Tinkering with a Material World…

Mobi-Babble

Last Saturday, two Brits, both in their thirties, were killed in separate accidents while riding their bikes, without helmets, on the Darkside.

I am currently discussing this subject in Thai Visa as, ironically, I had only recently started a new thread to point out the dangers of driving at speed – without helmets – on a dangerous road that has an increasing amount of traffic on it, when news of this double-tragedy came to my attention.

I was also prompted to raise the subject of reckless drivers as every day, when I take my afternoon walk, I pass by a memorial stone set on the grass verge, in memory of yet another English motorcyclist who died on this road a few years back.

So it was with no great surprise but with much sadness that barely two days after I started the thread, I learned that two young men ‘met their ends’ on what is fast becoming an accident black spot for irresponsible farang motorcyclists.

In the first accident, the man attempted to overtake at the same time as  a pick-up truck was coming in the opposite direction towards him. He clipped its side mirror, resulting him losing control, falling down onto the road where he was crushed under the wheels of  10 wheel truck which was following on behind.

I wonder why he would attempt to overtake on a dangerous two lane road, when there was an oncoming vehicle, making the manoeuvre even more risky than it already was. He was in such a hurry…

The second accident involved a man who was staying in Pattaya ‘proper’, but had driven out to the lake on his bike to get drunk at one of the Lakeside bars. On his return journey, he ‘met his maker’ although I have no detailed information as to precisely what happened.

It is a small world, for I discovered yesterday that this particular unfortunate victim had been living with one of my ex-girlfriends. Some of you may recall her; a lady, (who I called ‘Tan’), from Nakhon Sawan, who I had a short, but very tempestuous and traumatic affair, back in April, May and June, 2010, all faithfully recorded in my blog at that time. You may recall that I got pissed and she dumped me. Now that’s something new, ain’t it?

I have nothing but painful memories of Tan as I was very fond of her, but I wouldn’t wish the death of a loved one onto my worst enemy and I do hope that she manages to get through this difficult and sad time in one piece.

A Lustful Gentleman

For those of you who may be interested, at long last I have been making some progress on my novel and a couple of days ago I wrote around 4,000 new words after spending a day or so ‘getting back into it’ and reminding myself where I was at. Now I have recommenced, I am resolved to keep the momentum going and hopefully I will be publishing some new ‘sections’ soon.

I am currently reading Tolstoy’s ‘Resurrection’ which I will comment on when I have finished, (along with Conrad’s ‘Heart of Darkness’, which I finished reading recently), but in the meantime. I will just mention that I was interested to note that Tolstoy had started a new chapter, every time there was to every ‘break’ in his narrative, usually every 2-3 pages.

So, as I am sure that Tolstoy knows best, I have decided to adopt a similar format for my  novel. Currently, my chapters are quite long and contain a number of natural breaks – marked by asterisks – occasioned by ‘time shifts’, either forward or back, and I shall now covert these breaks into separate chapters. As you will see, the original lengthy chapters will now be changed to ‘parts’: ‘Part 1 is  ‘Na’; ‘Part 2,  Ying’; ‘Part 3,  Toby’, and so on.

 

A post script… to my piece the other day on the valiant Captain of the Costa Concordia

After his retirement, Winston Churchill was cruising the Mediterranean on an Italian cruise liner and some Italian journalists asked why an ex British Prime Minister should choose an Italian ship.

“There are three things I like about being on an Italian cruise ship,” said Churchill.

“Firstly their cuisine is unsurpassed, secondly their service is superb and then, in times of emergency, there is none of this nonsense about women and children first.”

‘Nuff said…

Two Film reviews

1. Tinker Tailor Soldier, Spy

As some of you may know, I am a life-long fan of John Le Carré and he is one of my favourite 20th Century authors – although he is still going strong in this, his 70th Year!

‘Tinker’ was a classic of the cold war spy genre and it wasn’t long ago that I watched, (and wrote about) the BBC 1979 adaptation, which I enjoyed very much, although I found the back ground music somewhat grating.

So it was with great anticipation that I sat down to watch the 2011 celluloid version of Le Carré’s classic.

On the whole I did enjoy it and I think I will probably watch it again as I feel it is that rare kind of film that requires more than one viewing to fully appreciate its ‘finer points’

I have to say that if I hadn’t read the novel and recently watched the BBC version, I doubt that I would have had much idea about what was going on. The film is a ‘film noir’ to outdo all ‘film noirs’ and I think you would have you be a bit of a clever-clogs to really follow all the nuances of the convoluted plot if you hadn’t previously read the book or seen the BBC adaptation.

But given that I had and I did, I managed to follow where the film was going – just about, as they did change some of the finer points of the story line, and I found some of the scenes quite breath-taking in their ability to evoke to bygone age and atmosphere.

I am also now devoted fan of Gary Oldman who gave a masterful portrayal of George Smiley, but I do feel that most of the other main characters were pretty one dimensional. Not the actors’ faults, as they were all top drawer, and did their best with the material at hand, but more a fault of the scrip and the film itself. The exception to this was Smiley’s wife, who we only ever caught the briefest glimpses of, yet in some indefinable way, we somehow knew all about her.

It is a ‘patchy’ piece of work – brilliant in parts and sometimes baffling, but never, as some have asserted, boring. The plot moves along in brief ‘snapshots’ of dialogue and action and as a consequence, sometimes you have to be pretty quick-witted to fully appreciate what is actually happening.

Overall, it was an enjoyable ‘ride’, and I particularly loved the scenes of the spooks’ 70’s ‘office Christmas party’, which were so evocative, grotesque and somehow, almost scary.

I also loved the ending, but I won’t spoil it for you.

Oh… the music is just totally brilliant!

2. George Harrison – Living in the material World

I will always go out of my way to see the work of certain actors and directors – a select few, who, in my opinion, can do no wrong.

By way of example, I will always watch an Al Pacino or a De Niro film – even if it is a bad one,  as by their very presence, they will somehow drag it out of the mundane and make it a pleasurable experience.

One of my favourite directors is Martin Scorsese and to me, he can do no wrong, ever since I saw Taxi Driver all those years ago. Since then he has followed up with masterpieces such as Goodfellas, Casino and Gangs of New York, to name but three of many. Recently, his production and directorial contributions to the TV series, Boardwalk Empire has elevated it to the echelons of all time TV greats, such as The Sopranos.

Scorsese also has also directed a number of notable documentaries through the years, almost always connected in some way to his love of music and music performers. His latest, about the life of the Beatle George Harrison, is a feast for the eyes.

To any Beatles fans, lovers of popular music, or just someone interested in the life and times of this fascinating and talented man, then this documentary is a ‘must see’.

I sat down to watch it at around 10 p.m and sat transfixed, hardly realising that the clock was almost at the hour of 2 a.m by the time the final credits rolled down the screen – along with a few tears rolling down my cheeks…

There is no narrator and no quoting of dates or facts, just a cinematic account of the life of George, from his earliest days in the Beatles right up to the day of his death from cancer in 2001. The story is ‘told’ through mainly previously unseen footage and magical interviews with so many friends and family who knew him and lived through those life and times with him.

I have a new respect for Paul and Ringo who clearly gave very honest, heartfelt and sometimes surprisingly vulnerable accounts of themselves and their relationships with George and their times with him – both good and bad. And there many others; Eric Clapton, John Lennon, both of George’s wives, Eric Idle, Terry Gilliam, Tom Petty, Phil Spector, Yoko Ono, Jackie Stewart and so many more.

Some of these people were interviewed especially for the film and other interviews were taken from archive footage, much of it never seen before. And at the top of the list of interviewees is George himself, speaking from his very early Beatle days, almost up to the time of his death.

