take care and good luck!

    Sven

  2. i’m sorry to hear that mobi. You have been successful for a remarkably long time, and I sincerely hope you soon begin a new period of extended and permanent sobriety.

  3. The day count of being sober is one of the problems I have with the AA.

    You drank for a day so you have to start from zero again. It’s a way of conning you into believing you have failed. Will always fail and always need them and their god.

    You haven’t.

    Being sober for 123 days has been great for your health.

    Drinking on day 124 doesn’t mean you have to keep drinking.

    You just need a break from the world for a while.

    Tomorrow, prove to yourself, that you can stop again.

    Good luck, mate.

    1. I tend to agree with you about the ‘day count’. The first time I slipped, I had no problem going back and starting the day count for a second time. This time though, I fell less ambivalent about it. I will feel that I have failed, and even if I am not judged as such, I will be regarded as someone who failed because I didn’t follow the programme properly – and I didn’t.

      There will also be a lot of patronizing – I will be treated as a ‘child’ and given sage advice from those who have had many years of sobriety under their belts. I am not sure I am ready for this, and the anticipation of such treatment may keep me away and even keep me drinking.

      I don’t think they have ever claimed that it is “their” God and I think you are being a bit unfair here. I completely accept the notion that probably the only way for a true alcoholic to ultimately remain sober is to find some kind of spirituality – whatever that may be. As always, I am almost jealous of those who have found God or their “Higher Power”, as it surely works for them, and I can see it in their daily lives. For me, I am still looking.

  4. Sorry to hear that. You were doing pretty well but sometimes the pressures of life get to everyone. Best wishes

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