George was a fascinating man who lived a very full life, from his music, to his film production, to his love of cars, to garden design and to his almost fanatical involvement in Indian mysticism and trans-meditation. Through the years, this quiet but obviously highly charismatic character acquired  an incredible array of devoted friends from all walks of life.

I particularly loved the videos of the impromptu sessions shot at Bob Dylan’s home recording studio in New York when members of the ‘Travelling Wilburys’, (George, Tom petty, Bob Dylan, Jeff Lynne and Roy Orbison), collaborated on a new song . It is pure magic.

But there again, there are so many magical moments

This wonderful documentary is a film not to be missed.

BUTT…BUTT… BUTT…BUTT… I don’t give a hoot!…

A Lustful Gentleman – some more of Chapter two…

As mentioned in yesterday’s blog, I will publish the latest completed bits of my novel on different days to my normal blog days.

So here is some more of chapter two; sections, i, ii, & iii.

Section iii is completely new, and sections i & ii have had some more of the Mobi-editing treatment.

I hope you enjoy it.

A Lustful Gentleman

Chapter Two

i

Ying turned her little Jazz into her driveway and drove slowly up the long driveway and under the carport. The car stereo was blaring out so loudly that when she opened the front door of the car, it sounded like one of those mobile discos; the ones that drive along Pattaya’s roads at night, blaring out music with such ear-splitting intensity that bystanders can barely even think, let alone hear themselves speak. The deafening pop music reverberated harshly across the peaceful, still night.Until Ying’s abrupt arrival, the only sounds to be heard were those of the toads in a nearby pond, emitting their repetitive mating calls.

She cut the ignition and suddenly the world returned to its state of somnolence and once more the toads held pride of place in the humid night air. Ying unlocked the side door to the house, dumped her handbag on the dining table and then summoned up one last burst of energy to climb up the central staircase, enter her enormous bedroom and collapse, fully clothed, on her bed. She lay there for a few minutes, unable to move. She had been drinking but was not wholly drunk – she had drunk just enough to make her woozy and very sleepy.

It had been a very long day. She had been woken before 8 a.m. that morning by the girl who usually opened her hair dressing salon, with the news that she was sick and would not be able to make it in to work that day. As a result, Ying had only had about four hours sleep and it had taken all her will power to drag herself out of bed, take a quick shower before jumping into her car and make it to her salon before the regular opening time of 9 a.m.

She had spent the whole day there and at around 8 p.m. when the final customer had finally left, she had driven to a friend’s house where they had spent the next seven hours playing cards and sipping Bacardi Breezers. By three a.m, Ying was down about three hundred baht and she decided to call it a night. She would have to get up early, yet again, to open her shop in the morning.

She roused herself briefly – just long enough to pull off her jeans and top before collapsing once more onto her bed in her underwear. She lay there for a few minutes with her eyes closed, but for some reason sleep wouldn’t come, a problem she often encountered when she was over-tired and feeling tipsy. She was so tired but her mind kept going round and round.

What sort of life was this? Living in this huge house virtually all alone? It was far too big and it was a daily battle to keep it in in a half way decent state on a minimal budget, while at the same time trying to start a business that was struggling to break even. It was all a bit of a nightmare; now that her assistant was ill, so she wouldn’t even get a decent night’s sleep.

But the longer she lay there, in her heart she knew that on this day she would never make it to her salon much before noon. She was just too tired. She idly speculated on how many customers she might lose if she had yet another unscheduled closure. It had been difficult enough to attract customers in the first place, and for sure, if any of her regulars came in the morning and found her closed, they would not come back. There were simply too many other hair salons in the vicinity for them to remain faithful to a place that kept closing without warning. What a mess!

She curled up with her favourite cuddly panda in the enormous four- poster bed, but still she couldn’t sleep. It was a strange journey indeed that had brought her to this point in her life: thirty four year’s old, living in a huge house, with a nice car in the driveway, but almost perpetually broke. Her estranged husband, Toby, barely sent her enough money to cover the utility bills; she knew that he was also financially distressed and very soon, even that cash stream would probably dry up. There was no way they were going to be able to sell their jointly owned house in the foreseeable future. The market was dead – no one was buying. It was a veritable ‘albatross’ around both of their necks. If they succeeded in selling it, they could both move on with their lives, but as it was, they were both broke and unable to make the clean break that they both yearned for.

Finally, she dozed off. She drifted into a deep, dreamless sleep for a few exquisite minutes when she was rudely awakened by the screeching sound of a Thai rock song, piercing the blessed silence of the early morning. She slowly regained consciousness, wondering for a moment where the music was coming from. Then she knew; it was coming from her phone – her mobile phone was ringing.

She reached out blindly, grabbed hold of the phone and without looking at who was calling, she put it to her lips. ‘Hello.’

‘Hello, Khun Ying?’

‘Yes. Who is that?’

‘This is Pattaya Police station, I am Lieutenant Somkid. We would like you to come here immediately.’

‘Why? Why? What is it? What have I done?’

‘You have done nothing – it’s your husband. We want you to come here and see us about your husband. He is in a lot of trouble.’

‘My husband! He doesn’t live with me anymore. He left me ages ago! I can’t come – I’m not free!’

‘Khun Ying, if you don’t come here and help your husband, he will be in very serious trouble. He will go to jail.’

‘I don’t care! I don‘t care! Fuck my fucking husband! I don’t care what happens to him. I told him! I warned him! I don’t care what happens to him!’

‘Khun Ying, if you don’t come down her immediately and help him, your husband might even die.’

‘I don’t fucking care!’ Let him fucking die!’

She cut off the call, turned off her phone, and closed her eyes, praying that sleep would come back again and blot out the images in her mind.

‘Fuck Toby. Fuck him…fuck him… fuck him…’

Despite the air-conditioning, she suddenly broke out in a sweat. ‘Oh No, not again!’ she said out aloud. ‘Please not again…’

In spite of her antipathy, she suddenly worried about what horrors may befall her errant husband… her fucking husband. Surely that fucking cop didn’t mean it literally? Why should Toby die? But she continued to fret. Die ? No, surely not…she had already seen too many deaths in her life to contemplate yet another one.

***

ii

Ying was sitting cross legged, at one end of a huge, roughly hewn wooden table cum workbench, which served as part cooking area, part sleeping area, part drinking area and part part living area; which has such a ubiquitous presence in  Thai rural life, so popular in the poorer Thai villages. It was the central meeting and gathering area for the occupants and friends of any particular abode.

This particular ‘family bench’ was probably around two meters in length by about one and a half meters wide and covered the entire shaded area in front the modest, two room single storey wooden house that had been the only home Ying had known for the entire eight years of her young life. It was a home that she shared with her mother, younger sister and two younger brothers.

Barely ten minutes ago, she had arrived home from her long, daily walk from school; but already she was hard at it, preparing the vegetables for the family’s evening meal which she would soon start cooking for the five of them – possibly six, if her father decided to stay and eat with them.

She looked across to the far end of the table where her father was also sitting cross-legged in an alcohol-fuelled conversation with one of his drinking cronies from the village. Both of them were well into their ‘cups’. Ying had noticed one empty bottle of Mekong whisky on the ground near to them and a second bottle was already half empty. The two men sat facing each other on the table, the space between them occupied by the whisky bottle, along with a dirty ice bucket and some empty soda water bottles.

Her father snarled at his daughter, ‘Ying! Get me another bottle of soda!’

She jumped up and ran to the side of the house where a half empty case of soda bottles was standing and grabbed a couple of bottles and quickly delivered them to the two men.

The drunken man barely acknowledged her existence as she put down the bottles and returned to her cooking chores. Mama would soon return from the rice fields where she toiled daily at her back- breaking, twelve hour shift in the flooded paddies – up to her chest in the warm, mosquito-ridden water. Ying’s two brothers and baby sister were inside the crudely built house, watching a small black and white television in the corner of the room. They would all be very hungry.

As poor as there were, there weren’t many families in her village who enjoyed the luxury of a television, and on most evenings, a large crowd of villagers would descend on their humble abode for a couple of hours to watch the nightly ‘soap operas’ put out by the only two Thai Channels they were able to tune into from their somewhat isolated neck of the woods.

Ying wasn’t sure whether she should be grateful or resentful of the fact that her father was one of the ‘big wigs’ in the village and had been able to provide them with a coveted TV. She knew well enough that there were many occasions when they wouldn’t see him for days – sometimes weeks – when he would disappear, without warning. On such occasions, the sparse food money he occasionally gave her mother would dry up completely. Sometimes, they wouldn’t eat for several days and it was for this reason that her mother had recently started to work in the paddy fields, as a sort of protection against the vagaries of her common law husband’s largesse.

One of Ying’s friends from the village had told Ying that her father had several other ‘wives’ in a nearby village and that when he disappeared, he would go and stay with them. She wasn’t sure of the truth of these stories, but suspected they were probably true. She did know for sure that her father was not a very nice person. Often, he would return home very drunk and pick a fight with her mother, beating her mercilessly. On more than one occasion her mother had been so badly beaten that they had to call for a doctor to treat her injuries. He had even hit Ying and her brothers on the odd occasion, so whenever they realised that he was particularly drunk, they would do their best to keep out of his way. But no one would dare to say a word to him about his brutal behaviour. He was a very powerful, well-connected, ‘mafia-type’ figure and everyone seemed in awe of him. No one had the courage stand up to him.

Ying could see that her father was getting very drunk and feared that it wouldn’t be long before trouble started. She wanted to warn her mother to stay away but she didn’t know how to go about it. If she left off from her food preparation, her father might get angry; he was so unpredictable. In the end she did nothing; she just sat there, working away and hoped that something would happen to take her father away from their home before her mother arrived back from work.

She couldn’t believe her luck. Almost at the very moment that she wished something would happen, a motorbike drove slowly down the narrow track which led to their house. She could clearly see one of her father’s friends driving the bike but she didn’t recognise the young man on the back. She assumed it was another member of her father’s ‘criminal-gang’. ‘Good,’ she thought, ‘maybe they are all going off to do a ‘job’ somewhere.’ That’s what usually happened when his low-life friends came to see him in the late afternoon.

The bike came to a halt outside the house, less than a meter from where her father and his drinking companion were sitting, but they didn’t get off. In fact, both men remained seated and the engine remained running. As Ying watched, she heard the man on the front yelling something angrily at her father, but he behaved as though nothing had happened. Deliberately ignoring the shouts from the motorbike driver, Ying’s father picked up his whisky glass to take another sip. As he put the glass to his lips, the angry driver shouted something to the youth behind him, whereupon the young pillion passenger lifted his right hand to reveal a handgun; the dark metal glistening in the late afternoon sun.

Although Ying hated her father, she suddenly felt a jolt of panic and revulsion at what was about to happen. But before she could even shout out a warning, the youth fired three shots – one after the other – at almost point blank range, into her father’s head and body. Her father had been so drunk that he hadn’t even seen the shots coming. The smoke was still clearing as the driver snapped his bike in gear, raced the accelerator and skidded his tyres on the dusty ground as the two killers sped away, out of the village.

She instinctively rushed over to her father’s slumped body, hoping against hope that he might have survived the violent attack, but one look at his head told her that it was all over. The bullet had taken half of her father’s face away and Ying stood transfixed, aghast at the grizzly sight. She started screaming, becoming hysterical as the villagers emerged from their nearby homes and rushed over to see what all the noise was about.

Into the midst of this commotion arrived Ying’s mother. Quickly taking in what had happened, her mother grabbed hold of her, and led her towards the house, just as her other children were emerging to see what was going on.

‘Go inside! All of you!’ her mother shouted, ‘and stay there until I say so,’

‘But Mama…’ Ying started to protest.

‘No, Ying, go inside and look after your brothers and sister.’ She shouted loudly at her.

Although Ying knew her mother to be a kindly woman who loved her children dearly, her hard life and difficult circumstances had given her a nasty temper. Woe betides anyone who tried to cross her or gainsay her when her ire was roused – except of course, her now deceased husband. But Ying always did what she was told when her mother was in this kind of mood, so she led her younger siblings back into the room and back to the television, dreading what disastrous effect this tumultuous event may have on their family’s fortunes.

*

In her wildest dreams, Ying couldn’t have imagined quite how catastrophic the after effects of her father’s untimely death would actually turn out to be.

She stayed away from school on the day following her father’s killing, as had her mother from the rice fields. There were many things to sort out, least of which was the cremation of her father’s body. Her mother had no money to pay for a funeral and was wondering what on earth she was going to do when the problem was solved for her by the appearance of her husband’s elder brother and sister, who lived in the next village.

Ying had only seen her ‘in-laws’ once before – when her father had invited them to a big party he held in the village. She doubted her mother had seen them very often either, as on that occasion they had been very unfriendly and had virtually ignored them. So she had expected the worst when they suddenly turned up, but her misgivings were soon assuaged when she heard the brother tell Mama that her father’s family would assume full responsibility for her father’s funeral arrangements.

‘Mama, that’s god news. Now you can stop worrying about it.’

‘Ying, go inside the house, I have some things to discuss with these people,’ she told Ying who once again felt aggrieved at being dispatched away from the centre of action.

She reluctantly walked into the house and tried, without success, to overhear what was being discussed. But it wasn’t long before she realised that whatever they were talking about, it wasn’t good news. She could hear her mother’s raised voice and the responding loud voices of her father’s relatives. She knew that things were not going at all well.

At length, she heard her Mama shout out in anger and after a long pause, she started to cry. She heard the man bark something back at her mother and then there was a long silence. Ying sat, waiting for somebody to say something, becoming ever more fearful at what might have transpired between them, but no sound could be discerned. Eventually, she gingerly peered out of the house; all she could see was the sight of Mama, her head in her hands, weeping quietly to herself. There was no sign of the others. They must have gone.

‘Mama, what has happened? Where have they gone? Did they refuse to pay for father’s funeral after all?’

Her mother looked up bleary eyed at her daughter – incredibly mature for her young years. ‘Funeral, my love? Why yes, child, they will pay for the funeral, don’t worry about that.’

‘Oh that is good news Mama,’ Ying said with a smile. Isn’t it?’

‘Yes, my child, it is good news. But I’m afraid that we have to stay away. They have told me that we are not allowed to go to the Wat. If we do, then they will refuse to pay for the cremation.’

‘That’s terrible Mama, why won’t they let us go to father’s funeral? I don’t understand.’

The tired woman looked at her eldest daughter. She wasn’t sure if Ying would understand. ‘They don’t want us there, my child, because they say that I am not his real wife and that you and your brothers and sister are not his real children. They say that his real wife lives with them in the next village and it would bring a big shame on his family if we go to the funeral. They said that nobody wants us there.’

Ying tried to absorb all this confusing information. ‘What does it mean?’ she asked herself. ‘Why can’t Papa have two wives? I don’t understand. What does it matter if we go to the Wat and pay our respects to our father?’ She considered everything for a few moments, before finally speaking, seeking to reassure her mother.

‘So we can’t say goodbye to Papa. Never mind, Mama, please don’t cry. It doesn’t matter. Anyway, he wasn’t a very nice man, was he?’

Her mother looked at her daughter, lovingly. ‘No Ying, you are right; he wasn’t a very nice man,’ before bursting into a new flood of tears.

‘But Mama, Mama, if he wasn’t very nice, why are you crying? We don’t have to go to the Wat. It’s not so important. Please Mama, please don’t cry.’

Eventually, her tears stopped and she dried her eyes. ‘Ying, my child, I am not crying about your father’s funeral. Yes I want to go. He was an unkind and selfish  man, but  he was the only man I ever loved and her bore me four beautiful children – but that is not why I am crying. You don’t understand.’

‘Try me Mama, try me. Why then?

There was an even longer silence before the distressed woman finally explained the bombshell news to her daughter. ‘Because, my child; because Papa’s family have told me that we must leave our home. They say it belongs to them and they want it back.’

‘Leave our home! They can’t do that! Where will we go? Surely Papas’s family wouldn’t be so cruel to us…’

‘Yes, they would, my love. It belongs to your father and I wasn’t married to him – not properly – and they want it back. They don’t care about us. They hate us.’

‘Oh, Mama, why are people so bad? When must we leave?’

‘Tomorrow!’

‘Tomorrow! We can’t leave tomorrow! Where will we go?’

‘I don’t know, my love, I don’t know where we will go. I have no money to go anywhere.’

‘Then you must refuse to leave Mama, you must tell them we have to stay here until we find somewhere to go.’

‘I already told them that. That man – your uncle – he said if we don’t leave by tomorrow evening, he will bring the police and have us thrown out; and he means it, I know he does.’

‘But Mama, where will we go?’

‘I don’t know, Ying, I just don’t know…’

***

iii

Ying sat with the rest of her fellow-villagers on the hard benches at the village Wat and stared at the ground.  Around her, the adults held their palms together in prayer and joined in the resonating incantations being chanted by the saffron robed monks, who were seated in front and to the left side of them on a long bench. The somnolent drone of the incomprehensible Pali prayers had almost caused her to drop off to sleep, but without warning, the chanting momentarily stopped and she looked up, wide awake once more.

At the centre of her deeply tanned, Issan face that was already showing signs of promised beauty to come, her cavernous, deep brown eyes, were transfixed on a point several meters in front of her. She stared at the raised plinth at the far end of the temple grounds, where, hidden from view, her beloved grandfather was lying in a large casket dressed in his finest traditional Thai clothes, awaiting his journey to the next life.

It was just yesterday that she had arrived back from school and was in the process of getting changed to join her mother for her late afternoon session in the nearby paddy fields, when her brother had come running into the house, with a message for her to go quickly to her grandfather’s home. Her worst fears had been confirmed; Granddad’s disease-ridden body had finally given up the unequal struggle  in his seventy fifth year on this earth – a worn out, skeleton of a man, who had lasted a lot longer than anyone could have reasonably expected, for he had been sick and infirm for several months.

To Ying, he was one of the few souls who had shown her kindness during the past few years of her brief but careworn life and although she had been expecting his death for some time, it came as a huge shock when she had rushed into his primitive room and found the poor old man, stiff and cold, lying on his dirty worn out mattress, his tattered, soiled clothes reeking of death and decay.

The next twenty-four hours had passed in a blur, and now here she was, at the village Wat, attending the last rites before her poor Granddad’s body was incinerated in the primitive crematorium.

She remained seated as the as the villagers around her rose to walk over and form a line in front of the plinth to pay their respects to one of the doyens of their humble village. ‘If it hadn’t been for Granddad, God knows what might have happened to me and my family when we arrived here from our previous home, some four years ago,’ she pondered to herself,

*

She would never forget that long journey of some twenty kilometres from the village where Papa was viciously murdered, to the village where her mother’s father – Ying’s grandfather – still lived. It had been in that village, some twelve years previously, that Ying’s father had first met her mother and had taken her away to live in his own village near to the Cambodian border, where his four children were subsequently born.

It seemed only yesterday that they had made that long, arduous trek, the five of them dressed in tatters, carrying all their worldly possessions, either balanced on their shoulders or piled perilously high on a primitive, two-wheeled cart, which they had borrowed from a neighbour. The trip took two exhausting days to complete, and at long last, the family had made it back to the place where Ying’s grandfather had made his home and where, some twelve years ago, Ying’s mother and father had first met.

Ying knew from her grandfather that Mama was originally from Chaiyaphoom, in the North-east of Thailand and that being desperately poor, she – along with many other Issan folk – had migrated to Sa Kaeo province to find work and start a new life. Thus, many villages in the area had become almost entirely populated by ethnic Issans, who all spoke Issan in their daily lives and had brought their Issan culture with them to this little part of Sa Kaeo province. But Ying’s father was an ethnic -Khmer, as were a majority of Sa Kaeo residents, given its proximity to Cambodia.

Ying then started to realise that there was another, more sinister reason why her mother and her family had been so hated in her father’s, Khmer-centric village. Who knows? It might have contributed to the reason he was killed, such was the hatred and distrust between the two cultures.

When they had arrived back at Granddad’s village some four years ago, they found him still in reasonable health, but eking out a poor existence as a field labourer. However, he did own a small plot of village land, which he had been smart enough to buy at a give-away price some years ago, when the previous owner had been desperate for money. Ying’s Grandmother had been dead for many years, and since then, he had lived alone in a small, makeshift house on stilts, which he had built himself. After his wife passed away, his needs were modest and he informed his daughter that she was welcome to take the remaining part of his unused land for her family to live on.

*

Ying was still rooted to the bench, now the only one left seated. ‘Come on Ying’, a village elder called out, breaking her reverie, ‘Come and pay respects to your Grandfather before we burn him’.

She rose as if a trance, without offering a word of acknowledgement, and joined the end of the line; but her mind was still in the dreams of yesterday.

*

The very next day after their arrival, her mother had gone to work in the rice paddy fields from dawn to dusk to earn sufficient money to feed her family. They now had to fend for themselves for much of the time; they had no money to build a house, and for many months the family had to make do with a few rusty sheets of corrugated iron, kindly donated by neighbours, which was fashioned into a lean-to.

Ying had returned to her village school and despite the harsh conditions under which she lived and the responsibilities she had to endure during the evenings and weekends, she continued to make good grades. Not only did she have to look after the family but she often had to join her mother working in the rice paddies to supplement their meagre income.

Ying’s mother may have been illiterate, but she was a canny woman and she soon realised that the land given to her by her father was worth more to her than just a place to build a home on.  So after months of battling through frustrating, bureaucratic ‘red tape’ at the local government offices –  particularly problematic given her illiteracy – and with the help of some village elders, the desperate mother finally succeeded in transferring Granddad’s parcel of land into her own name. 

She was then able to borrow some money from the local government bank, lodging her newly acquired land as security and utilised the money to build a rudimentary house for her family to live in. It was more of a shack than a house, but it did put a solid roof over their heads, and did provide them with a proper, albeit very basic, toilet. This was to be Ying’s family home for many years to come.

Since then – several years in fact – life had settled into a hard but relatively uneventful routine. Her younger sister and brothers had started school and her mother had continued to keep the finances afloat by her daily labour in the paddy fields. She knew that Mama was for ever having financial problems and sometimes she had to borrow money from her neighbours to keep up the payments up on her bank loan. Mama’s constant fear was that the bank would seize her little bit of land and render the family homeless yet again.

*

At the tender age of twelve, little Ying, could not  devote too much of her precious time thinking about such matters. She had too many other burdens on her young shoulders: surviving day to day, keeping up with her schooling, working with her mother and having a major role in the care and upbringing of her young siblings.  Even as she stood in line at her Granddad’s funeral, she fretted that they had now taken two days off from the paddies and they must get back to work tomorrow, or by the end of the week, there wouldn’t be enough money to buy food.

At length, the formalities – unusually  brief, due to the family’s lack of funds to pay for something more ostentatious  -  drew to a close, and her dear, worn out Granddad was sent on his way to his next life with puffs of black smoke bellowing out of the tall chimney, high above her head.

She wasn’t a particularly spiritual person – what girl is at that age – but on impulse, she closed her eyes and sat silently in prayer, begging ‘whoever may be out there’ that her Granddad  be granted a better life the next time around. She felt sure that he deserved it as he had been a virtuous man and had made much merit in this  life, now sadly at an end. When she eventually opened her eyes, she looked around  and was surprised to find that everyone had gone.There was no sign of her mother and siblings, so she assumed that they had left her to her prayers and already taken off for their trek back home.

Overcome with grief but still dry eyed, Ying started to take the long, hot slow walk back to her home when just as she walked out of  the Wat grounds, she was unexpectedly intercepted by the local head man – the Kaman of the village. He was Khun Somsak, the final arbiter of all village matters and the political ‘tool’ of the provincial party bigwigs. Ying knew him to be a strict, but fair old man and she surmised that he had decided to come over and pay his respects.

Sawasdi, Khun Ying,’ the old man started, ‘Do you have a moment? I would like to talk with you.’

‘Yes, of course, Khun Somsak, is it about my Granddad?’

Not exactly, Ying, come, follow me to my home, and we can have a quick chat.’

Ying dutifully followed the man to his own home, near the Wat, where she was bidden to take a seat in the porch, while a maid brought out a welcome glass of cold water for her.

‘Ying, your mother has asked me to talk to you on her behalf.’

‘Why, Khun Somsak, is something wrong? Has something happened to my Mama? She seemed fine at the Wat.’

The old man was silent for a few moments; not a man for quick repartee or unconsidered responses. ‘Yes… and… no… my dear. Yes, something is wrong, and no, your mother is perfectly well, as far as I am aware.’

‘Then what, sir?’

‘Ying, you are aware that your mother has problems making the monthly payments on her bank loan?’

‘Why, yes, of course, she is always talking about it and worrying herself silly.’

The old man remained silent.

‘Oh no! No!’ she suddenly exclaimed. ‘Don’t tell me we are going to lose our home again. This is too much – not now that Granddad has died. What will we do?’ she asked him, almost in tears.

‘No, Ying, the bank is not foreclosing – not yet, at any rate. No, the problem is that your mother has borrowed a lot of money from people in the village and she can’t pay it back.’

Ying thought about this for a while. ‘So what can I do about it? Why are you talking to me?’

‘Because your mother asked me to and because I think I have been able to find a solution to your family’s financial problems.’

‘So…this solution – it involves me?’ she enquired, fearing what may be coming next.

‘Yes, my child, it involves you, but please don’t be scared. We are not going to sell you to a massage parlour or anything like that. We are poor folk but we are not so bad as that.

‘Ying, my child, your mother has asked me to tell you that we have arranged for you to go and live with a family in Bangkok, to work as their as their maid and as a nanny to their children.’

‘Bangkok? I… I don’t understand…’

‘Ying, I have some friends who know a very nice family and they live in Bangkok and they need a young live-in maid. I am sorry, but it seems to be the only way out of your family’s money problems. The family will pay you a small wage and they will send it home to your mother to help with her daily expenses.’

‘But…what about my school?’

‘I’m afraid that your school days are all over, my child. You can already read and write – very well I hear – so that will hold you in good stead. Now you are grown up and you must help your family by going to work in Bangkok.’

‘But…what about my family? If I go to Bangkok, I won’t see be able to see my brothers and sister any more, will I?’

‘Well maybe one day you will be allowed to go home for a few days. You will have to discuss that with the family after you start work.’

Ying sat for a long time in silence, trying to absorb all these sudden and unexpected changes to her life. No more school – no more work in the paddy fields – no more looking after her family – no more village life with her friends…It was almost too much for her to take in all at once.

But the longer she thought about it, the more puzzled she became. It didn’t make sense – surely the money she would earn as a maid wouldn’t be that much more than she could earn in the paddy fields. And if she left home, who would look after the children? Who would cook their meals? If her mother had to do everything, then she would have to stay at home and she wouldn’t earn any money to buy food. What about the bank loan and the money she owed in the village? How was all that going to be paid back on a maid’s salary?

The canny old man seemed to sense what was going on in Ying’s young, over-active brain. ‘You are wondering how your mother will pay off her debts, aren’t you?

‘Yes, how did you know?

‘Because I know that you are very smart young lady. Well Ying, here is the crux of it all. We need you to be a very good girl and promise that you will stay with this family in Bangkok and work hard for them until you are eighteen years of age. Can you do that?

‘Well…yes… I suppose so… but why?’

‘Because the family have very kindly agreed to give your mother enough money to pay off all her debts, and in return, you must stay with them and work for them for six years, until you are eighteen. Is that OK?’ Can you do agree to that?

‘Agree? Why yes, of course. I have no choice do I?’

The man looked at her in silence.

‘But what happens… what happens if they are cruel to me and beat me and don’t feed me… what then?’

‘Don’t worry Ying, they won’t do that. They are good people, you have my word.’

‘And Mama? Will she be able to stop working in the paddy fields?’

He smiled at her concern. ‘Yes, Ying, you mother will have enough money to give up her work and stay at home. Your salary should be enough for the family’s daily needs, once she no longer needs to make the monthly payments on her bank loan.’

There was little more to discuss so she thanked the old man for his intervention and help in this matter, bade her farewells and walked slowly back to her own home.

Ying found her mother sitting cross legged on the ground outside their little home, waiting patiently for her return. She looked at her deeply troubled mother. Despite her tender age, she was not completely ignorant of the toll these past few years had inflicted on her mother; toiling in the hot, unremitting sun, up to her knees in muddy water, with her back bent at acute angles. This had left her with permanent back problems and severe arthritis. The child could see that Mama had been experiencing difficulty in getting about, even though she was still only in her forties. But to Ying’s young, but wise eyes, her poor Mama looked to be in her sixties.

Her mother looked at Ying, terrified what her eldest daughter might have to say.

‘It’s OK, Mama. You can stop worrying. I will go to Bangkok, and you can pay off the loans and stop working in the fields. I have agreed to everything.’

Her mother looked at her with tears in her eyes, and Ying knew that her Mama hated doing this to her daughter. The Kaman had told Ying that there was no time to be lost if Ying was to take up the position in Bangkok, so both of them were also distressed at the imminent departure of the family’s eldest daughter.  

Like most Thais, Ying’s family weren’t  particularly demonstrative, but on sudden impulse, she crouched down next to her Mama and hugged the disconsolate woman closely to her chest. ‘It’s OK, Mama – it’s OK; everything will be just fine.’

Her mother remained stiff and motionless; her moist, myopic eyes, transfixed on a nearby mangy dog which lay spread eagled on the hot dusty earth. As she stared, the dog’s shape slowly faded from view in the ever lengthening shadows of a fast approaching dusk.

***

A nation held to ransom?

10 Months, , still sober

Mobi-Babble

Sometimes I seem to lose all track of time, but it must have been about 10 days ago or so that Noo, Cookie and I took a stroll along the path by the lake and found that the undergrowth (weeds I guess) had seriously overgrown the track and the going was a little tough. Anyway we soldiered on but by the time we had returned home, Cookie and I were on our last legs, literally.

Poor Cookie immediately went lame for a couple of days, and I felt a nagging pain in one of my calf muscles – I must have strained it when trying to clambering through the chest high weeds.

The next day, I took stock. Cookie was still grossly overweight, which no doubt contributes to her propensity for going lame quite often and as for ‘yours truly’- I  was rapidly running out of wearable tops as my stomach continued to expand outwards. My weight was an incredible 98 kilos – by far the heaviest I have ever been, (even when I first took up exercise some 12 years ago  after a lifetime of ‘vegetation’ , I was only 90 kilos), and I was still woefully unfit with stiff, creaky joints that took a long while to get going in the morning. As with Cookie, I realised this was hardly surprising, given the increased weight that my ageing joints were being forced to carry.

So I immediately put Cookie on a ‘50% diet’ and I reviewed my own eating habits, and found them coming up seriously short. Although I was eating three relatively medium sized, not too fatty meals a day – cereal for breakfast, a sandwich in the afternoon and maybe a rice dish at night, I was stuffing myself with loads of fresh fruit. I was eating fruit to satisfy my ‘in between meals’ hunger pangs and to satisfy my craving for something sweet – a common problem for recovering alcoholics.

Previously, I had decided that by  indulging my craving for fruit – plus,  I confess, a nightly, thick, creamy chocolate ice cream – was the lesser of two evils, if I could succeed in my prime objective of keeping off the booze; and in any case, I used to think that fruit is  very good for you, full of vitamins. All that may well have been true  but fruit is also full of sugar, and I now have learned that an excess of fruit can often pile pounds of fat on middle aged stomachs – which is exactly what has happened to me.

So a week or so back, I finally realised that it was time to move into phase two of my recovery plan – get my diet properly under control, and reinforce my efforts to take proper exercise, which in spite of everything has been somewhat sporadic since my return from the UK. I would also add that apart from being grossly overweight and unfit, as an insulin dependant diabetic, I have been having increasing difficulty in keeping my blood sugars under control which has not contributed to feeling of general well-being. So I cut out all the fruit, except a half apple with my breakfast cereal, and no more ice cream.

After a couple of days of rest, Cookie’ leg was better, and since then, the three of us have taken a long, daily walk around the lake road to the 7/11 junction, through the grounds of  the Wat, and then back home again, all of which takes about 30 minutes.

Cookie is already looking much trimmer and in spite of the fact that for most of the past 10 days I have been in agony from the pain in my calf muscle when we take our daily walks, I have actually got my weight back down to around 94 kilos.

Thankfully, over the past two days the calf muscle pain has now receded to a tolerable level, and I am hoping that it will soon disappear completely. Apart from the pain, the thirty minute walk really ‘does me in’ and I feel like I have just completed a half marathon by the time I get back home. Cookie looks just as exhausted – what a pair we are!

I am under no illusions, and it will be a very long haul at my age, but it is imperative that I must now knuckle under and get myself trim and fit. I simply cannot go on like this. Nor can Cookie.

After the first few days of gasping for something to eat,  I have found that my hunger pangs and cravings  have substantially reduced; I know it’s just a question of ‘re-training my brain’. Every time I feel hungry, I sip some water or have a mug of tea – It works quite well; those of you wanting to lose weight should try it.

So 2011 was the year I quit the booze, and I hope that 2012 will be the year when I got my body back in some kind of half way decent shape. We shall see.

There’s nowt so queer as folk…

Yesterday, Noo had intended to drive her motorbike into town to do a bit of shopping, but we were suddenly deluged with some unseasonal rain which sort of  put a dampener on her plans.

She was sitting there, all doled up in her glad rags, waiting for the rain to stop, so I finally felt sorry for her and offered to drive her in.

We went to the ‘Big C/ex -Carrefour’ complex on Pattaya Klang, and I decided to have a coffee while Noo went and did her bit of shopping in the supermarket.

I used to love the little coffee place, outside the AIS phone shop on the second floor because not only do they make very tasty, inexpensive coffee, but it was a great place to sit and do a bit of ‘people watching’.

The ‘Carrefour’- Big C complex has always been a wonderful place to sit and watch the world go by –mainly because it is at the edge of two worlds – the world of the permanent and semi-permanent residents of our fair city and world of tourists who throng the nearby beach and beer bars.

If you sit in this Big C at any hour of the day and you will see a veritable hodgepodge of Pattaya’s unique and varied humanity: scantily clad  young ladies – either out to buy a few bits and pieces, or even to transact  a bit of afternoon ‘free-lancing’,  if they can land any well-heeled punters;  elderly, pot-bellied farangs, arm in arm with tiny young ladies a third of their age; young, often good looking farangs, hand in hand with some of the ugliest, most outlandishly dressed  bar-girls you have ever seen; ancient farang couples who are so old they can barely walk and look as though they might expire in front of you; young Thai ladies with clutches of ‘leuk kreung’ kids scampering along behind them; immaculately dressed Thai women – obviously red light workers – out for an afternoon with their pimp Thai boyfriends;  and so on and so forth. What a wonderful place!

So I was somewhat disappointed when Noo returned only half an hour later, her shopping done and suggested we buy some take away Japanese food at ‘Fuji’ down on the ground floor to eat back at home. I asked her why she hadn’t bought some Japanese food in the supermarket and she replied that she didn’t know thyat they sold it.

‘Come on,’ I said, I’ll show you.’

‘But what about the shopping trolley?’ she asked.

‘What about it?’

‘Well we can’t take it back in the supermarket with us and it’s a long way downstairs to the car park.’

I thought for a moment.

‘No problem’ I said, ‘Follow me,’ and I wheeled the trolley to the front of Home Pro, the DIY hardware store, opposite to Big C.

‘What are you buying here?’ Noo asked me.

‘Nothing, I’m just leaving the trolley here,’ whereupon I took the trolley to the customer care desk, where they took care of it and gave me a plastic number so that I could reclaim it when I had finished shopping.

Noo, started to walk into the home ware store. ‘Where are you going?’ I asked her.

‘Well we’ll have to buy something.’

‘No we won’t, come with me,’ I said, grabbing her and leading her out of Home pro and into Big C.

‘But what about the trolley?’

‘What about it?’

‘Won’t they want you to buy something? What will you tell them?

‘Nothing,’ I said, ‘Don’t worry about it. It’s not a problem.

She said no more and we walked into Big C and bought our bag of Jap food and walked back towards Home Pro.

‘We can buy a piece of plastic fencing for the garden – it costs 200 Baht’, she said to me.

‘A piece of fencing?’ Do we need a piece of fencing?’

‘No…but…’

‘So you want me to spend 200 Baht for the privilege of having Home Pro take care of our shopping trolley for 10 minutes?’

She looked at me, nonplussed. ‘No… not really…but…’

‘Look, you stay by the escalator and I will go and collect the trolley.’

So saying, I marched quickly over to the Home Pro counter, handed over my number and collected my trolley without a sign of a murmur from anyone. I even got a lovely smile and a ‘Kop Khun Krap’, accompanied by a dainty wai from the pretty young lady there.

It seems to me that wherever you go in the world, people are essentially the same. They are always worried about doing the wrong thing in public or embarrassing themselves – or, in the case of Thais – losing face.

Dear little Noo, who is usually so careful with our money, was prepared to spend 200 Baht on something we didn’t need, rather than risk losing face with the Home Pro staff.

There’s nowt so queer as folk’…. But I love them!!…well…Noo anyway.

A Nation held to ransom… but with no money to pay the demands.

Today the public service unions in The UK are holding the largest, coordinated one day public sector strike, since the 1920’s – almost 100 years ago.

We all watched aghast as the Greeks and the Italians  stubbornly refused to accept that there simply isn’t any money left in their kitties. We  decried the actions of the people in those countries who embarked on violent street protests and  public services strikes to show their virulent disagreement with their government’s attempts to introduce long overdue austerity measures. ‘Don’t they understand that whoever may have been responsible, there simply isn’t any money left to pay them?’ we asked ourselves.

Now, in the UK, we are seeing the start of similar, very unhelpful action.

I know and sympathise with many public service workers who see their pension benefits being eroded. It must be particularly galling to embark on a career of public service, understanding that you may well receive relatively low compensation, but always with a guarantee that you would be able to retire earlier than most, with a good pension. Then, after years of dedicated work, you find that the rug is being partially pulled from under you and that you will now have to work longer, will be required to make greater pension contributions, and may even end up with a slightly lower pension.

But to those who are striking today, I would like to put to you the following thoughts.

There is no question that the entire world is in middle of the biggest financial crisis that has ever existed. We are literally on the brink of global financial meltdown and at any moment the Euro may collapse which will have far reaching, devastating effects on the British economy. Is this really the right time to start withdrawing  labour and damage our fragile economy even further and create chaos across the land?

As a percentage of its GDP, the UK has more debt than almost any other country in the western world, yet at the present time, its debt borrowing interest rates are amongst the lowest – even lower than Germany.

Why? Because the financial markets perceive that Britain is one of the very few countries who has dared to bite the bullet and take the necessary, highly unpopular austerity measures to reduce its spiralling deficit. So in spite of the fact that the UK is clearly on the right lines, do you still selfishly insist that any cuts should not be extended to public sector workers?

Millions upon millions people in the private sector have either lost their pension entitlements entirely, or have had them drastically reduced, through no fault of their own.For the past thirty years, a vast majority of private sector employees have been obliged to accept changes in their pension arrangements which are now based on defined contributions, rather than defined benefits.

This is because commercial organisations can no longer afford to guarantee a pre -agreed level of benefit – based on employees’ final salaries. All they can do is make contributions to a pension fund, and when they retire, see how much money has accumulated in their ‘pension pot’ to buy them a pension.

So if companies operating in the real world can no longer afford to guarantee a level of pension – and this has been the case for many years now – why is it that public service workers expect that ordinary tax payers will fund guaranteed, public sector pensions that they have no chance of getting for themselves?

How can these public workers  justify striking, just  because they are having to work a few extra years and will suffer a slight reduction in their income, when millions of people are living close to poverty, unable to make ends meet, and are struggling to pay their monthly utility bills and to put a decent meal on their tables.

How can the public sector justify striking when they still have a job and still have a pension, unlike a generation of young adults who are probably condemned to decades, if not a lifetime of unemployment?

Rightly or wrongly, government pension schemes have never, ever been properly funded. The public sector workers keep insisting that the funds that they have contributed through the years have been used for other purposes. This may well be so, but the fact remains that the level of contributions that they have made over so many years, was never even close to the funding level necessary to meet the pension requirements as has been guaranteed by successive governments.

Pensions have never been properly funded, which is one of the many reasons why we are in the mess we in today. It is very sad and very wrong, but unfortunately you have been unlucky enough to draw the short straws. People are living longer and the gravy train is over. It is long overdue to reassess what public sector benefits the state can afford in a world which is in economic turmoil.

The government is still negotiating with the unions on the details of the proposed changes in the pension arrangements. These talks have not yet reached a deadlock, so why is the union calling a strike in advance of any irretrievable breakdown in discussions?

The answer is simple. Under current legislation once a union has voted to strike, a walkout must be held within 28 days or a new ballot must be held. But once a strike is held, the union then has a legal “mandate” for more strikes or other action until the dispute ends.

Thus, the union has secured its ‘yes ‘ vote and desperately needs to use this vote to strike within the 28 day deadline, just in case subsequent discussions with the government do in fact arrive at a compromise offer which their members might be inclined to accept, even though the union may well disagree.

I suggest that public sector workers should closely question their union leaders about their real motives for calling the strike at this point in time, especially as meaningful discussions are still continuing. Ask yourself why even the labour party, the party of – and supported by – the unions, does not support this strike?

A Lustful Gentleman

Here it is folks, under the ‘BUTT… BUTT…BUTTS‘, you will find the last two parts of Chapter One of my revised novel. I will now quickly move on to chapter two, which will be published over the coming days and weeks.

Some of you may have realised that I  continue to fine tune the text, even after I have published it here and this is an on-going process, right up to the time when it is completed. Most of the revisions, are very minor – just brushing up on the syntax or the sentence structure with no material changes to the underlying text.

In the unlikely event that I do make a substantive change which affects the plot lines, then of course I will inform you.

For those of you who read the first five chapters before I withdrew them from my blog and started again, I want to inform you that the character of Bobby Solo, the American lawyer – whose background story was set out in the original chapter two – is no more. I have removed him completely as a character and revised the plot lines accordingly.

There are several reasons for this decision, but the main one is that I decided there were too many principal characters and the plot became too difficult to coordinate. There are now only three main characters; Na, Toby and Ying – and I am very confident that the revised plot works much better with just the three of them.

Tomorrow, I will re-open the novel ‘Tab’ and publish the entire first chapter of ‘Lust’ as a blog ‘page’.

I hope you continue to enjoy my humble efforts.

BUTT…BUTT…BUTT… I don’t give a hoot!

CHAPTER ONE

(Continued)

x

There is no question that history always seemed to have a nasty habit of repeating itself, certainly as far as the hapless Na was concerned.  But it would be too easy jump to the conclusion that she was either simple minded or stupid – or even both.

    It wasn’t that she was lacking in intelligence; in fact, during her brief years at school she had demonstrated, on the contrary, that she was, and is, a very bright girl. As for being stupid, well if she was really stupid, she would never have managed to survive all these years, virtually on her own devices in this Mafia controlled hell-hole, since she was barely sixteen years of age.

    Not only had she been able to take care of herself, but she had also looked after her mother, as well as her offspring. Despite some tumultuous ‘ups and downs’ in her life, never once did anyone in her little family really want for anything during these past eleven years – ever since she had made that life-changing decision to leave the safety and comfort of the children’s mission at the age of sixteen.

    She sat on her thin mattress and looked across the dimly lit room at her mother, who was fast asleep on an adjacent mattress and at Wan, her seven year old daughter, who was also ‘dead to the world’.

    It was four am, and although Na was totally exhausted from her gruelling, fourteen hour shift at the Beach Road beer bar, she couldn’t fall asleep. Too many thoughts were whizzing around in her over-active brain.

    But at least, at long last, little baby Jom was asleep – probably from sheer exhaustion. When she had arrived home, an hour ago, the two month old baby had been screaming his head off, and there was nothing his grandmother could do to calm him down and get him off to sleep. He was not sick; he was just a screamer – ever since he had been born; so different from little Wan who had been such a gentle, quiet baby. Jom rarely slept more than four or five hours in a twenty four hour period. ‘How could two such different babies have come from the same mother’s womb?’ Na reflected. ‘Well,’ she surmised, ‘they might have had the same mother, but they had very different fathers. Maybe that’s the answer.’

    In the end, just as the three of them had more or less given up hope of getting any sleep that night, Jom had mercifully closed his eyes and had fallen into a deep slumber. Dow and Wan had lost no time in doing likewise, but for some unaccountable reason Na remained wide awake; contemplating her myriad problems and musing yet again, over her brief, but eventful life.

*

    Her meagre savings were fast running out. It was costing her a lot of money to keep baby Jom in formula milk and nappies, and ready cash was something that was proving very hard to come by these days. Apart from a few brief bright periods, it had been an upward struggle, ever since that terrible occasion, seven years ago when she had been obliged to sell every item she possessed to settle that crippling hospital bill.

    Her lovely motor bike, her jewellery and gold, her apartment furniture, fridge, TV, video player and even her precious land in Khon Kaen had all fallen victim to the need to raise money to pay her bill. Even then it hadn’t been enough, and she had been obliged to resort to borrowing from illegal money lenders to find the balance; spending the next three years, working day and night like a coolie, to pay off the loans which had been grossly inflated by the loan shark’s horrendous interest rates.

    She had embarked upon a serious retrenchment of her lifestyle, had been obliged to do a ‘moonlight flit’ from her luxury condo – owing three month’s rent – and  moved into  a modest, Thai-style room in a cheaper part of town. The first couple of months were very difficult as she was unable to work at all with a new born baby to nurse, but once she had recovered her full health and handed over the daily baby-caring duties to her mother, she slowly started to get her life back together.

    The scar on her stomach meant that she would never work again as a go-go dancer, but she was still a young and very stunning looking girl, whose good looks still turned most men’s eyes, even in a town which was crammed full of young, attractive women. Indeed, after she delivered her baby, her still slender frame filled out judiciously in all the right places, blessing her with an ‘hour glass’ figure that was more enticing than ever. She had blossomed into a gorgeous, desirable young lady.

    There were good times and bad times. On occasion, she would be ‘bought-out’ of the bar where she was working for several days at a time, or even for a week or so, by her farang customers. Most of these tourists were kind and generous to her and made sure she had a good time. Once in a while, a customer would take her with him to another part of Thailand and over the years she visited most of the popular Thai tourist destinations; Phuket, Chiang Mai, Koh Samui and many others. She even obtained a passport which she used on a couple of occasions when one of her richer punters whisked her off to Hong Kong or Singapore for a ‘shopping weekend’.

    In spite of all her trials and tribulations, she remained a bright, fun loving, effervescent young thing, who spoke passable bar-girl English and she became an ideal companion for foreign businessmen, often more than double her age, who travelled the region. Many of these men – usually divorced and with little spare time to go searching for a new wife – would revel in the ego-boosting delights of having a drop dead gorgeous young lady hanging on their arm whenever they went out on the town or socialised with friends.

    Indeed, Na nurtured the hope that one of these guys might end up being her future spouse, but as the years went by, such ‘business’ trips became rarer and rarer. Moreover, her daughter and mother, back in their rented room in Pattaya, remained a major obstacle to her chances of finding a husband.

    There were times when she wouldn’t find a customer for days and she had to resort to pawning some of her precious possessions at a local pawnshop, but eventually, a well-heeled customer would come to the rescue and pay her enough to redeem them, until the next occasion when she became desperate for money.

    On a few really bad occasions, she was obliged to tolerate the ‘bottom end’ of the ‘kaak’ sex-market; old, ugly fat farangs, (many of whom reminded her of the evil Klaus of her youth), who made her perform acts that disgusted her. But she had to live, and for the main part, life wasn’t too bad. Most of the farangs were reasonably well behaved and she generally managed to keep herself in good spirits.

*

    She had onl dozed off for a few minutes, when Jom suddenly started crying again. Within seconds, her mother awoke and picked him up, holding him in her arms, trying desperately to nurse him back to sleep. Five minutes later, the two adults breathed a sigh of relief as Jom once more closed his eyes and his grandmother placed him very gently back into his cot.

    Dow lay back down quickly fell to sleep but Na was wide awake again. For God’s sake – she had only slept for a few minutes! What on earth was going on? She decided to think back over her recent life again, as that seemed to get her in the mood for sleep. Now where was she? 

    She had been doing OK. Not particularly flush with money, but apart from the odd bad week or so – usually during the low season – she had managed to earn enough money to keep herself and her family comfortable. Wan had been enrolled at a decent Thai school, and although they still lived in a modest room, they ate well and had enough spare cash to make their lives a little more tolerable, with the occasional forays out to restaurants and the cinema, and of course, they had the ubiquitous television and mini CD karaoke stereo set that kept them entertained during the endless hours they spent at home.

    ‘Then what happened’, she asked herself?

   She was twenty-six years old when another moment of total madness overcame her. She became very friendly with a Thai man who worked in the same bar , and after a short period it had developed into a romatic relationship. He was a very handsome, charming young man who was the resident DJ and he only had to snap his fingers and the bar girls would come running. His sexual appetite was legendary and on most nights he would take two or three girls home with him from the bar.

    But Na was something special, and he soon became as infatuated with her as she was with him and as the affair grew ever more serious, she realised with much pleasure that she had shacked up with one of the very few men who could truly satisfy her. They had many interests in common and in particular, they shared a love of the latest western hip hop music. Na became convinced that this time it would be different and for the first time for years, she allowed herself to fall in love again. Her young Thai lover promised her the earth. He told her that he wanted to marry her and he would take care of her and her daughter for the rest of his life.

    For a short while, she believed every word he said, but when the first flush of romance started to wane, his eyes started to wander once again towards some of the other delectable young girls who were plying their trade in the bar, along with Na.  She should have known better, but once more she allowed her heart to rule her head. After all these years of working the bars, she should have realised that no Thai man would really get serious with a bar girl who slept with farangs for money, but like so many before her, she somehow believed that she was different. She decided on a foolhardy strategy that had already failed so miserably some eight years earlier; in her desperation to hold on to him, she once again allowed herself to become pregnant.

    It was a silly and disastrous mistake, as this time, the father-to-be didn’t even stay long enough to see her through the early months of her pregnancy. Within a week of learning of Na’s condition, he packed his meagre belongings and was gone – out of her life and his job at the bar for ever. There were plenty more jobs in Pattaya for a handsome young DJ.

    As before, she had cried herself to sleep for a week, then picked herself up and soldiered valiantly on. She continued to work as a hostess, right up to the time she delivered her second child; although for the last four months of her pregnancy she had to rely on her ‘share’ of  the few drinks that came her way. Even in ‘sin city’, nobody wanted to bed a heavily pregnant lady.

    After this latest birth, life once more became very tough and most of her prized possessions seemed to be permanently lodged in a nearby pawnshop. But even the birth of two babies had not significantly damaged her very trim figure; sure, her naked body bore a few tell-tale stretch marks of two full term pregnancies, as well as the ugly ceasarian scar, but all things considered, she was still in pretty good shape.

    ‘Yes,’ she assured herself, ‘I am still in good shape and I can still attract the men. Nothing to worry about…nothing to worry about…’

    At long last, sleep came to the weary Na for a few precious hours.

xi

    Her unsatisfied craving for somtum temporarily forgotten, Na hurried over to the smouldering car wreck to confirm what, deep down, she already knew. A large crowd had gathered around the badly damaged vehicle, but she pushed her way through in unladylike fashion and peered in through the darkened side window. One glance was enough; she knew him well enough. It was him – Toby – that bloody drunken old man.

    ‘What a bastard!’ she said out aloud. ‘What a fucking bastard!’ You crazy, drunken, bastard!  How many people have you killed Toby?’ she screamed through the window at the lifeless form, which lay slumped across the steering wheel.

    She turned her head to look at the scene of carnage – at the dying and badly mutilated bodies that were strewn across the road. Then she turned back towards the car and the perpetrator of this outrage.

    ‘I hope you’re dead, Toby, I hope you’re fucking dead! Because if you’re not – your life won’t be worth living, I can promise you that!’

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